Slowly and surely I am beginning to take in the news and I'm still not sure. I actually feel quite drained this evening. I've spent a few hours just sitting outside in the garden in the dark and thinking things through and sitting quietly.
I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get on with some of the stuff I've been thinking about and some of the plans I've been cooking up whilst I have been undergoing treatment. I'm not certain that everything will come off though.
As I've been away from everyone, I've allowed myself a few tears tonight - not too many - just enough to relieve the system . Tomorrow I have to meet lots of people and I'm not absolutely sure how I am going to handle things. Some know others don't. It is all becoming more powerful emotionally than I thought it would and it is building slowly. I still don't see the leaping down the road Hollywood finale materialising but perhaps a quieter personal and private version -maybe?
Too much thinking going on for a Saturday night - obviously.
[Goodness - for the first time on the whole blog I've spelt "beginning" properly - I don't know what that means but it is a milestone of sorts]
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