Alcohol Added Rant

It's nice once in a while, when having drunk a few beers, to attack one's blog with some sort of "under the influence" awakening.


Of course, it isn't the same as a "trip" and so can't mean anything either.


I realised tonight that I didn't spend the time I should doing the right thing for my family.  As I spoke to friends who now have young families I waxed lyrical about spending time with them.  I didn't but then, at this present time, the girls have a house that is paid for, the ability to fall back on money that we have put aside for them or that they have, to keep them at Uni, looking for a job, a flat etc.  My "guilt" is that I maybe should have spent time with them then rather than them having the opportunity now.  In other words, if I was having the opportunity to build the family foundations at the time they were born was it time well spent or not?


I don't know really?  At this present time, no one needs to find finance, it is sitting in the bank(s) ready to be used.  If I hadn't worked all over Europe for all those hours and grabbing those bonuses then perhaps I'd have seen the kids more when they were younger and yet if I hadn't have done that I'd have been out of a job there would have been no money and so on - we can go on that loop forever.


I don't know the answer but would you have sacrificed the now for the future or sacrificed the future for the now?   There is no easy answer to that - I just need to focus on the now - I actually think I missed out huge tracks of my daughter's lives through working really hard when they were young.  I think that just as you hit your peak in terms of career and climbing the greasy pole that everything arrives all at once.  There's a trade off that you make and mine was to secure my family's future and yet I think now that I'd have rather secured the opportunity to watch them grow up a bit more.  My children mean so much to me and now I regret that I secured their now rather than their then.