Ran out of words

On that last blog. The flash backs were pretty painful and I'm pretty amazed I'm still here after all of that.

At the time, you really haven't had time to research properly and to sift out all the dross and nonsense and snake oil from the facts. We didn't know how bad things were at the time but they got me into Hospital in record time. As I recall I was diagnosed on the 21st (Friday) and was having the operation around 3 pm on the 25th (Tuesday). It was really hot, I remember that. I remember being absolutely terrified of what they would find in the results. Things were OK later when they let me know that they had got the tumours out etc. My journey had begun. It is a long way on since then - a return to health in many ways after a seriously low point in those early months and now I'm very much under observation and control but there has been a huge piece of the old me ripped out and lost. To balance that there is a slightly better me in certain areas and a slightly more cut throat renegade me as well.

I can't say that I am happy with those changes - they've made me a different person and not being in the greatest of health I've come to realise that I'll never be the full on person I once was. Not a bad thing either - I probably worked myself into ill heath if the truth be known and burning the candle at both ends may be exciting and rewarding but to affect my health like this was not what I had gotten in mind. Better to find out 4 years ago than later I reckon.

Brussels tomorrow - I am really looking forward to that - although it looks as if the weather has turned so no al fresco eating which would be a shame. Fingers crossed it doesn't rain too bad.