It looks like

I'm the only one fully fit and healthy this weekend. Wife lying down in a darkened room with headache from hell, Oldest daughter suffering post exam relief and hay fever, youngest with a sniffy cold.

I'm feeling quite good about things at the moment. I have to go and see the Doc sometime next week to get sorted on BP tablets. Hopefully he will have the results from the Hospital and realise that on Monday week I start the BCG treatments. That will screw any blood results badly as the BCG whips you blood into a frenzy and gets your immune system able to repel speeding bullets, see through people's clothing and all other stuff that Clark Kent can do! It is pretty cool stuff :-)

Calm Down

I have calmed down now. It really has been a pleasing week all things considered. I met up with some very good buddies tonight and we had a curry and a few beers (as you do).

We are still quite a way off the anniversary of my original symptoms but as someone commented tonight - it had been a pretty bad year up until this week. I managed to catch every bit of bad luck going. Well, let us all hope that things get better from now on!

A long weekend off and then I need to hit next week running. Lots to do and fit in. Life is going to get hectic and exciting all in one go.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Got the job, got the job, got the job,

Got the jo - ob, got the job,

Got the job, got the job, got the job,

Got the job, got the jo - ob


Yippee, yee-haa, great, stupendous, brill, fantastic, superb, wonderful (NO I am not using AWESOME) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and so on.

Adjectives to the power of 10!!!

By the way - I am reasonably pleased with myself.

At last a chance to go for it without let or hindrance....

Sorry - how very un British of me, Ahem.

Well I got the job -


......................Obviously.....................

YEAH!

Pulling stuff apart

Nothing I like better than doing that. Some of the contractual stuff just doesn't figure - I think someone has had a go at a few of the clauses and one of them means absolutely nothing. I think someone has edited it and not re-read it.

Like many documents of this nature it is written by someone with knowledge of the law but not real knowledge of the job and so it doesn't really fit. Then, when someone queries it, a non knowledgeable person adjusts it which can result in hilarious consequences. Some of these include, in this case, terminating the contract for cause, without cause, with one week or perhaps one month and given due notice or not as the case may be? So someone hasn't looked at a previous clause before adding or amending another one. It should make for an interesting discussion later today.

Oh yes and there are some other anal bits in it too.

Up and about early

I'm going to get involved in the teleconferences today and then meet the CEO and talk turkey on the job and the opportunity.

I'm going to give myself the summer to get this done and if it isn't to be then I am going to set myself a new direction and follow that. The pressure is off and I really needed that. It isn't about the money, it is about what I want to do now and the money supports me whilst I come to that decision, plan and go down that route.

The strange thing about cancer is that it changes you in more ways than one and it does mean that you question things. The meeting I had yesterday was very much one of those meetings I'd rather never have for the rest of my life. Why it couldn't be done over the phone or to have been resolved by now, I don't know.

So - there we are - an interesting day ahead, a Bank Holiday weekend (with forecast rain - typical) and perhaps a new start next week or the week after that - who knows.

I must be pretty slow

It is taking an age to sink in still.

I was up in London today and at Kings Cross Station - it was fun to see over near to platform 10 there is a sign showing platform 9 3/4 with a trolley embedded into the wall - nice one Harry! That has nothing to do with this blog I just thought I'd stick that sort of comment randomly in here!

I have to say that Critical Illness Insurance is one of my better decisions. I don't make many of those so I'll claim that one.

I think I will sleep on this now and see what pops into my brain tomorrow

Pinch pinch pinch

No it won't go in that the prognosis is good, I have a job and the insurance has paid out.

The trouble with playing everything in a pessimistic way is that the delight (perhaps the wrong word) that I should feel I don't.

However the more I have thought about it, the more I am pleased that I can support my family now. I was really worried that maybe I couldn't do that 6 months ago.

I'm allowing myself a little

yippee

Serious

I don't think I realised how seriously ill I was until perhaps last September when my Consultant explained in more detail what I had, why I needed to go back into Hospital again and how near we were to having something even more serious on our hands - like radical surgery. Even then, for me, these things didn't sink in that much. Even now I am still prone to forget to be careful or dismiss it. I often get told that I shouldn't trivialise my condition but I perhaps deal with it in that way to keep my control on things.

I looked at bladder cancer as something like appendicitis, you have it, they whip it out and give you antibiotics, follow up a couple of times and discharge you. Of course it isn't like that at all. Bladder Cancer just comes back and can keep coming back and that is why it is so well followed up and why you go on a rigorous regime.

So today, I pulled out the details from my Insurance Policy:

Cancer - is described and the description given fits what I had to start with a malignant tumour

What has been bringing things home to roost for me are that the policy covers:

• Coronary Artery By-Pass Surgery
• Heart Attack
• Kidney Failure
• Major Organ Transplant
• Multiple Sclerosis
• Permanent total disability
• AIDS/HIV
• Alzheimer's before age of 65
• Angioplasty
• Aorta Graft Surgery
• Aplastic Anaemia
• Bacterial Meningitis
• Benign Brain Tumour
• Blindness
• Coma
• CJD
• Deafness (full)
• Heart Valve Replacement or Repair
• Liver Failure
• Loss of independent Existence
• Loss of Speech
• Motor Neurone Disease
• Paralysis. Paraplegia
• Parkinson's Disease before age 65
• Terminal Illness
• Third Degree Burns
• Permanent Total Disability (Can no longer work)

There are some conditions attached to those but good grief - I wouldn't like to have any of those and yet I am lumped together in the same category - yeeks. Perhaps now I'll respect what I have a bit more?

Good things tend to happen to me in May

But only in May - the new job last year and this, the news on my cancer free condition and this morning, and I am still staggering around on this one. The Insurance phoned and they will pay out.

I don't know what I feel but the predominant feeling has to be one of relief. It has taken 7 1/2 months to get this far and I suppose that now we are finally going to get that paid out I can relax even more and concentrate fully on my new job, getting fit and staying well.

I am glad now that I took out this insurance - but then hindsight always has been one of my strongest character traits :-)

PHEW!

The Job

Well it looks like I will take the slightly riskier job. Nothing ventured and all that. I've seen the people, I've partly seen the service, the numbers look good and if it takes off it will be great. If it doesn't, well at least I will have given it my best shot!

They seem cool about the fact that I am not going to be able to do too much with the treatments but I can still work online and use a phone except for Monday afternoons and evenings when frankly I won't want to do too much except lying around.

So - on Friday the CEO is coming here on his way through and we will talk turkey. Early in June I'll be off and about on a training session and the launch party is in mid June.

Oh dear oh dear

I have just been out with a friend and I feel absolutely dreadful - I managed to squeeze down a fruit juice followed by a beer but when I had the second beer I thought that I might see it again :-( SO I quit and came home - I think I will now go and have a lie down.

I know - you have no sympathy for me whatsoever and I should know better but exceptional circumstances!

Right where is the hangover pack.....

Slow Old Day

Oh dear - well I haven't done that sort of drinking for a while and I ought not to do that for some time again either :-)

I have a feeling today is going to go very slowly for me. I also do not expect to get a lot done

Ouch

Only myself to blame. Good friends or not - too much drink gives you a headache no matter what you do.

It also makes you sentimental and write drivel. Must make a note not to drink as much next time.

As with all notes offering this sort of advice - they mysteriously disappear when you need them! Along with socks, IOUs and other important material - these things must inherit a life of their own. You never do find them.

OUCH

I have no sympathy for myself - who would have thought celebrating my improved condition would give me such a headache :-)

The previous blog

That is how a blog should be - totally spontaneous and not worrying about grammar and syntax!



I am just amazed that I survived and so thankful for the support I have received from my friends.



Cancer beats your friends up more than you would believe. I don't like the idea that I've hurt other people though :-(

A Tribute to my school friends

Tonight I went out with my old school buddies.

We have known each other since we were 10 years old!

Tonight we celebrated - my recovery and our friendship.

How I value that friendship - how I value the spark to write this blog.

How I now value each magic moment and how my life has a new focus.

What value can you put on those who will tell you that you are being an "arse" speaking out of the same place or just missing the whole point?

Thank God for all my friends - how have they helped me through this?

Friends - YES - friends - they will help you through the path you have to travel. Tell them to tell you exactly what they see and exactly what you should do. You don't have to agree with them too :-)

Believe me - your friends will be there for you. You are also forgiven if you are not there for them - whilst they are there for you?

What am I worried about

I am a bit of a big head sometimes and I am the worst (as this blog proves) of being MR POSITIVE! Yet today, I went to this meeting and frankly no one else was in my league - I wiped the floor with most of them.

It is to do with my personality type and also my "inner" self belief but this stuff was so easy today and it must be my experience when compared against the others which makes me ask the right questions.

Anyway - it went really well today - should I take a chance? Well, after having survived this last ten months what do you think?


What have I got to lose?

Slight doubts

About my fitness and stamina to get back to work and do what may be needed on this particular opportunity. There is a lot of organising (no problems that is what I do) but also a fair amount of travelling about too. The 4 meetings a day culture are fine but the area to be covered is massive and on some of the most congested roads on the planet.

The first 3 months are the hardest in terms of throughput and workload, the next three months in terms of being on the road, after 6 months things look a little easier.

Whilst I am far fitter than I was ten months ago, I'm not certain that I have had to sustain the sort of effort I will need in this job.

Interesting day to come

I'll be off to London to work through this job opportunity or perhaps it would be better phrased as a business opportunity really.

The business case and the technology all appear to be in order, there are a few anomalies in the basic costing model to be reviewed and some questions about the company structuring that need to be ironed out but in general terms this thing could fly. It will be my luck that it is about to fly when I'm having my treatment.

Mind you, I'm no longer that worried about that sort of thing as frankly not a lot matters these days or perhaps things have a different level of importance and a different value structure.

Two weeks today

And the BCG starts again. It isn't so bad this time - I know what to expect and I know how to deal with the side effects and this time we are starting with a downgraded staging. Knowing what it did to the CIS, it should really work to keep it away this time.

At least I'll be clear of the treatments before my birthday party - not unfortunately on my birthday but there you go. I'll then have the summer off to at last get some holiday time in.

I'm still concerned that this job - the risky one - will really need full time attention for the first three months and I may not be able to give it that - 6 weeks at three days a week and needing some holidays too. I'll be seeing them tomorrow and will see what comes of that meeting.

Not enough hours in the day

There certainly aren't enough hours left in the day this coming week now. I have just updated my calendar and apart from Monday - every day looks like I am out. I have some work for Thursday which will lead to a few more days worth I'm sure. I have another meeting in London on Tuesday, I'm out Tuesday night and Wednesday lunch time and it also looks like I'm out Friday night too!

I've called off a few things that I need to do and yet this week is now busy as you like. I've also got a major piece of work I should have finished but haven't had a clear run at that I must fit in somehow. I need to plan that later today.

And - yes it is late, It is 1 in the morning and somehow I have got to get to sleep. I have even started drinking decaf coffee so that I can but for some reason - I'm still awake and firing on most cylinders!

I'm hoping that this week sees the end of some outstanding issues and that I can draw a line under that as well. If that is the case then I can move on with my mind focusing on what it needs to do and not to be worried about any outstanding issues. By later this week that will either have resolved itself or will have thrown up some other problems. The insurance claim is I believe borderline and so that is the problem. It is one of those things you don't even want to think about and another thing that is on your mind and given that it has taken since October to get to this point you can probably see the concerns. I think that the forms sat in the "system" for much of that time and I've said it before, that had my family been facing some sort of crisis or had I been terminally ill then it would be difficult to explain why it had taken 7 months to process the paperwork. As it is, I don't think the Insurance Company could have done much more and I wasn't in a mind to push them.

Anyway - this week will mark that milestone.