Well

My friend didn't turn up tonight but I heard he had an operation to remove a growth in his sinus and so is awaiting the outcome of the tests on that. He went through some pretty shitty treatment last time resulting in having his face opened up and the cancer removed. He's a lovely lad and just about to become a father. You know where I'm going with this I'm sure. Why is it that those who do good, work hard, about to bring up a family and all the responsibility that entails have these problems. It's just unfair.

Unfair - that's the word. If there were any justice in the world it wouldn't be him. If you were to sit in judgement and look around the evil things people do you'd sort of want them to suffer and be chosen but somehow it just doesn't seem to happen to them. Sometimes this life is cruel and nonsensical, illogical and just downright upsetting. I'm probably too close to it and not being balanced about it but it does seem to be an unfair distribution and you see tragic cases and it just doesn't make sense.

I said some time ago that I was struggling with why I was "spared" and in some way, I've had a real change in my life these past 5 years. I've spent 2 years working for a charity and now I'm doing something that - if it is successful - may well open up opportunity to all through equal access to the internet. That would be something worthwhile to come out of it. Chosen? Not sure, empathetic to those who lose out - you bet. I'm enjoying the journey a lot although it is getting near to crunch time and we will see if we are barking mad or actually have a good idea.