The Rut You're In

Is the deepest one to get out of supposedly.  I kind of agree with this and I've had one hell of a 6 year ride so far and it's still not all coming together and it still doesn't mean anything to me.  

I wonder if in fact it ever will resolve itself and I will become content with my lot?  I think that is it in some way.  I'm not entirely comfortable with who I am now, what survival means, what life now looks like and what the future holds.  It all sounds "mid life crisis" and I'd suggest that there is some of that there too.  

I have so much less in common nowadays than I used to and many of the things that interest me just don't cut it with Mrs. F. at all.  I can understand that entirely.  My interests haven't actually changed that much if at all (I don't think) but the situation we are in now is different.  Going out, getting a house, building that one up, repairing, second hand stuff, living off the garden produce, struggling to make ends meet and all that was great stuff, common interest and as you get older, make more money and move things change.  Then there were children and 22 years almost 23 now of that was also about doing you best for them all the time.

In reality things weren't great 7 years ago but I was pretty much bringing home the bacon (as they say) but I was ill, no doubt about that using good old hindsight.  But I was working away from home if I could and spent a lot of time working and that meant long hours and whilst that was OK at that time it isn't going to work now.  Not that I mind working long hours and being out and about but actually it isn't answering the question and is just prolonging the problem.

So what's the answer?  I'm buggered if I know even after all this time.  I'm just wondering still what to do about it and what strategies I can employ to resolve it.  In other news I've not heard back from 3 opportunities now and of course that is annoying but not unexpected.  I am planning to set myself a deadline.  If I don't hear back in a week or so (time to be set) I will invoke plan B.  Plan B being to then have a serious discussion about what I can do on my own and I'm holding off on my original plans only because of these potentials that have come about. It is just one of those things I suppose.