Positivity

It's nice when you speak to people or perhaps it's just text and they say how positive I am and what a good outlook I've got and suddenly I'm just free of all the cr@p that I had to deal with before.  It is amazing how you live with it for a long time and you aren't really certain if your instincts which were telling me that it was all over (for many many years I have to say) were actually right.  I imagine I was in denial and I needed to work it out as I wasn't sure what it was.  

The depression and the not wanting to do anything or get up in the morning are gone.  I get up fresh every morning and wonder what will I do today.  Build the business is indeed one of the things but it's no longer needs to be done NOW! Arggh :-) that beating myself up about the delay that something took or having to wait until next week for something is all ebbing away.  I may now think like that but I can now recognise it and just stop, think how silly it is and move on.

Things will get done and that's the way it is.  I will set my business up but it doesn't matter if it is tomorrow or next month.  There is no longer a need to worry about it.  It will happen in it's own sweet time.  I thought it was funny that someone was worried that I hadn't got a lady friend in tow.  When I said it had only been 2 1/2 weeks since I moved out they were surprised.  Again, it's my tone, my outlook and goodness do I really need a relationship now?  Jeez I'm just getting used to being free again :-) It would be nice to have someone to meet but I'm not absolutely certain about that.  Anyway I have plenty of friends and I've been out and about with them a number of times already.  No I'm fine excepting the little pangs I get occasionally.

I'm not sure if it is right that I actually feel pangs for Mrs. F.  I imagine her being quite upset still about things.  Bless her.  I haven't seen her since the day I moved out.  Probably not a bad thing... It is funny though that I suddenly feel like that but as I've said I hate that I've hurt her.  I know, I know she's hurt me too but.... :-)

So it is Saturday and I've spent a little too long on this damn laptop as it is :-) Time to go do something....