A little red wine in celebration

I thought I'd open up a bottle of wine I won a few years ago in 2010 to celebrate Steve's all clear today.  Unfortunately it tasted absolutely awful and I had to pour it away it will probably do a nice job of cleaning out the drain.  I hope Mrs. F. doesn't think I've necked the whole bottle.  Instead I've pulled out an Italian Veneto and that is rather nice, so now I can properly raise my glass to Steve's continued well being and that means he can take the whole summer off until September when he has another scope followed by 3 BCGs. 


I must ring up and arrange my CT Scan and I need to get to see my GP to get my Blood Pressure taken again as it was up at stratospheric levels last time I was there.  I might just delay that a little while whilst I bring my body under control with this diet and the exercises I'm gradually bringing in. I've been pretty good and only done short 5 and 10 minute bursts.  Just a few minutes on the vibration plate to do some squats and bends and then some wall pushes and also I do some 45% push ups using the bed rail to push against.


So far, so good.  I had a cheeky look at the scales earlier and I'm a good 3 or 4 pounds lighter than I was on Sunday so that's not bad but I'll probably properly check tomorrow sometime.   I'm now set fair with plenty of legumes and Mrs. F. also bought me some Fish and Red Kidney Beans for tomorrow so I'm happy about that.  I've been unable to touch my soups because they contain things like rice or milk products and all sorts of things I'm not allowed.  I can only have them on Saturday, my cheat day.  I've lined up some nice Stilton Cheese for Saturday and I need to top up on my Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese mixture too as I've missed that.  I generally had that every day but will now limit myself to just twice a week meaning I've got a smaller amount of Cottage Cheese than the big tub I normally get through.  Mind you, that's OK as is Flax Seed Oil, it is just the dried fruit and other stuff I used to have in it, including my Pro-biotic yoghurt that have had to be dropped.  It's all for a good cause and I'm hoping that I can get into real shape over the next month or two especially as I can build my exercises and the nights get lighter and perhaps I can get out of the house a bit more.


We are getting into the "end game" with the business and are now pursuing different funding avenues, it is where we thought we would end up and so we've spent a couple of hours on conference calls tonight to set strategy going forward.  I'm seriously reviewing what alternatives I may have should we fail as it is an ideal time to start thinking seriously about that.  It makes no sense for one day to find that the dream is ended and I've no Plans B, C & D to fall back on.


I've started by setting down my requirements for the future and looking at things differently.  I can now that health is a lot better and I can consider other options that may be more active and more assertive than the work at the Charity I did.  I'm not saying that the work wasn't active and assertive but it fitted my illness at the time and work and illness worked around each other quite well.  I think that travelling up to London and back each day would require a substantial incentive for me as would getting involved in anything as serious as I used to do unless I'm doing it for myself of course.  I still have the family history business in stasis I suppose and the Program Management business is also still active so either of those are possibilities.  


The holiday put me in a calm and peaceful place.  I wasn't there before I went, I was quite annoyed that no one got what we are doing, that the EU investment market is dead, that no matter what people might say about encouraging entrepreneurs, it is just lip service and most of the stuff that is spouted by politicians and industry heads is a pack of lies.  That's the disappointment with the whole thing.  In the US it is very different but what we are doing is very European to start with - how could it be anything other than that?  The US guys have plenty of people beating a path to their door so they don't need to come over here and see us and they don't tend to invest in services businesses.


So that was the annoyance and now I've gone past that because, it will be what it will be.  We will have worked it out of our system and whilst it will be a huge shame and disappointment, it won't be the only radical idea that never made it, there must be thousands of broken dreams crushed every week through the same reasons.  It isn't that they don't have merit or that they don't work it is just that their time isn't now and may never be.  That's just the way the cookie crumbles I'm afraid.  There's no need to get angry although perhaps you should and there's not a lot you can do about it so like the US Cops you just have to say "Nothing to see here, move along, get behind the line" :-)


Anyway, I haven't drunk my wine which I will do now, thinking of Steve and his great news and remembering that we are both clear, have both had some pretty traumatic times, some good and bad experiences and have worked our way from those very scary days away and up and beyond, taken control of our health and taken responsibility for recovering and maintaining our bodies as best we can.  


Cheers!