In my dreams

I was having an interesting talk this evening and I realised that no one understands a word about what I say about my new business - it is so "off the wall" that explaining it must be like explaining radio or TV or Morse code or Steam Engines for the first time. Such is the problem that our little band of pioneers have taken on. How did Baird decide to call it "Television" or Marconi "Radio" or Edison "Phonograph" - gee I hope that was right :-)

See what I mean - how would you come up with stuff that was just - way out there - far left field - so different you;d think we were on hallucinogenic drugs! (I can't believe how difficult it was to spell that - you'd have to be on drugs to do that!).

We are working on something that is so different to anything out there but isn't impossible to deliver now - it is all existing technology. It just comes at it from such a different way that to explain it to people is almost impossible. We have a meeting in the morning to rectify that - but it is just so revolutionary and so simple you wonder why no one thought of it before? They may have done but there is no common language (yet) to release it to the public.

Things are really exciting as I described my plans to my mother today as being as close to engendering positive social change as I could manage. I suggested that the journey in itself was going to be the thing that changed my life and made survival important - in fact that this current journey I am on would be something that would define the remainder of my life (however long that may prove to be). By that I mean that the process of this current journey will not only deliver something that is truly beneficial to society but that getting to that point will be such a journey that we will find out so much more about ourselves and will test us to the extreme. I feel that there are a series of temptations in the way not least of which is bailing out early, before our work is seen through as it is the alternative and easy way out. It means we take the cash but don't see the vision through to its conclusion. So many interesting things in a highly commercial venture which actually has life changing possibilities and altruistic guiding principles at its heart.

My business partner and I had similar traumas at around the same time and our relationship - whilst going back many years prior to this - has blossomed and we used to meet to discuss how we were feeling and coping with our issues and as time went on this idea (not mine but his) grew and grew to the point now where it has taken over a huge part op our lives. It is almost like something you have to go through to get on further - if that makes sense? We have to go down this route.

Tomorrow we see if we can settle the real selling words and actually determine some new language about what we stand for and what we will do. So far, it is our biggest sticking point. Later on we will meet the person who may become our Lawyer (wish I was clever enough to be one) who will be chatting about protecting our arses in the future.

Suddenly, I feel divorced from my non-business friends who see but don't get the risks and who really don't get business at all. We may well fail - so many young fledgling businesses do but, we will have given it our all and will have filled in the gaps and repaired the holes in our self-esteem that cancer will have given us. I think it may be interesting if anyone works for us though - how on earth are they going to "get us" if they haven't had the trauma and experiences we have had in getting where we wanted to go?