Who tomorrow will have to have his second endoscopy in 7 days. I feel for him but can't "take the hit for him". My mum often said to me, if she could take the medicine for me she would. I'm hoping that they find something that isn't what I think it might be. I guess 80 years of good health and never being in a Hospital is pretty good going really but I do feel for him as these places terrify him more than they used to terrify me. I think I said this in my earlier blogs some 4 years ago that I'd rather he never have to know what I'd been through knowing his dread of hospitals. However, the cards are dealt and he has to face up to what hand he has. It isn't nice and an endoscope isn't the greatest of things but last week they managed to do it without too much trouble apart from him not knowing what a general anaesthetic is capable of doing - he looked like Pinocchio without the strings to hold him up apparently! This time he knows what is going on and he has recovered suitably enough to bring his mind back to him (he was worried he was suffering from dementia some months back) and so I hope he realises this. My brother will be there with him tomorrow so I hope that it all goes well.
As usual - there's me doing a guilt trip as I'm not there to assist but as I said before - I don't recollect them ever coming down here and running me in and out of hospital or even visiting me at my death bed or at home!!! But that's OK I'll beat myself up about it - it must be something in my nature?
I think a lot about that because I'm off the opinion that parents are a back stop for when things go wrong - if your kid gets into some sort of trouble etc. I say this as both girls have their boyfriends staying here. I know because the toilet seat is up - that's a girl joke - they'll understand. As I have lived with a house full of women for 21 years - I KNOW MY PLACE and therefore, the toilet seat is always left down so when the boyfriends are here I sort of work it out from the angle of the toilet seat :-)
However, I digress. When I was my oldest daughter's age I had left home, I was working and earning pretty decent money, I was just about to embark on my career and I had a nice flat but I always knew, if I needed it, I had the bolt hole of my parents' place. I needed it once in between having to vacate my flat (which is no more than 2 minutes walk from where I live now) and buying my first property. My parents have always had my best interests at heart, keen that I didn't make the same mistakes (or as I prefer - learning opportunities) as they did. Whilst I may regret not going to University - it would have meant following a different path and not having the life that I have now which despite my constant whinging is in fact pretty damn good when compared with many who don't have the opportunities that I have had.
So back on track - all I was really trying to get to was my position with respect to A & L. They've got their whole lives ahead of them and University will provide them with adequate experiences for life. They can do what they want to do - and not what I may think is best for them and they can live the life they choose to live and I have no desire whatsoever to interfere or to get involved unless they want me to and ask me. I can give opinion and deliver experience and observation but I am a firm believer in allowing you to find out for yourself. I do however try and provide sufficient encyclopaedic knowledge where I can to allow them to come to (the right) a conclusion themselves....
I hope I'm doing the right thing, they are both a credit to us and so in that respect I cannot find anything that worries me about their current choices of course at University, their choice of boyfriends or their hard work in terms of their education. They both have jobs and they both pay their own way albeit we continue to provide a home etc whilst they are studying. If they go on holiday (as they both are) or do other activities they spend their own money doing it (I'm not saying that contributions cannot be forthcoming though).
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