What to do?

It is getting to the point now where I've started to get into some detail about what to do next.  It is quite incredible that even after all the effort of the past 2 years I don't feel bad about it.  I am though wondering why I shouldn't use these skills to take on a more serious job but that's the trouble I haven't got the inclination to go and join the rat race again and feel that I'd probably not fit in too well.  I'd probably be able to go back to doing my jobbing project and program management work again as long as it isn't in London and I don't have to commute each day.  I don't think I'd mind being abroad for short periods either but again I'm weighing each of these options up.


It is quite a messy argument going on about whether it is better to take a local low paid job, sell up and go do something else or go back on to the hamster wheel....  My mind maps and spreadsheets grow as I wrestle with the options, the pros and the cons and the ups and the downs.  


It's a funny thing that half way through the day I suddenly remembered that I'd been ill and that I ought to place a risk into my thinking about what would happen if I got ill again.  That's pretty negative but I suppose I need to consider that especially as Bladder Cancer can come back and bite you when you least expect it so there's a new bit in my calculations that perhaps wonders whether stress and the bad habits you get into would add to that worry and increase the chances.  


You can't mitigate for every eventuality but you do need a Plan B and Plan C in case something like this occurs.  I see more of this sort of analysis going on in future...