Amazing how you can get annoyed with yourself

I find it that way and I get very upset with myself and annoyed especially if I've done all the right things etc but I must also remember that, like it or not, I have a check up this Friday to see how I am.  I forget that I was seriously ill not so long ago and I give myself a hard time for all sorts of reasons and I'm certain that I'm not the greatest person to be around at the moment even if I don't think I'm sending off bad vibes I probably am :-)  I'm also annoyed that I've got to and get a blood check now.  It's a pain to get that done - the hospital has huge queues and I think that I'll just take the flack from the doctor - they also want me to have my BP taken - perhaps I'll go get that done - I'll see if I can arrange that near to the point where they need to re-do my prescription.   In reality I'd like to work on a course of diet and exercise that means I can kick these damn medications into touch altogether - I can't see how shoving chemicals into your body should be able to beat some sort of natural remedy.


My dad needs to have a few more checks later this week as he is marginally diabetic - brought about by his Pancreatic Cancer no doubt.  I'm pleased to say he is still here - given that he was told he had 6 months about 5 months ago.  I've set the scene for my mum and dad that Mrs. F. and I are planning to go on holiday and will book that up in the next day or so.  We haven't been for some time and I think I am displaying signs of needing a break for a while.  I certainly would like to get away for a short while.  


I'm working on how I can now move my diet and ratch it up a notch.  I am drinking a quart of vegetable juice a day and a quart of water now and I am having my FOCC in the morning.  I wonder whether to drop out eating too much at lunch time and in the evening.  I intend to also see if I can get myself out of the routine I am in at the moment and start to get to bed on time and sleep properly.