Thinking About - Quality of Life

I wonder whether there's a point where the QOL argument and keeping someone alive because  of your oath causes the sort of problems we - along with many others must face.  I think that sometimes I want dad to go to sleep and to not wake up for his sake as well as my mums.  I do find that everyone suffers.  You suffer seeing your father/husband just deteriorating in front of your eyes.  It isn't the person you know - he looks like him - a very thin and drawn - perhaps frightened version.  It isn't how I'd want to remember him and when you hear that cliché that "it was a release" I can now understand that sentiment.  


The family too becomes stressed out and to see someone you love in pain, losing weight, unable to help themselves, completely reliant on others really isn't nice at all.  I do feel that - loss of dignity - is something that I'd find difficult myself to live with and I think that dad is bearing up well on that front.  


You can see why assisted death would be an option for some people as in reality we didn't expect things to be like this and we really expected things to be a little more peaceful and certainly not to end like this in a bed, unable to move, fighting infection and diabetes and many other things.  Somehow, the shock of sudden death may be more acceptable, more painful perhaps but at least it wouldn't be this long drawn out process for him and us.


I do feel so sorry for him and for mum.  I'm sort of distanced from it and also don't have the day-to-day agony of it but somehow I wish it is concluded quickly for both their sakes.  It isn't going to be nice it isn't great now though so perhaps it would be the fairest way out.  But as my dad often told me "Life's not fair boy" :-)