You don't get counselled

My friend and I were chatting about this and whilst he was told a lot about his condition and what was going to happen he had plenty of information about the procedure and the recovery but very little about the emotional side. His cancer would produce perhaps a more emotional response as it would affect his life and activities. I had an inkling what was going on but I learnt more afterwards. I was told enough to know what I had and what was going to be done in my TURBT operation and also the IVU. So neither of us received a "here is how this will mess with your brain" talk.

At no point though did anyone one talk to me about "living with cancer" or what it means to me or what I ought to be aware of. It is different to other things you get as I've mentioned before, it isn't as if you have one operation or two and that is it. There is something far deeper going on. The dark side (OK I sound like Darth Vader) but there is a lot of mental stuff to deal with. It isn't like those movies you see. There is the healing process of the body and the mind. However, you just get on and deal with it. In fact - I'd have liked to have known a little more. I knew enough to know what I was going through at the time but not what I'd go through afterwards. All of my knowledge has been gleaned from the Internet and downloading some very good NHS and other pamphlets.

But nowhere have i found the bit to deal with how you react to this yourself and how you affect others around you by your behaviour.

It is almost as if it is an elitist club - unless you have had cancer you have little idea what someone has actually gone through. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have gone through what my friend had but some parts were common and not nice. To have had any of these things happen is bad enough but to experience the dreams and thoughts and dark moods are a part no one tells you about.

I've always viewed "counselling" suspiciously but having now been forced to sit on the other side of the fence I can see why it can be useful.