Not Just Me

It is an interesting thing that my co-founder of the business is likewise feeling "very strange".  It's not surprising really; we wanted to move on the idea and make a difference in people's lives and our objectives can only be achieved now if we can raise significant finance.  That isn't about to happen any time soon in many ways because the will and the money isn't around.  It's actually the right time to invest but the markets are so badly affected that many are like wounded animals - some fatally so we think as their returns are abysmal. 


We fluctuate in what we want to do and being employed and self-employed and working for someone other than ourselves again.  It's pretty hard to go into a place where you've got such wide ranging skills and experiences and just be one of the team.  It is going to be a difficult transition.  


We have worked out what we need to do now and have some dates in mind to resolve the last few outstanding things before we get ourselves to switch off the various switches and turn off the lights.  We will be leaving a night light on - just in case but we are also resolved to that being the end of it and whilst it may be able to be rejuvenated later - we cannot base our future on "ifs, and what and buts" so need to move on.  Many people think we are barking mad but that's because they couldn't commit to the journey we have made either financially or indeed intellectually and so we spend a lot of time reassuring people other than ourselves of our reasoning and decisions - strange old world - like cancer - I spent more time re-assuring other people that I'd be all right than worrying if I WAS going to be all right!


I'm happier (a bit) than I was earlier but know that I'll be in and out of this for some time yet.  Difficult times ahead but then its not as if it is life threatening or anything like that - one of the things I need to have learnt from having cancer is that whatever else I feel may be important like this really isn't as important as having your health and the ability to enjoy it.  Millions of people are far worse off than me and I just need to remind myself occasionally that things aren't that bad at all.  I'm still here and I'm well.