Returning to the subject of this blog

I guess that the pressure is off somewhat and that I'm taking a breather from medical problems for a while.

With the issuing of my 50th Birthday invitations this weekend I am looking forward to the birthday I thought that at one time I wouldn't have.

I'm looking forward to seeing the consultant on Tuesday and getting the definitive answer on what will happen next. Whether it is 6 or 3 BCGs and whether it is 3 or 6 months follow up regime.

It is going to be a case of - at least I'll know. Curiously enough that is one of the things that makes things worse - not knowing. If you know you can deal with it. You may not like it, it certainly hasn't been the words you'd want to hear but at least you know and at least you can plan your next moves.

So much hinges on this - like getting that holiday, like a job or getting something approaching a job, knowing when I can realistically start working at that job and stuff like that.

I know I'm doing bits now, have irons in the fire etc but you can tell when you talk to me that there is uncertainty in my voice and I hesitate to commit. My concern would be that I'll let the person down. After Tuesday, I hope to be able to get rid of that problem.

What else? I suppose I then need to get back to working on my fitness and losing weight more effectively. I'll probably lose a bit through the treatment this time. I need to be careful about the timings and any exercises I do. I'll cross those bridges when I come to them.