Mind Wobbles

 Damn it, I've moved my life in a huge way since 2006 and yet, how strange, I'm back with Black Dog again.  Lots of reasons I think although it's not Cancer again (I'm pretty sure of that).

Weight - well there's a thing I've expanded way too much.  I dropped off my Keto LCHF diet about two or three years ago and the beer, bread and pasta, potatoes and flour have made me into the Pillsbury Dough Boy!  The Stoooppid lockdowns and mask bollocks, walking around one way in supermarkets and all that discredited crap haven't helped me and humans being bloody evil to each other isn't helping either. 

Falling out with my GP over wearing masks in waiting rooms and consultations has resulted in them dropping repeat prescriptions for me so I need to change my lifestyle and not rely on meds.  Nothing sinister just Blood Pressure which I imagine is now high as I'm stressed and anxious.  I'm not entirely convinced what has brought it on but I am sure that if I lose a significant amount of weight, get out and about walking - I live in the country so that shouldn't be difficult, an almost blanket ban on TV and Social Media and I hope to overcome both this wanting to only stay at home and the claustrophobia I had back in 2006 - 2009 periods.  

I've devised a bit of a plan to overcome it and that goes into action next week.  I'm running down my beer supply which will be finished come Saturday evening's Rugby World Cup FInal.  I'm stocking up on various meat, offal and eggs and I will almost exclusively go Paleo or Keto LCHF.  The aim is to lose around 7 stone.  I am over 18 stone and am just under 6 feet tall.  I used to weigh 11 1/2 Stone when I was 19 and I am aiming to drop to somewhere near that in the next few years.  It can't be done overnight and it is a long-term target but I must do this to bring down my weight, and my blood pressure and to get back to being healthy.  Imagine carrying around all that extra weight all the time.  

I'm thinking of dropping all other commitments for a short while (clubs and the like) and going a bit "hermit" for a while.  I need to disconnect, recharge and then slowly reconnect again.  It's not easy I have to say.

I was surprised quite how quickly this has come about but I think it has a lot to do with the collective Covid madness where everything was taken from me, my business and earnings and having seen through it and done whatever was in my power (not a lot of power) tried to stop everyone going mad.  Now I see that people are beginning to wake up to the facts of the matter and to see how we were lied to in every country around the world by useless politicians and health experts.  As I said before, the NHS in this country is shot to pieces, they think by employing Climate Change Officers (hundreds of them) at £100K each per year plus a nice index-linked pension etc etc. they'll make a dent in the 7,000,000 waiting list - that's in a country of 64,000,000.  2,000,000 are awaiting surgery.  It's hardly world-leading and if as they say it is why has no other country in the world copied it? I'll wait.

Hilarious last year when someone offered me a mask and I just said No, quite assertively.  These people must be off their heads to think any mask can stop a virus, the weave isn't fine enough and if it was fine enough you'd have real difficulty breathing through it.  If a virus can enter through your eyes too, what good are masks?

And, by me writing that I see what some of the Black Dog problem stems from.  If professionals are doing things that they should be questioning and people choose sides in conflicts ignoring the collateral damage inflicted, if politicians can send billions to endless war but not protect their people, the ones who give them power and vote for them, what have we become?

It really is time to disconnect from this madness where people thousands of miles away from conflict march in the streets and choose sides rather than demand peace and where mandates were placed on people to control all aspects of their lives and make life hard for us then things will begin to work themselves out.  My mind is tired of analysing it all, I know that people are getting really rich through this and ordinary people are suffering.  I wonder for how long that will be?  There comes a point of strain but I've reached it now and I am wondering when other people, probably worse affected by cost of living crises and being fined and taxed, paying through the nose for utilities and having their mortgages take them towards breaking point?  It feels like civil unrest is coming, perhaps not now and maybe not in my lifetime but the undercurrents are there and it's either by design or these people are building a rod for their own backs without knowing it.

For my part, I'm burnt out with it.  I've done what I can written to MPs and so on but perhaps actions will speak louder than words in the long run.  I just know that I've got to decouple from it all now or I'll slip further into the hole created by Black Dog.