The Fatigue Question

I found out today that the fatigue thing is pretty common and no matter how much rest you get it doesn't go away. Well I feel relatively healthy and very much better in terms of well being and my head is pretty much straight these days. I reckon if I can get rid of the fatigue piece by the end of the year and if I get the all clear then too, I should be able to get on with my life a bit better and perhaps try and plan out some other things to do. I am keen to do this Batchelor of Arts in History and the term starts in October so maybe, just maybe, I'll go for that. Perhaps that will give me something to concentrate on and make me sort out yy time more effectively. Maybe it will help get rid of the fatigue?

It takes some time I find to work out now what has happened, what will happen and take stock of the past few years of problems for it was about 2 years ago that the very first minute traces of blood were discovered and what is really spooky is that I will be at a Lodge meeting that I missed at that time on the day that I was first presented with the Symptoms - 2nd July.

The ups and downs have been profound and I now have to deal with spending more time in detailed analysis of that as I am sure I will reflect on what I have gone through quite differently now that it has been so long since I have been clear of the disease. Most probably this time last year when I was having the 2nd lot of full treatment was in fact the time that the caner went away.

I found out today that someone else I know has Cancer and that is sad. I need to talk or write soon to help if can. The person I knew who went for tests on Thursday was a negative and was sorted out on the spot which is a great relief as was another friend a few weeks back.

Someone at work asked me why I was always happy and smiling and I said that I would have to let them know later. Only a few people know at work and whilst I don't make a thing of it - they do know that I am having some sort of treatment and a few know what it is! Not trying to be a "man of mystery" just trying to work out how to tell my colleagues why I am like I am and not making it sound like some sort of super hero stuff, man on a mission or a guilt trip (I hope it isn't that).

I still reckon it is one of the best jobs I have ever done, I really enjoy it, I get so much satisfaction from it and obviously it must reflect in the way that I carry myself at work as most people notice that I am always up and always willing to help and assist or do anything at all. I also want to make them feel good about the job they do, some of the thank you letters we get from the children, now grown up or pleased with their results etc are all the reward you could ever need I think. The team do a great job, third sector work is notoriously underpaid but ensuring my colleagues know what a great job they do is alos, I believe, part of my job too. They are great.