Living with Depression

Once you've been there you can emphasise with those who are depressed or stuck in a rut.  Part of the rut I had (I know this isn't everyone's experience) was that I knew, knew for years, what I had to do.  I knew the answer to get me out of my malaise.  It was and is now blindingly obvious.  Nevertheless we don't take the Occam's Razor we procrastinate and try and work around what is the obvious (and possibly only) answer.  That's how we dig ourselves into a rut or paint ourselves into a corner. 

I like the phrase that we "stare so hard at the closed door that we miss the open one behind us"  I'm helping a good friend and it's exactly that.  To me it is "obvious" what to do but I'm on the outside looking in and I also know that it isn't my decision, they have to come to the answer on their own, all I can do is provide balanced (if possible) facts to work on.  

I recollect how difficult it was the incredible stress, the chest pains the throat constriction - I could hardly even talk when I finally had to deliver the news.  Within moments, it was over, it was SO painful I can't tell you.  I'd hurt the person I'd lived with for 32 or more years and had known for 40 years.  That was awful BUT - BUT after that I came alive and the pain was gone and the weights that dragged me down were gone, my head emptied and suddenly I was at peace with myself.  It was unfortunate that all my pain then descended onto Mrs. F.  I felt awful for doing that but then again, I could no longer live the way I was living I had all but come to a standstill and couldn't concentrate.  I couldn't go on like that and despite the fact that I had my eyes opened and was by then heavily into A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and I'd met someone who changed my outlook on life and suddenly made me aware of myself, the now and what could be.  Even that ending was positive.

So today I can really empathise with the struggle that is going on in my friend's head and despite the fact that I know that once that decision is taken (for I strongly believe that the decision was reached - like me - many years ago) the pain will fall away.  I can see now that it is easy for me to say what to do (like many people told me what to do).  The bottom line is that only the person whom the problem affects has the right to make that decision and take it for themselves, they have, after all, to be happy they did the right thing.

In the interim it is a series of circular discussions, going over the same ground, the same facts, the same consequences and the same potential outcomes but who knows what the future truly holds?  The decision is the the thing that is needed and then executing on that.  I am pleased that rather than getting "involved" that I can just act as a sounding board for them.  

I hope that they come to a decision quickly for their own health and to free them up.