On the up!

 Well, that is good, things are on the up and I feel much better than I did leading up to Christmas and the New Year - I'd been down for 6 or more months by then even and so it's nice to come out of the other side.  Mind you, two deaths in as many days, My Auntie who, bless her was 96 and had been suffering dementia for some years and a friend who I spoke to in December and really wasn't well who passed away overnight, he developed pneumonia and the drugs just couldn't save him.  Sad in that he was such a live wire until a year ago when he developed this illness that has eventually took his life.

Another friend in a faraway country is also down on his luck so I've sent him some money, not that I can afford, to alleviate his sufferings.  I hope that he will be able to turn things around.  Abroad is nice but no welfare system like we have to help if things go wrong.  

As for me, well I spent some time in my Eckhart Tolle books and some YouTube things he has done and I've gotten back on top of my brain!  There's no one inflicting pain on me physically and the idiot I have to deal with will always be an idiot and do stupid things and so it shouldn't anger me or cause me any pain and I know how to deal with him now as well.

I can feel my ego/pain body wanting to fight back as they lose control over me and raking up old affairs and situations is a way that they do that.  It's a matter of realising what is happening and stopping yourself from reacting.  It's not easy to do this I grant you but part of the solution is knowing what is going on and realising that your reactions are what they want to get from you.  Once you realise you can stop it and bring yourself back into the present moment, the now if you will and that pushes these things away for a while.  

I've found that leaving Social Media alone has helped and I am trying to disconnect from all social media as well as State broadcast news and so on.  Again, try to work out what the "programming" is - try counting the times that a news programme or documentary mentions, for example, Climate Change, Man-made carbon emissions, Sea Level rise, Extreme Weather, Environmental impact blah, blah, blah.  When I watch it (if at all) I can almost predict the script.  There was a programme about the London flood of 1928.  That was due to huge snowfields melting, persistent rain and a High Tide / Storm Surge.  It happened again on the 1950s and in the 2000s - they managed to get the lot in here a full house of environmental impacts caused by man, Climate change, sea level rises and extreme weather - so this happened 3 times in one hundred years.  I doubt in 1928 many of us had SUVs!   If they'd bothered to look further back into history they'd have found more floods and generally around the same time of year when we get high tides sweeping up a narrowing estuary, heavy rain and so on.  We get it every year, we live in a maritime climate - that's what happens.  

It's all very predictable, the country programmes are made by people who live in the city and not in the countryside and they have an agenda of their own, they haven't really got a clue what happens out here.  If these people had a few more brain cells they'd be stupid.

So anyway, I'm better than I was, still battling the ego (as the rant above will show you) and the problem is just that.  I need to disconnect away from all these utter bollocks that are happening out there, the crazy psychopathic headlong charge into wars, destroying our food and fuel for some crazy theory that hasn't even been proven and the data doesn't support.  It sounds harsh but I feel I should fight all of this and rage against the machine and yet in reality, I and my fellow citizens need to wake up and withdraw from it, take away these crazy people's power and focus on living ignoring all the noise and nonsense around us.

Easy for me to say and very very difficult to actually do.  I can only be alert and present in small bursts.  I was better 11 years ago when I could get out of the house and just feel at one with the world.  The catalyst then is not available now.  I need to recreate what it felt like and learn to dismiss all the crap around me.  When you get it and feel at one with the world it really makes you mind and body sing, go light, rejoice and all the day-to-day rubbish is banned for as long as it can last.  At the moment it is short, more seconds and minutes, years ago it was longer perhaps tens of minutes.  It's hard going given the way our brains are programmed but I intend to get myself there in the end.