Or at least, I hope it will be. There's something strange about suddenly freeing your body and mind from all the troubles that have been causing you to be stressed especially when you realise that it is you causing your own stress.
It is something that, unless you've felt it yourself, isn't easy to explain. I was massively stressed before Christmas, so much so that I said to my friend who I met for breakfast, that I was stiff with all sorts of anger, stressed out and fearful all at once. Of course, there was the idiot we were dealing with who didn't approach negotiation with anything but his own best interests at heart and other similar things. Yet, at this very moment, nothing is causing me stress. You see he'd have to be standing next to me being an idiot or actually physically hurting me and he isn't. At this moment I can only be present and the past and the future have no bearing on things.
Easy to type that isn't it? The upshot is, as I'd practised before, to not let your own brain take over and overthink, overanalyse and frankly make your own life hell! You don't need it. The idiot will do whatever he will do next and when he does that I'll be able to respond in kind. I can't do anything about what he will do nor will worrying or getting uptight about it do anything that will affect it. It's coming up two months since he made his last stupid remark and so perhaps he's overthinking things?
Then there's all the other things in life that were winding me up. They aren't important at all really. Stupid people will do stupid things and it isn't any of my business what they do. They might be untidy or lazy and so on but that's no reason to let my brain beat me up for that either.
It's interesting to hear the voice in my head start up some sort of memory or regret from the past and I'm getting used to stopping it dead now. Past romances and encounters that didn't lead anywhere (but little voice says they could have) that sort of nonsense. Nothing in the past matters because it is in the past and cannot affect you at this very moment. Likewise, something in the future cannot affect you as it hasn't happened yet.
Catch your mind (little voice) and stop the thoughts, think about something else in the present, the sound of the birds outside, the smell of some flowers, doing a task, give it your undivided attention and you'll find that all the noise goes away.
Where I used to react to other people's dysfunction I can now stop myself (not all the time) and be present and not let my own ego try and sort the situation out. It is difficult but getting rid of all the crap really clears your mind and you can then just be yourself and enjoy your life.
I'm getting better and better at this. Hopefully, I can get back to being a bit like my old self again Soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment