I'm in the strangest of places. I'd like to consider myself on the road tor recovery and I also obversely feel that I'm back on the road to mediocrity as well. So what do I mean?
Working for a global conglomerate appeals in as much as I will get a big salary and a nice car and all the trappings that go with a top 10 job. I've earn't it, I deserve it, I can deliver and so on etc. I can get a really nice salary and pension and I could get myself a decent living out of it but actually is that REALLY what I want? I don't know at all but it will set in motion some interesting scenarios. Take this evening as a case in point./ It is 11:20 as I write this. Mrs. F. is knackered and dog tired. She's been doing some private work and came and collected me from my meeting and I'd been in the bar - it's cheat day and so beer is on the menu! She is in bed, I'm like a live wire. This is a problem! We aren't even on the same wave length as she is asleep and I'd like to party all night.
She's got some Church Service to go to in the morning and so another day will go by without us talking or seeing each other. Problem? Of course it is. She's awake when I'm asleep and I'm awake when she is asleep.
I fear any new job I have will just widen that gap and make it untenable. I find the Irony that everyone wants me to go and get a job and do what I'm great at will inevitably lead to a complete destruction of family life as it did in the past. You see I loved my past life and the lifestyle I had - I enjoyed a lifestyle that you could only dream of. I doubt that my family could reflect in that apart from the "rewards" that come from it.
I hate the idea of taking on a great job which results in my happiness but no one else's!
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