All this anger comes from somewhere and I realise that as much as I like to think I'm in control of things, I'm not really. Sure I can do many things to help myself but life has a way of reminding you what could happen at any time to any one of us.
In addition, I find that the things I think of when I am at my most cynical and when my mind goes off and analyses things actually appear to be coming true. I was sceptical about whether the whole team was behind us and I find that they are getting on with their own lives and they aren't really helping me and my business partner to the extent that we figured that they would. We also find that there is a general lack of feedback and support which is a shame really.
I suppose that I'm acting all hurt and surprised and upset about something that I knew, deep down inside myself, would probably happen. That is why there is anger boiling just under the surface. I really wanted everyone to come along and share in the journey but other people's lives are lived in their way not the way the big words said they would be. Suddenly reality bites and we are there on our own. After a long journey and a lot of work there just appears to be nothing there at all. The odd comment perhaps and the sound of a snippet stolen from a book half read on the subject of business start ups but, in reality, nothing is going to happen and we are left to do this on our own.
I've said this before and I guess after a week of real heavy slog I'm beginning to feel that I'm producing work that no one even reads. Sure the investors will read them but it would have been nice to have a pat on the back and a congratulatory email at least. What did I get? Zip - nada, nowt!
Oh well, tomorrow will be a nice day - the Scots are down and we are in for a fabulous meeting and a Burns Night to remember.
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