The New Me

Well it isn't really the new me at all of course. It is the more positive me. A more aggressive outlook and a more focused use of my effort and attentions.

I am determined to claw my way back to being me and trying not to concern myself too much about the past and concentrate on the future whatever that may hold.

I've made a conscious decision to really tackle my weight and exercise regime in such a way that I can mix work and exercise and not have one cancel the other out. I am also determined to get fit and to re-commence my eating regime. For all sorts of reasons and rightly or wrongly I haven't really done anything in a routine since the BCG treatments. First it was the party then the holiday and then full on with the job and other things and all else went by the wayside.

It is easy to get out of a routine. It is far more difficult to get into one. To do the things you are comfortable with is a human trait. It is doing things because they are outside of that zone which will be setting me my challenges - John F Kennedy's We Choose to Go to the Moon speech pops into my head to do things because they are hard, because they are a challenge and because they push the boundaries. Without setting goals and then achieving them are key elements in the fight back to normality and stopping the roller coaster.

My mate K was there tonight and I have to thank him again as it was his idea that I start this blog. It is everything and more I wanted it to be and it allows me to get stuff off my chest, tell people that it is normal to have whatever is happening to you in your cancer journey and it allows me to look back and realise just how far I have come in 11 months since the blog started and 15 months since I was diagnosed.

So I've had a good day and good evening and I hope that I can just build on that over the next few weeks. I'm used to being the manager and getting my own way and having everything just so - because it isn't has thrown me quite a bit - to get back to "old" (although I don't want old for the sake of it) ways is important as it is my baseline.