Now I'm not so sure

It is Sunday evening and some of the bravado has gone and I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.

I've had a good afternoon, sat in the garden, it's been warm and sunny and I've had a few beers. Now, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow - who would be? The planes have been whizzing overhead from the Air Show and all in all it has been a relaxing day but with too much time to sit and think!

The old reality check has kicked in and - all the brave face stuff can be put aside. It was last November and December when I had the last lot and - come to think of it - the days were quite pleasant and mild but the after affects were pretty serious.

I was saying earlier that I can handle this next lot better - and I'm sure I can. I have a better attitude and outlook this time, and I'm sure that is right. Fitter and healthier too. The upshot is that this stuff is pretty harsh and whilst it is better than Chemo it really does beat you up.

Knock the brave bit on the head for a while - this is not going to be a thing that you'd want to do willingly. Sure it cures you but it does feel like you turn up for a beating sometimes - if you get my meaning. Who would want to voluntarily go and get their "equipment" kicked in once a week for 6 weeks?

Anyway, I'm allowed to be a bit tentative as it is me who is going to go through the treatment. As I said earlier - I'm more prepared for it this time - but I'm also more respectful of it too.

No doubt tomorrow will bring some more thoughts and ideas.