1:30 in the morning and I can't say I'm wanting to be awake but I am. I'm thinking of nothing much in particular. I've decided to get up rather than disturb and I've found my way in here to see that one of my PCs has seized up - only the one running an overnight batch job (of course) so I'll have to do that another day.
I'm annoyed about some of the petty things that happen in life and I guess there is a bit of me realising that the kids are growing up - oldest has her driving test on Tuesday!
I'm just getting old and don't want to. I also am having the mid life bit - you know - I've probably lived for longer than I'm going to live :-)
I have a very bad brain for that sort of thing :-)
Anyone want to say pull yourself together or anything equally crass - get in line!
2 comments:
Think you are suffering from "survivor syndrome"
Look at what you have got, happy wife, two very good children, lots of friends, and maybe another thirty years of enjoyable life.
You and your family have been through a lot. They have all suffered as well.
You will come out OK.
valbri
I think that logically all of that is true. I'm also aware that I am where I am at the moment so that I can do something about it. It isn't a heavy depression as such nor is it a bad as it appears on paper. It is a general malaise and as you suggest survivor syndrome is very much what it is.
When people say fighting the disease - you do it with targets and sometimes, you find the targets didn't quite hold up to the expectation (a bit like the last Harry Potter book I might add).
Things take on a different shape this week with C and the girls back to work, college and school. I have visits to make and things to do so I expect that by mid week it should be a different me as I'll have things to take my mind off inward thoughts.
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