I was speaking to someone yesterday who reckoned that I was suffering from what some might call a sort of post traumatic stress syndrome. well I suppose that could be true. I think it is a combination of things and one of them is the utter relief of the outcome of the cancer clear prognosis. I hadn't considered how much you fight this thing mentally until I thought about what she said to me.
I have often said that you need to use your mind to help you and that it was always two battles. The mind is powerful and if you can imagine that there is a constant dialogue going on about whether or not you feel up or down, accept or deny what is happening, psyche yourself up or down to take good or bad news etc, you must be using up massive amounts of your reserves to fight your cancer with your mind. Additionally lets consider the physical side too.
I'm a relatively fit 50 year old and have been doing some exercise but - the impact on your body isn't one of wasted muscles and can't really be seen - they certainly stir up you insides around your bladder area. I'm sure that your whole balance is shot to pieces and with Immunotherapy actually making your body fight the cancer (or keep it away) the other areas of your body are totally out of balance with that.
Anyway, I am coming to the conclusion that at the end of this week I am switching off and I am going to take some more time for myself. I am sure that all I need is to turn off the computers, get my walking boots on and enjoy some of the local countryside, a few pints of real ale next to an open fire and also to get into the Christmas mood too.
It isn't easy to switch off but it is something I must do.
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