Excited maybe

I'm looking forward to meeting up tomorrow with these guys from my old company which has now transformed a fair bit since I was last there.  It's an interesting time going back to where I was quite happy albeit where I also had some insight into what was coming down the line.  It's one of those jobs where they get you in for your experience and background and for your strong management skills and then don't actually listen to you properly or consciously ignore your advice.

That said, I departed on good terms and did a fair amount of work but it appears that the work I did do wasn't implemented or perhaps because not one of the original team remain, it has gotten lost in the system and is gathering dust on some hard drive somewhere.  This is an opportunity to resurrect that work and to get involved again with them.

I'm certain that it will be a good discussion anyway as I know exactly what problems these guys will be having which was why I was brought into the business in the first place and then, having got there, I got bladder cancer.  Unbelievably that was 6 years ago!  By the time I was back to working again I was a bit of a mess and had lost my confidence and had lost control of my place on the greasy pole that was the "politics" of the job.  It appears though that the new management and owners have put in some sensible people and that they now have a stable organisation that needs some decent people back into build it.  I sense an opportunity to get back to what I really enjoyed and what I did really well and I always did describe it as my dream job as I was able to bring all my experience to bear.  Sounds familiar to an earlier post about what to do next?  It sure does.

Strange how the disappointment from one situation led to me asking a question which led back to a position that I was in 6 years ago.  Life can be pretty surreal sometimes.. 

Fine line between happiness and being down

I pulled a blog earlier on this week as it was very glum and downbeat and was full of doubt and was one of those written in the depths of feeling very down and at that point where you don't see a way out and you feel that everything is stacked against you.

Today I'm totally on the other end of the scale, I'm going to be talking to some people whom I can make a huge difference to their business and I'll be able to re-do (by the sounds of it) the stuff I originally started to do for them.  That will be a challenge but a good one.

Of course this too could go wrong but let's see what happens.  I have the opportunity to have a good discussion with them tomorrow and see where we go from there.  

This is typical of the swings of mood I get (or have had since Bladder Cancer) and it's just one of the things I have to deal with constantly.  At least this time, I know the people, understand the problems they have and know how to deal with it.  

Good a meeting on Friday

It's going to be a bit bizarre if you think about it.  In May 2006 I got the job I'd always wanted in a company that I'd always wanted to work for and then a month or two later - BANG - along came Mr. Bladder Cancer to knock the wind out of my sails and ultimately it, together with some people who I did warn had over-estimated the business pipeline, served to make me redundant.  It was an obvious thing to do and I held no grudge about it as it did mean that others kept their jobs - you may have to look at blogs from January 2007 onwards to see this.  

Well, it looks as if things have turned around fully and I find myself back in discussions with them once again and having the same conversations I had in April 2006 about how the products and the services could be improved.  This will be interesting as I did a hell of a lot of work on this at the time and it appears that the problems we discussed then are now coming home to roost as the business picks up.  Unfortunately of those who used to be there that I know of, many are abroad, retired and one superb chap died of Brain tumour - so sad, he was a remarkable person.  Others have set up other businesses and so I'm probably one of the only people left around who has the background to do this.  

It's funny how stuff like this comes around as I was pretty upset, if I'm being frank here, about the awful way my application was dealt with for the other job, especially given who they were and their supposed professionalism.  This came about from a flippant email I sent which just asked whether they were interested in discussing me getting involved again - they did say they were but not much had happened so I thought I'd ask the question.  

Nice to see I've got an interview / meeting on Friday and managed to get middle of the day to miss the Olympic rush.  At least I'll see if there is anything concrete in this.  It would be good if there was as I enjoyed the challenge last time and it was mainly my illness that stopped things happening and me not being able to identify some of the silly stuff that was going on whilst I was away from the office.

I delivered my urine sample to the Hospital and had a look in to the blood samples area but it was hot and full of people so I decided I can do that another day and had a few coffees with Flocky Bicep which was, as always, quite pleasant.  It makes my mum laugh as she thinks I am going out for "Girlie Coffees".  I suppose that is quite a strange thing to do to many older people.

DInk - the game changes once again

I thought this morning, what the hell, I'll just fire off a speculative email about a job that someone suggested to me a month or two back that I thought had gone.  It's part time, it pays reasonably well and it is something I enjoy doing.  I got an email straight back and a meeting on Friday.  The trouble was that I was expecting the plasterer on Thursday and Friday but he luckily cannot attend until next week which means that I can have the chat on Friday after all.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained so to speak.  I know that there will be bits of the job I won't like but, if it is anything like I used to have, there was enough flexibility to arrange suitable meeting dates, ability to work from home and many other things.  In fact, it was my dream job, the one I had when I got Bladder Cancer.  Except that this time, I can probably do part time, freelance work which will suit them and me.

So that pleased me and frightened me all at the same time.  I imagine Friday will be a bit hectic up in town but I've suggested late morning which will keep me away from the crush.

I'm meeting up with Flocky tomorrow for a coffee and will go via the Hospital to drop in a urine sample and if the Phlebotomy department is open and there are no queues I shall have my bloods done at the same time.  Mind you, only if there is time - at least I'm not on a fasting one which is a pain in the backside as you have to wait ages for a test first thing in the morning.   Last time I did one I got in trouble for overdoing the fasting - so I complained about the amount of time you have to spend waiting around.  It's easier to starve and go in lunchtime but it doesn't appear to do much good for your results which needed re-doing.

Anyhow, things look a little interesting with this possibility on the horizon.  Looks like the bathroom may not be under way this week which is sort of OK excepting that L returns from holidays and so next week will be "interesting" as she is also bringing back a dog to stay for a while.  When I say dog, it is a Rottweiler which fits large mammal in my book.  I don't like dogs, or cats for that matter and so I'm keeping well out of the way.

Square One

It's a strange thing but I'm right back to the beginning again.  I wasn't successful in the job I went for but you tend to know when it wasn't a "real" job as the reply was disrespectful and they obviously hadn't read through the CV etc. properly as they hadn't referenced it (like you would).

That's now brought me back to where I was before and that's hating the idea of working for anyone other than myself ever again.  I just find that the people you have to deal with are sh1t and no one really deals with people in a nice way any more.  

The trouble is that I'm dithering about what to do.  There's lots of fanciful ideas and the chance to go do something that's more "lifestyle" than working like a "slave".  I need to consider the options or should I say reconsider them as I did start off doing this and got distracted by the possibility of a job elsewhere.  That has soured my outlook or in reality just brought it back to me how much I abhor working for people who don't really care about you.  

Doing some work

I sorted out the downstairs WC door lock - it's been needed to be sorted for a couple of years.  I took me a little while as it was slightly larger than the old imperial one that was fitted and I also needed to do one for the bathroom I'm refurbishing.  I'm going to wait until the room is almost finished though and I might need to remove the door to take off a little to get over the new tiles I'm putting in.

So that's the morning sorted and I'm trying to work out whether there's anything left I can do before I get the nod from the plasterer.  Then, and only then, can I get cracking and take out the bath/shower, WC and Basin and cap off the services.  

Goodness me

Well - another crazy day at the Olympics and more to cheer again today.  


Not for me though, I'm getting quite tetchy and somewhat annoyed with explaining why - if I'm renovating the bathroom I need to take everything out to allow the Plasterer to do his thing and that will take 2 days.  It will mean that they wont have a shower/bath available for around 5 days (I reckon) as I need to put in a new floor and that needs to settle and dry and then put in the bath.  Even then it wont have tiles sorted out either.  I suppose these days people are used to things just happening.  The best bit was asking me to delay it which is impossible as it's taken me months to arrange the plasterer and everything revolves around his commitments not mine.


The trouble is that I'm getting annoyed by all this and perhaps I just ought to rise above it but certainly I seem to be having a sense of humour failure - not sure if that is about not getting the job (or even an interview) or maybe it is the upcoming scope.  Maybe it is something else.  I pulled a blog post last night about how I'm feeling and it's not a great place.  

What a Day

The Olympics - what a day - 6 Golds but what an advert for the UK and London.  I don't think I've felt quite so emotional as watching today's athletes.  Mind you I do hate this sticking microphones under people's noses when they haven't performed well or asking crass questions.  

However, it has been a brilliant success so far and it promises to get better tomorrow too.  Yes we ought to be rightly proud of the achievements and it is just great to see things coming together.  Let's hope the rest of the world thinks that the games really are excellent.  I have to say the "style" and "design" must be admired alongside the volunteers.


So good was the opening ceremony that I ordered the CD today - it hasn't got all the tunes on but it has the tunes by Underworld and others....


Very pleased with the Games so far...

I know what it is

It is disrespectful to send out a standard letter that doesn't even have your name on it or referencing the effort made and so on.  I wouldn't do it and I find it disrespectful that someone else considers this is acceptable.


I've now received all the materials I need now to do the bathroom so I'm double checking my lists and materials and making sure that everything is in order for me to start.  

That Figures then

Got a non committal response to the job application a thanks but no thanks one and it sort of suggests to me that once again it was a bit of a fix up but they had to go through the process.   I sort of guessed that it might be so and that is fine as it will allow me to get on and do some more stuff now.  I can at least get on with home improvements without worrying about whether the job comes along or not and I also got my appointment through for the end of August, a nice early 9 am appointment which is great for me.


I'm beginning to address other issues too including whether I want to continue working on my own business or do something else and if I do, what I'd do for a living.  I know my price now (or the one that I was happy to settle for for the last job).  I wonder then if I can work out a way of moving on that.  I'm not completely settled on what I want to do though as I can't seem to work out what is going on here at present.  By that I mean that with Mrs. F. and A working full time it sort of puts some pressure on (whether perceived or otherwise) and Monday to Friday around here is pretty miserable - sure I'll have 2 weeks work ahead of me to do the bathroom and that will be nice but at the same time it's the "we're tired, we've been out to work" shit that I find annoying.  I mean for most of their lives what the hell was I doing?  No one wants to talk and I'm getting the arsey answers to standard questions.  However, knowing how precise I like to be I do correct the answer.  Here's one.  I go to find the family calendar.  It isn't there.  "Where is the calendar?" I then listen to 5 minutes of bollocks about why it isn't there, how something has happened and eventually I find out that it is in the living room.  So I gently suggest that the original question was where is the calendar? And that the answer is, in the living room.  It's simple really.  However, every question, every courtesy query (how are you) is met with a story so long that isn't even on subject that it is beginning to really piss me off.


I find this level of drivel pretty difficult to live with.  I ask a question about something and I get an answer about whether I want the car tomorrow????  WHAT?  I only asked whether I could phone up the local builders merchant and how had they found them.  This sort of obfuscation really doesn't suit my temperament at all well.  The problem is that it just makes me worse and I can play this game until the cows come home.  However, I've tried on two no make that three occasions tonight to sort this out and no one has the will to do it.  When they want to get bloody minded, they do.  It's a full moon so maybe that's it?  It's like another simple thing - I need to get some ironmongery sorted out for the doors and you'd have thought I was going to demolish the house and re-build it.  It really is simple - what door handle do you like?  By the time we'd finished we'd discussed everything but the bloody door handle.  


Anyway - a bad night and we are out tomorrow so I just hope that things get a little better.  I need to finish off my ordering and get the wood from the merchants (No I don't need a car to make a telephone call!!!!!) and just get it sorted.  At least I know what I am doing this next few weeks.

You have to laugh

It's a strange thing.  For 7 years we've been told that the Olympic games would cause travel chaos and that we should stay away from London.  Businesses have heeded the warning of impending Armageddon and have allowed staff to work from home.  Anyone with any sense has heeded the dire warnings and gone away on holiday or taken holiday and with all the warnings of travel chaos people are staying away.  


Now, after a few days, London is like a ghost town (they'd have us believe) and unsurprisingly most of the tourists are at the Olympic venues and not in Oxford Street spending their cash.  Hotels haven't sold enough rooms as business trips are down.  So apparently businesses that rely on workers and also for tourists are suffering - amazing considering they've only had a few days of Olympic trading :-)  You can't make it up can you?  


And another thing - the news.  It appears that for 2 weeks every 4 years, nothing happens in the rest of the world.  So after being maxed out with 4 hours of Olympics, the news comes on and they - repeat word for word the closing phrases of the Olympics.  they then do 20 minutes of, yes, you've guessed it, Olympics and then the rest of the world's news is crammed into the next 5 minutes..... :-)  It is a joke.


On the personal front I have to say I'm struggling with stuff at the moment - I'd like to get going with the bathroom to get some attention on a project.  Without a job I'm still considering my options, still no news from the job I've applied for - almost 2 weeks now.  I've spoken about another project I could get on and do in the interim, that's a possible but I'm just struggling with what to do next.  

Stuff Arriving

For my bathroom project.  The flexible pipes have arrived this morning and I have all the taps, bath, shower kit, WC and basin etc.  I have yet to build the units but I will do that when the Plasterer is here which will give me something to concentrate on.  I have a lot of work to do as the bathroom wasn't really installed to a high quality and has leaked regularly and I've only been able to patch it up in the past.  The floor needs fixing down, the whole room needs plastering and the ceiling needs redoing too.  


It's been a few years since I tackled a bathroom but I used to do these for people in a weekend as a job on top of my day job.  As an electrician I was trained in plumbing and carpentry and strangely enough you pick up lots of tips and tricks with other tradesmen on site.  I'm looking forward to getting stuck into it though and the tiles, bathroom furniture etc look great as separates and I reckon it will look great when finished.


I've had to splash out on some tools to do the job as I've no idea where my old ones have got to.    I've probably lent them to someone and never got them back or they just never made it to this house from the old one.  Whatever, I have new tools to do the job and I'm glad that I'll have the right tools to do it as trying to force the wrong tool to do the job would just mess things up.  SO I have a nice tile cutter and a circular saw for the work I need to do to the worktops and cupboards.

Where's my appointment?

The sort of thing that only I could think about as I walked back from my meeting earlier.  Where is my next appointment for my flexible cystoscopy check?  I'm sure it should have been in July although I had the CT Scan a little later (I can't remember when).  I suppose if I've not heard soon I ought to chase that up.  Not that it is the sort of thing you'd actually want to go and do regularly but needs must, I need them for the rest of my life but I suppose that it isn't so bad a thing that I'm being checked up like this and regularly so that, in case there is a recurrence, they can sort it out pronto.


I realise that I'm back into a bit of a low again.  Not surprising I suppose after all the happenings of the past month or more.  Life is sort of settled but I'm still not sure what I want to do with myself.  The job I've gone for has all gone quiet.  The thing I was doing at lunch time really needs some other people to do the hard bit - talking to people on the phone which I do find difficult in certain circumstances.  


Jazz night tomorrow - first one for a while and a chance to wind down.  I'll probably cheer up afterwards but I'm now recognising this pattern of feeling down more often than I have for a while.  Maybe I need to get focussed and sort stuff out or hear about the job or anything.  It's a bit disconcerting but I'm sure I'll work my way through it or out of it.  

Lunch Meeting

Having a chat about the work I did for my friend's business.  I did this before dad died so at least 6 weeks ago.  It has all gone a bit quiet now but we need to pick up on the plans I wrote up and where to go from here.  It is a bit difficult to quantify because there are other considerations for me.  It isn't my sort of job - or at least part of it isn't.


It will be good to get out of the house and have a few hours thinking about work and where it can go from here.  The trouble is that it isn't for me but the management and planning are so that's the interesting conundrum to unpick.


It would be nice to get a few £s into the business though but I'm not sure that it will be a life changing event :-)

Letting Go

Dad was very explicit about not wanting a gravestone, plaque or any other thing or memorial.  He didn't want people coming to lay flowers on birthdays and anniversaries or having a marked spot.  He just wanted us to get on with it, no sentimentality and for us to move on.  That's fine by me, it is how I think (unsurprisingly) and of course, as you may have guessed I'm pretty much like him in many ways.


It always surprises me how people will go and sit for hours by a grave talking to someone who isn't there, celebrating birthdays many years afterwards.  I suppose it is OK to mark them or think of them but find it a little disturbing to publish stuff in newspapers, stick a posting on Facebook etc.  I'm one for getting on with my life and don't get it.  It always seems a strange thing to do to me.


I'm not being disrespectful rather more that you probably need to get on with your own life.  I understand that there is a process to go through and that it may never be completely healed but it shows a certain amount of insecurity surely that you wouldn't want to move on?

Motivation

It is pretty hard to get started this morning, I've opened up some accounts I need to sort out and they look as dry as sawdust.  I will just have to work my way through it and tackle the drudgery of it all.  I am normally OK about doing things but procrastination is a problem especially when I have time on my hands.  When I'm pressured I find that I work a lot better as I make good use of my time.  When I have time to fill I use Parkinson's Law, which sort of states that "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."


I'm itching to get under way with the bathroom an I'm waiting to hear if I have an interview.  I'm trying with that to put it behind me in a way to suggest that it wont happen.  Knowing my luck it will all kick off together.  That would be Murphy's Law :-)

A Nice Sunday

Today was a good day and it was nice to just sort some bits out and then take a lazy afternoon of sport as there were some pretty heavy thunderstorms overhead.  I've got almost everything I need to do the bathroom now apart from a start date from the Plumber.  I have ordered just about everything needed to dismantle, make safe and install the new stuff.

I hope to hear, one way or the other, about the job this week.  It would be nice to know whether there is a job or not.  That will help me sort out the chores (or not) too.  I've taken a neutral view this time about it.  I'd like to get an opportunity for the job and it would be great but if it isn't there it will make me go and think about something else to do.  Either way I'm cool about it.

Journalists are they the lowest form of life?

I've said it before but I do find this dumbed down reporting annoying.  Of course an Athlete is going to be disappointed but please be nice to them and stop asking the bleeding obvious.  How about letting the poor people actually get their breath before asking them why they didn't win a gold medal?  How about a little sensitivity and asking them for their evaluation not telling them what, in your jaundiced, self-centred, win everything at an cost, childish and downright disrespectful attitude YOU thought was wrong.  Mark Cavendish should have smashed one of these leeches on society in the face for the way they spoke to him and for the disrespect they showed.  Most journalists only exercise is lifting a glass of Merlot to their lips, swallowing it and hoping their stomachs use enough calories digesting it to keep them active!  Pratts the lot of them, there's not one who has earned the right to talk to the Athletes they way they do they should be ashamed of themselves but are too soak fuelled and full and too full of their own self importance to bring the games to life.


HELLO - it isn't about you, presenters, has beens, B class people of notoriety, journalists, you are there to link and present the greatest athletes in the world to the audience.  It's about them and it will never be about you and your stupid, anal, attention seeking camera hogging.  


So thought I'd start Sunday with a rant :-)  Either I'm turning into someone slightly to the Right of Attila the Hun, or I'm speaking sense.  Whatever it is, I find myself fuming at the inane standards that we have these days.  There are so many things we do well in this country but this dumbing down and treating people disrespectfully has got to stop.   One Journo, at midday on the first day was moaning that we hadn't got on the medal table yet?  Another was slagging off the Cyclists who buried themselves on the race and the thing they don't get is that on the day, the best man won.  It may not have been to your script but that's what happened and that's the way it is.  Slagging the whole of Team GB off because we haven't got a medal yet is just disgusting and not in the spirit of the games and when sports people have been working for 4 years to get to this pinnacle of their chosen sport, how dare they belittle those achievements and that's just wrong.  These Journos have been p1ss1ng it up down the pub and engorging their Livers but they haven't had to train for hours every day for four years (and more).


Yes - it makes me very annoyed indeed that they dismiss the efforts of our athletes, I don't suppose they'd like it if we picked holes in their grammar and choice of words, what they wear and how they look.  It's fair game to them, they think it is OK to do it to other people.  I believe an amoeba could do a better job.

What? Still Cynical?

Apart from one bit last night, a small little cock up and we are all allowed to make those, I thought the opening ceremony was amazing and a logistical tour de force.  The small cock up would be a certain musician missing their cue and who perhaps should have retired a while ago but we all make mistakes.  There are people whinging about it didn't show our history this, our culture that and so on.   Can you believe that?  They didn't ask them to put on the show and welcome the world they asked someone who is world recognised for doing it (with Oscars, BAFTAs to provie it) and what can possibly be wrong with what was done in the time available.  Had comments from from too long (and in the same gasp not enough content) to moaning about speaking French and English (it's always been done - get used to it).  Basically everyone of them are allowed to have their own opinion (of course) and I defend their right to it but it's about time these people did something else other than moan and bitch the whole time.  Nothing will ever be right for them.


Funnily enough a guy who I know to be a strong supporter of the NHS (he was in it all his life) didn't like that tribute being paid to them - what an utter arse.  It said something quite profound about us I thought and wasn't just about children bouncing aorund but there you go.


It was a very British affair and the James Bond moment must have drawn laughs all across the world.  Mr. Bean's sketch was just right and who cannot have marvelled at turning our green and pleasant land into the Dark Satanic Mills.  No, it was just about right and did some amazing moral boosting for this poor little country that's had the crap beaten out of it and all its savings spent by a cynical laissez faire bunch of downright dishonest, self serving politicians.  Labour, Gordon Brown and Bliar lost me tens of thousands of pounds off my pensions and savings that I'm not getting back any time soon if ever and want to tell me its good for me.  No, we've been punched and kicked to the ground by their total mismanagement but yesterday, we wiped off the blood from our wounds and showed what we can actually do.  It's a shame that a certain cynical element of our populace didn't get that or didn't care about it.  They like to think they are saving our country and yet they miss the irony that they are part of the reason we are where we are.  I like to say my friend's phrase a lot.  "The biggest rut you've got to get out of is the rut you're in."  Some of these people who claim to be the true Brits are just right wing, self serving bully boys and whilst they go on about free speech and all don't really mean it.


We have 2 weeks to deliver a games that will inspire the world not just for our own prim satisfaction.  With all the disquiet in the world, it would be nice to think that relationships can be forged, friendships garnered and that we might start to get somewhere through sport where diplomacy may have failed.  Even if it is a small start it must be worth the hope that this might come about.  


As for those sad citizens, men and women, who prize intolerance, bigotry, bile and selfishness as their particular "code of morality" may the games prove you utterly and wholly wrong and like every argument you've ever held in your inadequate lives, may it thrust another dagger of right into your poisoned bodies and minds.  


Let's hope we have a good games and that we shop window what we are good at and those core moral tendencies we have especially fairness, integrity and honesty.  Let us cheer on the athletes who triumph as loudly as we cheer those who come in last, dropping a tear of sympathy over their failures but celebrating with those who win too.  It's about time we started to feel good about ourselves once again and cast off the cynical, sarcastic and downright nasty way we live together and treat each other.  Let the games begin.  

So let's get ready to party

I think it is very British thing to do and that's knock our efforts and make light of them and be cynical and sarcastic - it is a national trait but now's the time to put all that away and to get behind the games, welcome all our guests and just go out and have a blast.  It's just crazy to keep knocking things.  There are bound to be a few things go wrong, they always do but it is sorting it out and making it work and getting behind the spirit that needs to happen now.


I'm looking forward to the games but you can imagine that the travel disruption is going to be a problem and lets face it we are one of the biggest and busiest cities in the world so it will have its own dynamic.  Let's hope that it all goes off well and that we can all enjoy these celebrations - goodness knows we need something to lift us after the recession and all the bad news.


Still heard nothing from the job so have reset my expectations to 25%.