Not sure if that is right or not? It's a thing I have difficultly doing anyway but there's a good point here about you can learn from what's happened but you mustn't dwell on things that perhaps you regret. These things have happened and they are in the past and as much as you may regret decisions or outcomes, you cannot do anything now to change them. You can of course learn and move on.
Behind lies a path that's trodden and is now history, it contains many good and some not so good times but it's the past. They say your past can catch up to you and it felt a bit like that last night. I felt myself staring at one of the young ladies (but I probably wasn't) as she looked so familiar to someone I knew 35 or more years ago. It was a bit of a shock actually now I've had a chance to think about it.
Anyway, looking forward is the next thing and who can say what will happen and how things will pan out. I feel that I'd like to have a different type of life to what I have now. I want to spend free time doing pleasurable things and not having the one eyed god playing in the corner of the room. Then again, I'd enjoy that but would other people - is that their vision and what they want out of life? I fancy a place of fine wine, good sounds, nice food. good friends etc. That just doesn't happen - getting in from work all stressed out and the last thing you want to do is to chill out (that's not me talking).
The way forward isn't fully clear to me but there's some key components that I'd like to see and these include spending time actually enjoying the time off work and when we are in the same house. I've barely seen Mrs. F. for well over a week now and I admit it being a partial plan of mine to instil into both of us what it will be like for me to no longer be around once again like I used to be 10 years and more ago when I worked away and whilst that was happening, fed the family pretty well too. No it's more for me to evaluate what being alone might be like and also for Mrs. F. to be reminded of the past and what it used to be like before I became ill.
I'm not advocating playing away from home but I am saying that absence is helping me think things through. It's a bit annoying that I have to be at home tomorrow now as I really wanted to go to the History Society meeting in the Village. - I might sleep on that or hope that delivery arrives in the morning and I can get to go.
I'm now away from formulating strategies and into testing my hypothesis to see if it will fit.
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