Some 24 hours later I find myself quite optimistic really. It surprises me that I should be quite so upbeat but then I didn't get any bad vibes at all from my consultant and I got to go home earlier than ever before, I wasn't even required to do the usual 3 pees in a jug to go at all and remembering all my experiences before this was easily the least traumatic and least painful of them. I know I've been pulled around as I can feel it, urinating is easier now and the fire and razor blades bit is all but gone.
So why so cheerful? well - what's the worst that can happen? A small growth that has happened since last August has been spotted and removed. It was routine and along with the remaining random biopsies that were taken in an otherwise normal bladder will be examined and then I'll be given the details at the next consultation. If I have to have treatment then I'll have to have treatment. They may well have treated it on the spot anyway. If it is a tiny isolated one then there may be a need for further scopes or some other sort of treatment. Whatever it is, they caught this so early on that some sort of plan can be formulated. It all depends on the grading of this tumour too. My early ones were aggressive to say the least and were large. This sounds so small that I didn't even need a catheter which is pretty good.
I remain positive and upbeat about the whole thing surprisingly enough and that has phased a few people but I know enough about this to know it is a set back but not a big one. If the cancer was in a tiny area of the bladder and is nowhere else then things aren't so bad - it is if it is aggressive and recurrent I'll have to work on.
This also gives me further incentive to make even more radical changes to my life style. I haven't eliminated things from my diet that could be carcinogens - sweeteners and pork and shellfish products. Not that i eat lots of them. However, I will be taking a long hard look now at what steps I am going to take to further assist my recovery and to make me healthier and more able to tackle anything that comes my way.
Somehow, in the back of my mind, I had half expected there to be a slight fall back or set back and hard as it may appear to take, it reinforces the very first conversation Ii had with my consultant - well she did most of the talking actually - saying that it was a rest of life thing, I'd always be being checked and tested and there is a high risk of recurrence and hence it was one of the most treatable of all cancers but also one that needs the most follow up and management. Not wrong there. Considering this was the 8th Operation I've had (although been gowned up for 9). I've had a Flexible Cystoscopy, An Intravenous X-Ray examination and I've had 18 or so BCGs (it could be more than that it may be as many as 24. That is all in 45 months (3 3/4 years). It just shows what you can get used to.
I brushed off some of my old music and took that into the Hospital with me - I'd forgotten how much I love this track by Kansas - Dust in the Wind - they don't make songs like this much these days.
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