Back Ache and Goodbye PC

I had a terrible back ache yesterday but managed to feel a lot better last night and into the morning but it's back with a vengeance probably as I was still dealing with the troublesome laptop. I've had to admit defeat - it's only the second PC I've ever had this sort of unsolvable problem on and I can only imagine it is something quite mysterious that doesn't appear on software testing. How anyone can sort this sort of thing out themselves is beyond me it was a mess and I worked about 20 or more hours on in it and completely rebuilt the machine! What a nightmare. So it kind of work to a fashion but even with a new operating system on it still crashes.

So I sat down tonight with a seriously bad back. Rewarded myself with a beer and a bacon sandwich! I know - but I can't do anything exercise wise so might as well.

Can't quite fathom out what is wrong with me though behind all of this. I think I'm worried about tomorrow and my Dad's diagnosis. More for the fact that he's talking all wrong. I heard a phrase tonight saying that "not wanting to die" wasn't the same as "wanting to live" - Dad's got a negative mindset and that's not a good thing to have. Of course, we don't know what that diagnosis will be, they didn't find any tumour and nothing looked wrong with his Pancreas but they took biopsies anyway. Well we will find out soon enough.

It is also A level results day tomorrow so the students will be getting those at 9 am. L will go and collect hers and let's hope she gets her results and can go to University. The accommodation is ready and all the paperwork is here. Other daughter, A, goes off to Edinburgh a little later in the morning and it all sort of kicks off.

To go back to me, I've been feeling quite emotional and strangely not right about things. I have moments of really emotional welling up that I can't work out what it is about - maybe it is Dad.

Also thoughts for a good friend of mine who is having some tests at the moment and another family member with a benign brain tumour. It's all happening.