In a strange place

I have put on a few pounds this week I can feel it and 6 out of 7 days I've been eating and drinking and I'm beginning to consider some radical changes for next year to diet and lifestyle. Of course, not a lot is happening at the moment as we await the outcome of deliberations by potential investors. It is a bit of a waiting game I suppose and in reality they've only had these things 5 or 6 working days at the most. It feels like forever...

Now - this strange place I'm in. It is a bit bothersome - I spoke to mum this morning and I can't really get up and see her before Christmas as I'm hanging about for these investors and manning the office. L arrives back from Uni tomorrow or Wednesday, A has finished her Uni but is working hard on her Dissertation and Mrs. F. is working until the 23rd December. Me - I've the odd meeting here and there and suddenly we've found that tonight is the last Lodge of Instruction we will have as they won't be open next week to house us. That was a bit of a shock but there you go, we will have to live with it I guess.

Then there is this huge effort gap between working for 18 months flat out and now stopping, it's very strange indeed. I'm working at keeping busy so maybe I can make some time here to go see my folks and yet I'd rather all of us go if we can - I want the girls to see their Granddad before we get to call time on that and he decides that he doesn't want them to see him. My Grandfather did that to us when I was about 19 or 20 I think. I used to try and go and see him in Hospital when I was up in London - the frustration he had as he could not talk (he had a tracheotomy) and whilst he could form words often we had to turn back to pen and paper. I enjoyed seeing him but realise that towards the end he wouldn't have wanted us to see him as ill as he was. I do only remember him as the fun (slightly stern) man and have a great deal of affection for him and my Nan of course. I was lucky that they were around for my childhood - some kids don't get that.

I've been having some pretty horrible dreams of late too - a particularly strange one where my younger brother predeceased me and my dad! Was not a nice thing to wake up with neither have the rest been. Other stuff has centred - not surprisingly - around work and how the business would be built, then the geographically incorrect London dream - which repeats every now and then and takes me to familiar places by unfamiliar means. Utterly bizarre stuff I know but a little disturbing and not helping things.

I've just tried to get hold of the Hospital to see where my appointment has got to. Hopefully that won't get too far away and I can get my Flexible Scope examination (I know - you can't imagine anyone would look forward to it but there is a need to know all is OK (or not) surely?)

Anyway - just a "Small Disturbance in the Force" as the Jedi would say :-) I really do want to make some serious changes though - ones that will allow me to get my stamina and strength back, lose some weight, become fitter and to eat healthier etc. Not much to ask but I have the perfect New Year's Resolution :-)