Tuesday, July 03, 2018

Twelve Years Ago Today

Yes, it's been twelve eventful years since that day that I arrived at my Hotel and went to the toilet, only to discover that I was urinating a stream of blood.  The World Cup was on as I recall and I think we were beaten by Portugal.  I spent the next few days in disbelief as I continued to show signs which heaven knows were distressing enough and yet, I didn't feel unwell at that point.

This blog is a testimony to the NHS who sorted me out, the good, bad, ugly and indifferent, the highs and the lows, those who helped and those who shied away, those who came on the journey with me and those who did not.

It's a journey of love, hope and charity.  Amazing lows and extreme highs.  Looking back, I had one hell of a ride and much of it not caused by Cancer directly.  Sure the treatment was a challenge and dealing with mortality and other consequences but I didn't expect my head to have to go through all of that nonsense and of course, there were consequences of my marriage ending (not direct) and the realisation that I had to dig myself out of the "hopeless" space I was in.  I say hopeless but it lies in each of us to be able to get out of that blackest of spaces.  

Today, I'm a little down in the mouth, it's the day after 2nd July that it all kicked off.  It's the 3rd July today and the anniversary of my father's death through Pancreatic Cancer and tomorrow, it's my birthday. 

The overwhelming message is that it is great to be alive, you can cure Bladder Cancer although you do tend to live with the threat a lot more as I get checked every 6 months for recurrence.

If you've just been diagnosed, I hope that you will be encouraged that things get better and the main thing is don't think it is going to get fixed in a day, it takes a while longer than that and you have to bear with it whilst they sort you out.  Get your head into a good space if you can, relax and remember that you can help yourself as much as your team helps you through good diet, precautionary measures and keeping your head in gear too.