I've never been to a child's funeral before let alone a baby's one. It is just so tragic and these things happen even in this day and age and advanced procedures and medicines.
The trouble is, with all these things, you feel so utterly helpless. There really isn't a thing you can do to help. I was thinking about that with what I went through and the reactions I got. I met a firend - haven't seen her for 15 months or more I guess - so she had no idea that I had had cancer and why should she, I didn't tell everyone. She was sorry and what for? I'm sorry but I decided to use my body like a refuse cart for years and I can feel sorry for being a bit of an arse but why should someone who has no control over things be sorry? So it is a bit like that tomorrow, what am I going to say and how am I going to react? Don't know, I'll have to see how I do and report back.
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4 comments:
The death of a child has to be the most senseless thing that mankind has to deal with. The innocence of a baby and the lost potential of a child's life is unfathomable. Loosing a six year old niece to cancer put's a a blak spot on my soul. I dread going through the pain an suffering that a parent must endure wiht the loss of a son or daughter.
Having superficial bladder caner may not be as bad I thought.....
Hello John W - thanks for your comments and that was the word I was looking for "unfathomable". At church today you have to question what is going on, all the comforting words but it was such an ordeal for the parents.
On the Cancer side I see they are thinking of dropping the word "Superficial" - as my specialist said to me - it anything BUT superficial, if we don't treat it. I think because it is easily treatable that they call it that but that trivialises it. Mind you I am as guilty of trivialising BC as most I suppose. Maybe I don't want to face up to the fact that it was pretty serious.
While time heals wounds, life is too short to ease the loss of a child. The pain may be dulled, but it never goes away. My prayer goes out to your friends.
I've enjoy reading your blog entries over the past year. When I was diagnosed, I think my mind shut down for awhile after hearing the word, cancer. A year later, with a reoccurence and scheduled for BCG treatments, I appreciated reading about you story. The more I read about bladder cancer, the more informed I became. I think this help me reduce my fear level and deal with this problem. I wish you the best of luck with your situation.
John W
Hi John - I found this site good http://www.blcwebcafe.org/ there is some detailed BCG information. The forum is (like all forums) dominated by a few people and so I don't believe it is representative of how many BC patients there are and at what stage they are either. Those treated and having nothing to say, I guess, drift away so it tends to be those with more serious issues. I found the BCG stuff very good in the main site. I have tended to ignore the other side as it is not representative of the majority of experiences I think.
Good luck with your treatment too, I've all my anniversaries coming up soon - I can hardly believe it was less than a year ago that I was diagnosed it feels a long time ago.
All the best for now.
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