Perception

Is everything so the tag line on our site goes.  But perception means many things.  I like our tag line as it works on many levels it says a lot about how we feel about the business and how we feel about ourselves.  It also asks the reader to reflect on what they are thinking and feeling etc.

So perception - how do I or others perceive bladder cancer?  It floated into my head tonight and I  considered what I knew from the various conversations I have had and some of the observations I made on my journey.   There are major differences of course if you talk to someone who has or has had cancer as opposed to someone who hasn't.   

Perception is the knowledge between those of us who have had cancer and how we immediately understand the situation of the other person.  By this I mean as soon as we both realise that we have had cancer then we automatically have a bond of understanding and we know what the other has probably been through and it is OK (generally) to talk in some detail about what went on and how we are, the tests and the blood and gore etc.

If we haven't got that cancer bond then it can be a difficult conversation and that in itself is where the perception bit comes in.  It is just difficult in terms of subject matter and different people process it differently and that makes for some interesting conversations.  

I was quite surprised to see someone almost jump back in surprise when I said I'd survived cancer :-) it was as if I'd have come back from the dead or something.

Some people are curious, some patronising, some fearful and some just want to get the hell away from you.   It's all driven by what you do and don't know and what you think or how you are taught to think.

Ouch

My Jaw is aching - not surprising I suppose considering the near 1 hour struggle the guy had getting my tooth out and yanking it this way and that.  The damage I can feel with my tongue is pretty extensive and where he has had to leverage against my lower jaw and lip it is still numbed.

So I've had plenty of pain killers and some throat tablets too as I've got a sore throat and sound like I've gargled with sandpaper for a week.  Talking of gargling, having to wash out my mouth with salt water 3 or 4 times a day isn't too much fun either.  

The snow is melting fast and I was able to get out and drop L off to work this morning without too much drama.  I certainly could do without the jaw ache and mild headache and sore throat though.  

Oh well I shall just have to get on with it and hope that it settles down over the next week or so.  It will be the other end in a week and a bits time.

Ooeerr

I went out last night, walking down roads where the snow ploughs had been - it was an amazing, quiet walk through frost sparkling roads to the pub to meet my friend.  To my amazement the pub was heaving.  We had a couple of beers and then wandered off to another pub that was a little quieter.  We had a few more beers and I wandered home again in a spooky white sparkling world.

Even after ploughing the snow must be 4 to 6 inches thick on the road.  This morning a quick thaw has gotten under way which is really getting going now.  We have the prospect of an overnight frost though and I need to drive tomorrow.

This morning I had the Jaw ache from hell and had to come downstairs to get plenty of pain killers and just lay down in my chair for a few hours.  I eventually dozed off and things are a little better now.  I suppose I ought not to be surprised considering how long it actually took to get the tooth our and also the amount of damage my gums, lips and jaw have taken.  I just need to keep taking the tablets and gargling and getting back to normality.

Salt Gargle - Yuk

I hate gargling with salt - not having tasted table or sea salt for a long time now it really is quite strange tasting so much salty water in my mouth.  It is doing me good so I have to remember that.  At least I am not looking like a Hamster this morning but I'm pretty tender and so using the pain killers just to take the edge off of it for the moment.  I woke up and there had been a bit of bleeding last night so my pillow looked a bit like the Godfather scene :-) it always looks a lot even if it wasn't.

So today the girls and Mrs. F. Have dug the drive out to the road and in some areas the ploughs have been through and sorted out the bus routes.  Local stores have been replenished and gradually people are emerging into the white scape around here.  The ploughs haven't got to us but the road looks passable with care this morning.  Just as well as we have to get L to work tomorrow somehow.

At least I have been able to get on with some work these few days and now that I'm clear of dental work for the foreseeable future I only have to go get my blood done and have my flexible cystoscopy.  I wonder if I can actually look this time?  Not sure that it would be in mine or their best interests as to pick up even the new slimmer me may be difficult :-)

More days locked in

It seems that we will still have this appalling weather with us for some days yet and that's OK as I can stay in and get all my work done. There is sure to be plenty of disruption to come with burst pipes, refuse collections to be caught up and deliveries and post to catch up.

I'm just about to polish off some more pain killers and then do a salt gargle to sort out my mouth. It is OK but as with all these things needs careful attention and to follow the instructions to make sure it resolves itself properly.

Other than this I am feeling OK and looking forward to the morning when I can get a warm drink and food inside me.

Just to give an idea

This was yesterday - today it has doubled and so snow is half way up the cars.

Snow and A Cavity

Well another 8" of the white stuff overnight and the country is paralysed. Barely anything moving, no trains and just the odd 4WD.  It is so deep most people don't realise that they are actually acting as snow ploughs with their front spoilers piling up snow.  Efforts to move a van around the corner have made 2 hours and about 10 yards so far.  

The trip to the dentist was hard going, sometime up to my knees in snow but as he had made it in it was incumbent on me to do so as well.  The Wisdom tooth extraction was difficult and I can really feel it as there was much pulling and grinding and plenty of extra local anaesthetic which is now wearing off.   It has left a pretty badly damaged mouth and local area but plenty of pain killers appear to be sorting that out.  We are waiting for the snow to stop a little later today then the temperatures will plummet to -6 to -9 Celsius which is about 16 degrees Fahrenheit if I remember rightly!

No trains at all today again and it is amazing that we have this much snow this early in the season.  It reminds me of when I was a kid.  We don't do snow in England and we have no investment in the sort of kit that many others have as we don't normally get this sort of winter...

Anyway, no more tooth work for me until the new year - I'm going to see my dentist in March for a check up and see how things are.  For the rest of the day no hot drinks or food and starting tomorrow the old salt water rinses and slowly get back to normal.  I have to say that the Root Canal work might have been preferable but looking at the state of my tooth it sure needed sorting out.

I need to go and get some more tablets in a minute as these are wearing off and I feel like an opponent of Mike Tyson must have done.

 

Gridlock

If yesterday and today are anything to go by. Why two quite large lorries decided to come down our little road is beyond me. They both got stuck and thankfully a 4WD came and towed them on their way but - of course - not one could get anywhere whilst that was happening.

I reckon I haven't seen snow like this since 1967 or perhaps 1987 - it has drifted to be up to 2 feet deep - this is a lot for us in case you were wondering. Last year 6 inches of snow brought the place to its knees, this has done about the same and we are in for more. so they say.

Tooth due for extraction tomorrow which I am not looking forward to. I will call in the morning to make sure they are still going ahead. It will be a fair old walk to there - it is normally 20 minutes or so - I expect it will be 30 or 40 with it snowing.

Now that's what I call Snow

What an amazing sight this morning.  There was a fair amount of snow overnight but it just got worse during the morning and Mrs. F. kindly went up to the Hospital with my pee sample as she had to take A to get her blood test done.  I was waiting in for my business partner but the roads and basically the whole country shut down again today and so he ended up going home as the road here was blocked by abandoned cars and traffic accidents.

As there were hardly any people around A got her blood test about 30 seconds after she got there which was a blessing as she, like I, does not greatly like such things.  They handed in my test so that in 2 weeks time I can have my Flexible Cystoscopy.  Not something I'm greatly looking forward to but something that has to be done of course.

It looks as if we are in for more travel chaos - they only knew the snow was coming for about a week and they still couldn't cope.

Suddenly Christmas is upon us and I've a mountain to climb in terms of getting things done and trying to make sure that I have work and leisure things tied up.  Trouble is there are just so many things vying for my attention.  Oh well - I'm sure they'll all get done sooner or later.

Must remember

Pee in a pot tomorrow morning and get that off to the Hospital. The threat of snow here is now getting nearer. None so far tonight but that can change as quick as you like.

It is 2 weeks away from my Flexible Cystoscopy and only three days away for my tooth extraction and to top that the Doc wants a blood test (maybe I can do Christmas Eve like last time - it was empty then!!). Talking of which - the new simpler way of sorting this out isn't! They now have a printed paper form not the old bag and handwritten form - yippee progress. Well it would be if they actually informed you whether the fasting blood test is actually necessary. You see they say you no longer need to these days. On the old form it told you what to do on this one? Of course, not a word, you have to guess I suppose :-) Luckily Mrs. F is heading down to the quacks tomorrow so will ask the question of them. Typical! I wonder if it is me. Service and thinking about what you do before it backfires on you doesn't appear to be in the human Psyche at all. Why does no one think this stuff through? Someone else's job I suppose.

I'm feeling good and I had such a great weekend with the guys up in Scotland. So good that I feel that could (or should) become a regular feature on my calendar.

Some Photos of Strathaven

Pronounced "strayvan"

The Hotel

 That's roughly how cold it was :-)

The Town

Town Church

The Castle

I'm Alive

Well I survived Scotland including the snow and ice. It was a really great time. More when I get some sleep - 7 hours + in a car there and back were enough to make me feel really tired. Let alone two nights of getting to bed gone 3 am don't help either.

Yay - web site is up

Finally the web site is up and running.

I can't even begin to tell you how disruptive it has been to get to this stage but now it is completed, I'm really happy with it and it is just enough to get our message across without too much detail.

HERE IT IS

Now to get on with the rest of the planning work.

Cold snap

It is pretty cold here and the damp weather with this cold snap goes right through you. I've been working away today on various things to get the survey questionnaire completed and we have been struggling with the web site getting that loaded onto the web site and tested.

It worked find in test, a doddle in fact, but at the moment all I can see if the text and none of the images and they really are the thing that makes the site work.

Off to Scotland - where the worst of the weather is - tomorrow morning at 05:30 so I need to get myself ready and sorted for that at some time tonight! I am looking forward to it but not to miles of snow and ice that will go with it!!!

Maybe it is finally time to move my books and computer back up to my office and work up there where it is a little warmer than in our front room which is always cool - even in the Summer.

No it can't be

Yes it is it is 1:25 in the morning and I can't work out why that should be? Then I realised I was watching a channel that was +1 on TV meaning that I started it an hour later. Oh nuts...

Oh well, that will be why my feet are cold then. Tomorrow (well later today) I need to get ready for Scotland on Friday morning. I am still sat here at my computer thrashing away. Had a good day today and the web site is agreed and ready to roll out. That will be by the end of the week.

Suddenly lots of the business and the plans are coming together in my head and I really could have done with just spending the weekend writing them up. However, Scotland beckons and we are due lots of snow just for the hell of it so instead of going up in my friends rather swish Mercedes Grand Tourer we are going to go up in the Jeep instead. Not sure what that will be like but we shall see no doubt....

London - Hate It

It has lost much of its appeal for me these days although Covent Garden looked fantastic, they have huge tree baubles hanging from the roof - they must be 20 foot across. Amazing.

Work was as insanely pickey as I remember it being from the last time I was there and somehow things were more distant than they have been for some time. Maybe it is all wearing a bit thin now? Anyway, I have some work to do on the site - phew, lots of work, the number of changes are substantial for me although they are minor in nature it is still quite an undertaking which will keep me busy through December and January.

The Web site is completed and we now just need the files and we can upload them and hey presto, we will be up and running - I hope.

It is late

I really should be in bed but for some reason, best known to myself, I am wide awake. Had some amazing dreams last night, real Sci-Fi stuff and how on earth the brain can deliver Blu-Ray quality images as good as that I have no idea, it was fantastic, with huge machines coming down out of the ceiling and stuff moving about everywhere, bright chrome and metallic stuff everywhere, sound, colour the lot - and then the phone went!!!

So stuck wide awake now - really getting buzzy about the website which is all but finished, a few bits of code to go in to finalise things and there we go. If I say it myself, I am pleased with the results. I hate my photo but then I hate my photo, my voice and everything else about me - I don't know why but I do dislike seeing myself and hearing my voice on tape or film throws me every time. No one else complains so I suppose other people see me differently.

Now all I want is the web site active, the email set up properly and away I go as it then starts to get really interesting.

I am off to work in about 5 hours time!!!! Back up to London to finalise the Wiki and the documents I have been working on all year. This will give me some money prior to and just after Christmas which will be nice to have. I can't see investment being available until Easter next year at the earliest!

I'm feeling self assured about my visit to the Hospital as a few weeks before then I will have a tooth extracted and having just gone through Root Canal treatment, I can only imagine that having a flexi a few weeks later will just be a doddle...

Well - I suppose I ought to go to bed now or suffer the indignation of falling asleep in a meeting (not for the first time I hasten to add!!!!) :-)

What time is it?

Or something like that I said as at 7am this morning my friend called me "Did you ring me" he asked. "No" I said dozily. "Oh well, sorry to disturb you, bye."

So I was up and I really could have done with the sleep if the truth be known!

Anyway that was a rude old start to the morning :-) SO I got up and started work early - I will be looking forward to my bed tonight though.

Some good news is that Steve Kelley's Blog has just got an award (see below). So congratulations to Steve on that - it is excellent news.


Today I managed to get really cracking on some work at last. The Web Site has been finalised over the weekend and should be ready to go up and be hosted in a few days time. It has been a long hard road and so disruptive and instructive all at the same time. My business partner and I knew there would be times like this. Indeed, this is one of those times where we are just coming down from a really high point caused mainly through the chaos and stress that the creative process has put us through. You see we are methodical process driven people who work through things and get stuff done in a planned and organised way and we drive through our workload without a problem when we get moving properly.

I hope that I'll be able to publish the web site this week before I go to Scotland that is.

Well it was 2 am

When I eventually got everyone home and then drove myself home. All was OK until a friend rang at 9 this morning. I needed that - Not!

Next week going to Scotland will be nice - apparently that is some event, it sounded a bit frightening to me. We get there around about lunchtime and the advice is - go to bed and get a few hours sleep then they go out and do many hours drinking and enjoying themselves. Then they get back in time to get a few hours sleep and have brunch! Then the real thing kicks off.

I feel my Liver giving way already. :-)

A quiet day today - it will all kick off again tomorrow when we get back to work....

Nitty Gritty

The web site getting launched is like pulling teeth, an absolute nightmare at the moment as it doesn't get any easier to finalise. It looks OK now but there are some areas that need improvement but the Designer/Developer is giving us a hard time over it. A bit of a shame really as you'd have expected that one review and changes would be included!

Anyway, I am sure that a "chat" on Monday will resolve that and we can at last put the site out there, live. There is so much work still to do but I managed to get the research polished off for the background of the Business Plan. A few more weeks and it will be Christmas and I will be working flat out getting letters and cards written. I hope to "encourage" all my friends to look at the website and also to fill in my questionnaire too so that I can have a file of evidence on what people want from what we are doing.

I am off out today, doing the driving for my friend and his son, as I did a year ago. It seems only fair as he is driving me to Scotland and back next week. I shall be abstaining from drinking which is no bad thing given that these guys will have their meeting, a nice meal and then they will repair to the Conservative Club and drink anything less than conservatively :-) At least I can run them home and then get back to my bed - last time it was 1:30 or 2 in the morning!

I don't even want to think what it will be like next week!