Strange how I feel at the moment. I'm not frightened and I'm not thinking anything other than things have been set back a little bit. I suppose that when you get a set back, tiny as this is, you really weren't expecting it. It is funny how a number of people wonder if I feel ill or not well and yet I probably have been feeling as well as I ever have. Perhaps that too made for the shock. I was definitely ill when I got BC but hadn't seen it coming really. At the moment I feel unfit but only because I am over weight and so perhaps that is something to do with it.
I just feel a little low a little upset and a little let down. I think it is only natural to feel a little like that after all it wasn't great news. On the other hand I have a pretty good idea what treatment will be like if I am to have any and also I'm pretty much accepted that I'll need to have a good few more of these operations.
The operations I guess will be the thing that will make me low. I'm caught in the spiders web of tests and blood taking not only by my GP but also the Hospital and I'm just going to have to accept it.
I'm sure that I'll be looking at this a different way after the 6th May and my appointment. I hope that I'll feel just a little more upbeat. It was only 6 days ago I had this operation and I need a little more time to rationalise my thoughts. At present it is my heart and my emotions that are causing this wobble in my attitude. Once I get my brain loose and get some solid logic wrappered around the situation then I should get things into perspective once again.
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