Awake for over an hour last night then got up early so as not to disturb my partner and raging tinnitus to deal with too but on the upside it is sunny and bright this morning. The birds started early around 5 just after I'd got back to sleep and here I am yawning away.
I know how to go to sleep too but not this morning and on checking, it wasn't one of the mouse traps that had gone off so goodness knows what made the bang at around 3 am.
My mind / brain, whatever, always has been the biggest problem I've had to live with it as it can just run away out of control and catastrophise situations even applying its own logic to that. It is destructive and makes "mountains out of molehills" as they say. It can leave me exhausted too which makes it hard work to get out of the hole I've dug myself.
It was a tsunami of thoughts that overloaded my brain in the early hours of the morning and it doesn't respond to logical thought and counter argument for there is no logic to the order they arrive at and you cannot second guess the next wave of "bad news" and accusational headline thrown into the mix. So overwhelming is it that it swamps your senses and can bring me close to breakdown wanting to just curl up in a ball and meltdown. So it was this morning. After an hour I finally fell asleep and things were fine again until on waking early I had to get up and come downstairs to just do something, anything to take my mind off of the head full of nonsense I had programmed in earlier.
I have these episodes every now and again. It will be around for just a day or maybe two at the most and then settle down.
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