I've got to get a grip on this but the heat last night didn't help - I got my cooler / fan working and managed to wake up around 2 and just about get back to sleep but at 6 woke again, turned off the fan (it's quite noisy) and come down here for an hour or so waiting for the alarm.
My mind is full of stuff that I don't seem to be able to shift. Seeing my mum getting older and frailer and just the news in general, the prospect of financial turmoil on its way all seem to be pressing down on me and - I think I will have to do what I did some years ago and just move away from social media for a while or maybe only do the basic things on it.
I know and understand that I cannot change things overnight but I wish I could as it is very disruptive and disturbing. I tend to wake and be almost tearful I'd say and then within a short space of time I feel better and then I'm OK and then I feel bad again and press on through that.
Absolutely everything is "a problem" and yet it isn't really of course. So for now, I just need to chip away at this. Having a very hot room also doesn't help much either. In fact noting helps much but let me see what I can do about it. I understand where I am with it, I understand the irrationality of some of it, but not all of it.
I've had periods of my life like this before and I have got through those and so I need to do exactly that once again.
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