This morning and it was one of those very rare times that I've heard him actually feel sorry for himself or say that he wasn't particularly well. He sounded weak and he sounded frail. He's sleeping a lot at the moment and is due in on Wednesday for his endoscope which we hope will sort out his jaundice if nothing else and take a biopsy. Now he's not hurting or in pain, not shaking or anything else and so in a way that's pretty good news - but we will have to wait and see.
He has some more scopes and things to go through and he's had a number of scans - he's had the dye in the veins one so I imagine he is feeling pretty awful - as I did when I had that. For a guy who hates the doctor and hospitals he's managing OK. He needs to get over the YUK factor and realise that everything happens at their own speed.
I said yesterday that I can't go with him on this - I can't live his pain for him because it hurts me just thinking about it. I feel like I've just had some of this stuff done to me, I feel the back of my hand hurting and knots in my stomach just thinking about it in passing and even now writing this. I really don't need to be giving myself this level of grief and thinking about that dye in the veins thing really gave me a turn - I hadn't realised he had had that. Then again - they didn't know about all the times I had my stuff - some but not all.
Anyway - Wednesday is the big day and with some luck we will know more towards the end of the week.
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