Off out for the afternoon and evening

It is the first meeting of the season for me and I am off with Flocky Bicep to Surrey where we are guests of one of the Lodges there. I'm no longer an official guest but got an invite "for old times sake" which is nice. I am looking forward to it as there is a re-enactment of a 1795 ceremony and I haven't seen one of those in years.

On a down note, an old friend died on Tuesday night and we just heard today. He was in his 90s and I've known him for about 25 years. He was the one who coined the phrase about my Consultant (whom he was also variously under treatment for various things) as the "Willy Doctor". He was a gentle man a real one, the type you don't meet very often. He was active right up until last year. I am quite proud being appointed as his successor as Chaplain of two of the Lodges he was Chaplain for after he became ill. It is a sad day for everyone who knew him. He had a long and fulfilling life and I'm lucky to have known him.

I have no doubt that his funeral next week will be over subscribed.

Did I get to bed early last night? No of course not there was bound to be something that kept me up!! When will I ever learn. At least tonight I should be able to get home and just go to bed... That's the plan.

Great News from Across the Pond

Indeed great news as Steve K has had a further clear following a flexible scope and now has a further 3 BCG Immunotherapy sessions to come starting next week on a weekly basis.

The anxiety you go through just before these regular check ups is difficult to describe. The last thing you want to hear is you've had a recurrence - even a little one like mine! So it continues to be good news and I'm delighted for him as possibly only a fellow sufferer can be. you wouldn't wish it onto anyone else.

I have decided that I WILL GO TO BED EARLY tonight. I need to stop my brain spinning with all this business stuff somehow.

Must stop doing the night shift

I ended up getting to bed at 1:45 in the morning such was the need to get on and do more research on what this guy had said to me yesterday. As it was I think we realised that this guy was one of those "corporate" types who had a lot of senior level experience and who used an almost intimidatory manner to talk down to people.

He will not feature in our team as their is no "I" in team etc. Certainly both of us coming from Cororate backgrounds (which he knew) didn't take to him at all.

Anyway, it made me do some reality checks which is no bad thing I suppose.

I'm off out tomorrow to my first Masonic meeting of the new season. It should be nice I hope to get out and about and not to be doing anything this year! well apart from being the Treasurer that is.

Customer Service

Railways. We get half way in to London and the relief crew aren't there so we wait, wait, wait and then they cancel the train and we all have to get out - outside the station another train is queuing. We get on that but it can't go because there's some train ahead on the tracks (our previous one) waiting to get into the sidings. This is just utter bollocks guys. What kind of business could run that way? 40 minutes late - 40 minutes and I decided to take the slow train for a bit of scenery as I was early!!!!

A friend was sharing the journey with me which was kind of OK but he has some issues at the moment and I had to be civil and talk through it with him - well listen to him. And so I didn't mention to him that I was meeting some other friends for lunch as - basically - he is strapped for cash but eventually I had to tell him and it was embarrassing all around.

My business partner and I then headed off for a meeting with a guy who we thought might be useful to our business progress. He was but not in the way I felt he may have been - it was an uncomfortable ride. I had to go for a beer afterwards and my friend needed a trio of coffees. I can't say that I enjoy confrontational people and this guys was being awkward (that's such a difficult word to spell) on purpose and that was meant to push us and make us react. Interestingly we weren't going for it but it was interesting as there were a few interesting things that he said and did which were give aways that it was an act. Things like he had actually read what we sent as we heard some of our hard worked and hard won phrases played to us and we hadn't mentioned them. We learnt loads - but I'm not certain I could work with this guy on anything more than a dragon's den scenario.

Thank goodness for a lift home - I was emotionally drained by the first travelling conversation and then the adrenaline from the second meeting made me tired - got back ate something and got back on the straight and narrow. Will need some sleep tonight to sort out what all that meant this afternoon :-)

Steve is scheduled for Judgement Day on Thursday (tomorrow) not today as I originally thought. Positive thoughts for the right result....

A Grrrrrr Moment

Earlier today - you can't believe how tedious and little some people can be. Or at least I can't - I have a very very very low threshold for stupidity, jobs-worths and other petty minded oxygen wasters. It was a shame that I wasn't actually "there" but I thought my email of "done" was pretty good and about the shortest email I've ever written.

I was out late last night and I am out tonight again and Wednesday and Friday!!!! This week looks pretty bad for trying to lose weight or just about do anything else really.

However, tomorrow, I need all your fingers, arms, legs, toes and anything else you can cross together with positive vibes and prayers and everything else because it is Judgement Day for Steve over in the USA.

Thoughts too for the family in New Zealand who are still getting powerful aftershocks of up to 5 on the Richter Scale with a 6.0 predicted soon. Having only lived through what I thought was an earthquake (it was a tunnelling machine working under a building in Milan) I can quite understand the apprehension and worry of the real thing. The funny bit about Milan? I was the only one in the office who didn't know what was going on having flown in for a meeting. Suddenly in the 6th floor board room the whole place started vibrating badly. I said should we get under the desk or go outside which proved very amusing to my Italian hosts...... However, it was here that I heard for the first time the phrase "No Problemo" and that made my day - bless you Arnie!! Perhaps Arnie can help me with my Anger Management problem above? "I'll be back!"

Lifelites Promotional Film

I was with the CEO of Lifelites yesterday - here is a video of the great work they do in Children's Hospices in the UK. I'm really pleased one of my ex-customers has agreed to sponsor them to the tune of £5,000 this year. They need all the cash they can get of course. if you know of a Trust that is predisposed to give to children's charities - perhaps this one may warrant their attention? They are always looking for corporate sponsorship too so - don't be shy.

Tired out

Not surprising as I got home about 11 last night - or was it later? I can't exactly remember. One of "those" nights. Went out for a drink after work and it ended up being a bit of a session. Luckily it was Monday so no crowded trains or much else to worry about and daughter kindly came and got me from the station which was good as it was pretty miserable weather.

Not sure what I was thinking but I really didn't need that and it was a spur of the moment thing, I was actually coming home early until then :-)

This morning, I'm pretty tired I have to say - not a great thing when I am also due out tonight for a beer with my school chums too.

Weight

Mmm, well yes - no movement this week, not surprising I suppose given that I haven't exercised since my escapade of lifting a shed - what was I thinking :-)

So that is OK - it just means that I MUST get back to exercise this week and also, I am guessing the large meal on Thursday and an impromptu beer and a curry on Saturday night didn't actually help. L was up at Hyde Park doing the Women's 5K challenge along with tens of thousands of others. This time she was running for a Children's Leukaemia Charity. She even saw herself on national TV which emitted a squeak of delight. I'm please that the girls are embracing doing something for charity. The bonus must be to enjoy doing it.

Thoughts this week must turn to Steve K in the US who has had a long period off from the attentions of the doctors but needs to go for a poke and peek this week. So everyone, concerted effort for positive vibes for Wednesday for a positive outcome - a positive outcome being a negative showing - which is a long winded way of saying that we all hope, wish and pray for a clear inspection.

I have a busy old week this week, I am up to London tomorrow and Wednesday and then off to Guildford on Friday. The business venture now becomes more intense as we have gone over halfway. We now need to "step up to the plate" and really accelerate our efforts.

I was listening to some music over the weekend and I'll leave this blog entry with this rather nice piece of music.

New Zealand

An Earthquake - they didn't tell me they had those there - apparently they get circa 20,000 a year but not normally noticeable - like Iceland then. Good news is that the family are shaken and stirred but all alive and well. Luckily for a 7.0 no one was killed, a couple of serious injuries. Glad that they are all well, interesting that "totally powerless to help the children" in the middle of it was one of their comments. Nature actually IS Awesome (please note kids and people who use that word) Awesome power is Earthquakes and is not to be used for the latest gadget, for goodness sake :-)

So - it is Saturday - I promised myself not to be sitting here and not to be doing work - I now pronounce judgement on myself "FAILURE!!!!" :-)

Hopefully my Nephew will come over and buy me a beer this afternoon. That will be nice.

Week over

Thank goodness this week is out of the way. The dustmen told us they were coming Saturday, they put it on the web site too (as Monday was a holiday) and they turned up today, a day early and didn't collect anything as we hadn't put it out. At times like this I often wonder "Is it me?" The simplest of things isn't it - someone must have worked out that everything would be a day late, they published that but didn't tell the guys who do the work who have probably wondered why no one has put anything out for them and got away with the fastest round ever.

It makes you surprised that more things like this happen. A bit like my train with the heating on during a lovely summer day? These people walk amongst us - it's terrifying that they are completely inept at their jobs so what are they like left in the wild. Bring back natural selection or de-selection in their cases!

I had a "funny moment" earlier on today. It happens occasionally and it was the of the morbid kind, about how close it had been and what would have happened if things had been slightly different or they hadn't caught it quite when they did. These sort of day dream moments aren't that common but they can pull you up with a bit of a shock. I think, it had something to do with seeing some photographs of my girls when they were younger and recollecting some of those "great moments" that only children can bring, looking back they are just wonderful and joyful memories and treasured moments. Things like their excitement at telling you what they had been up to, showing you a picture carefully crafted at school just for you, throwing themselves at you, giving you a surprise cuddle and all that sort of thing.

It is in those moments that the enormity of what I've been through sinks in and also, in a bizarre twist of fate way, the agonies they have had to endure and the fear that they (although they have never said it directly) had when everyone knew what I had. The girls were only 16 and 12 at that time.

So, one to watch out for, it has to happen, you need to rationalise sometimes but you can't keep the reality of your situation suppressed all the time.

I'm reading a blog at the moment where things have started to get pretty much into the serious situation. A year is the prognosis. This after many years of up and down problems. The blog is a useful reminder to me that "there but by the grace of God go I" and I try and remind myself how lucky I am that things are like they are, under some control.

I was also reflecting on how much happier I have been recently. I am surprised how much lighter I feel now that the threat of full blown operations has been lifted. I must go and see my optician and my dentist. Another waking dream is when they ask me why I haven't been along and the answer goes along the lines of - "Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to be alive long enough for new glasses / fillings etc and thought I'd save the money!"

I enjoyed watching Avatar again tonight. That takes you off somewhere else for a short while and has just set me up for a nice pleasant weekend. I hope not to be doing any heavy work. I have only just recovered from the shed lifting from last week.

Do I miss going to London?

No.

It was a typical journey - the heater on the train was on - blasting hot air into the carriage. The usual walk into work, the usual people doing their usual jobs. "When were you last here?" they asked - "I think it was 8 weeks ago!" I replied and nothing changes, things go on as they ever did. I managed to spook my opposite number by showing him the Wiki I had built. We have almost completed our project and they are only about a quarter of the way through theirs. I enjoy a gloat and spent some time savouring the moment.

We did our business and I went on to the Lunchtimers meeting and took the Chair as Vice Chairman with the Chairman absent - that was my job. If voted in at the November meeting I will be lucky enough to preside, next September at the 100th meeting.

I am back up to London on Monday and Wednesday first for charity business and then our new venture on Wednesday. Hopefully the guy we are going to meet will be able to work with us to raise sufficient funding for us to get off the ground and go forward. Exciting times...

Jazz and Beer - but not too much

I'm out tonight for some Old Speckled Hen beer and the Jazz evening. I don't know about you but I enjoy live music? What I cannot abide is why so many people just talk over the top of such great musicianship. I was a pretty handy trumpet player in my day and not bad at guitar but no rock star and I know how long I practised and how difficult it was - for me. Many people are, I suppose, more gifted and perhaps find it easier to play but they shouldn't be talked over when playing.

A lot of people probably treat it as a social but do what I do, speak between songs.

Anyway, I'm sure I will enjoy it.

No exercise for a few days - lifting that shed has seized me up a bit so I'm walking rather than getting on to the exercise machine. It just feels a little gentler to do that and I don't want to injure myself or go on the machine until I feel fit enough not to damage some area that is weak or recovering.

London and work in the morning and pleasure in the afternoon tomorrow. A morning preparing for the committee meeting next Monday and then to Lunchtimers for a relaxing lunch and afternoon. As no one wants to go out in the evening, I will dash off early and miss the traffic. Looking forward to this one as I will act as Chairman. I become Chairman in November but having already done 3 meetings this year standing in I should know what to do during my year in office.

A Day Without the Internet

is just a pretty bad day. As only I can, I decided to update my router to see if I could stop it dropping out as it is prone to do recently. Easy enough, you back up your existing situation, download the firmware bin file upload it to the router, reboot the router and



Nothing! Bloody great. So roll back to the previous back up, the one it asked you to make and it then finds it is corrupted!!! Great, so all day long at regular intervals I've been restarting the router and reconfiguring it, rebooting the cable box (5 minutes a go) and so on until this evening then suddenly off it went and everything came back as if by magic.....

I really feel tight after lifting up the shed at the weekend. Getting up and down with the router added to the pain too:-)

BUPA Advert

There is a BUPA (UK Health Insurance) advert that is doing the rounds on TV at the moment. I guess they are getting over a message that 1 in 3 will get cancer at sometime and that they have it all sorted out for you but it is the simplicity of the advert that is just amazing. One day, so and so was feeling good next day she had a lump, went to the doctors, who referred her, went to the Hospital got it cut out and everything was rosy again!

I realise that the message needs to be put across quickly and succinctly but when did you wander into the doctors, wander over to the Hospital, have it cut out and everything was OK?



Well maybe - but don't you think that's just a little over simplified?

Fixed the Shed

I mean the dark room. I had to remove about 2 foot of rotten floor, which meant propping up the shed on bricks like some wheel thief and then remove the affected area, build a new section and put that in after having treated the wood prior to that. I feel quite useful today - I probably haven't done a serious bit of heavy work like that since just before I had Bladder Cancer when I moved a floor sander around the house which I originally thought was the source of my symptoms in the first place! I felt I had really done myself a mischief :-)

Since then I have taken it pretty easy especially as you do tend to notice a weakness around your bladder area when lifting of even exercising. But anyway, its good that I got out there and did that repair and A is now working with Mrs. F to treat all the wood, block all the holes which may let in light and to evict many thousands of spiders and other creatures that have squatted on my property!!!

The number of snails, slugs and other strange creatures under the shed was amazing too.

It will be ideal for A when it is done as I had it made tall for me to work in and so it will easily accommodate her two enlargers and developer, fixer and water trays plus all the other equipment she will need. It will look quite spooky as the windows are going to be painted black as, of course, there can be no light except the red light inside the room when they are working. she also has to put up a partition between the two enlargers so no stray light from the one to the other occur. It's very exciting and it is nice to see my old workshop used for something again rather than storing loads of odds and ends.

I've been working on and off sorting out the Wiki for the charity and have just about completed it now. It looks pretty good I have to say and I'm delighted that I managed to get the same one as they built Wikipedia out of. If you fancy a peek it is here Festival Guidelines. It wont mean a lot to anyone who isn't an English or Welsh Freemason but finally, the process is documented and available. The great thing about a Wiki is it can be edited by the team and that it can be kept up to date simply.

A busy few weeks lie ahead as we will be choosing the people we want to do our logo and initial branding. Later on we will be meeting another potential member of the team and I think that we need to be taking a reality check on where we are now. I'm also checking out some other contacts for legal and other advice so that they can be lined up ready for the next phases of our work. It's exciting times. If this all fails, I'll be available for shed repairs any day :-)

Angry Days

Very occasionally I'll get an "angry day" one where my temper is nearer the surface or sense of humour is AWOL. It can be for various trivial reasons and I do tend to try and keep out of the way of anyone who may receive the benefit of my sarcasm. Unfortunately, at times like this, humans have a tendency to gravitate towards me drawn like moths to the flame and nature deprives them of anything useful to say rather it blesses them with the inanities so often enjoyed by those with limited education or enables them to say the exact thing that will set off a tirade of verbal abuse that their stupidity deserved.

I managed quite well to keep out of the way for most of the day but I do find being asked questions that people already know the answer too - or that they don't listen to the answer or that it is the wrong answer (based on what they wanted to hear) somewhat annoying and time wasting.

It goes along with lending assistance to be told that they weren't really interested after all.

So it's been that sort of day today and I'm just about to switch off and have done with it. Tomorrow I'll be helping A convert my old shed into a darkroom. They've stripped it out completely and there is a hole in the floor that needs fixing. I'm sure I can sort that out somehow. I used to spend time in there making things for the kids when they were small, like Doll's Houses and a fold away shop - good old days spent happily constructing things.

I wonder whether the onset of this illness killed off such things. I used to do a lot of DIY and gardening and these days I just haven't got the patience for it or derive the enjoyment I used to from those sorts of activities. Looking back, there are a lot of things I used to do that I don't do now. I used to cook a lot, I do a little now when I have to but nowhere near as much. We used to have people over for dinner parties - that's hardly happened since I was ill. There's lots of things that have changed where the habit has been broken and where lethargy kicked in.

In some ways, I find it a shame that these things no longer hold the enjoyment they did. Even my great passion for family history has diminished and I no longer spend hours doing research. Perhaps now that I have some time available again I can look to pick that up again?

Slight Loss

Of weight that is - 15 stone 13 Lbs or 223 pounds. Another barrier through so below 16 Stone now and just need to keep at it. Going to Mum and Dad's was OK as they heeded the warning and we had rabbit food not the normal stick to your ribs food she normally does :-) bless !

That barrier means I can soldier on now and start towards getting to 15 stone. That will be good as I really want to get down much further than that. Targets, milestones, things that can realistically be achieved. I may need to wait for 10 weeks or more to get there.

I got back on the exercise machine and decided to try the most difficult setting - wow, did my legs burn after that one. It just keeps incrementing every 3 minutes so by 20 minutes in you are at maximum resistance. It was a real relief when it freed up and I could do a recovery session. I think I might use that only once a week and go back to my normal 3 peaks one.

Exercise sucks still. An MP3 Player seems to help me pass 30 minutes in what otherwise appears to be a futile venture. I KNOW it does me good but how anyone can actually "enjoy" this is beyond me - surely we were made for greater things like sitting in front of the TV, watching sport and flicking between channels with the remote - surely that is my destiny (as Darth would say!!).

Back

Chauffeured up and back by Mrs. F and Daughter A was a new experience. I quite enjoyed it apart from how late you can brake in the new car!

Mum and Dad were OK, Dad looks a bit frailer and I guess for coming up to 80 in a few months he isn't bad considering. 3 days is enough time for us to have been there as he can just about handle it. On Day 2 Mrs. F and other daughter L went to Work to see the University there. A dropped them off at the station and then we took Mum and Dad out to Hunstanton for the day. It was quite nice but we wore Dad out a bit. Had a nice time though and had a treat - good old Fish and Chips which were yummy. I even treated myself to a little salt on my chips - well why not?

I see so much of me in my Dad it worries me - I certainly hope I don't "get like that" later in life. It was amazing how set in his ways he is, life is all about doing set things at set times, I suppose that it is one of those things that you need - routine and yet I shun from that as much as I can but we are all creatures of habit. I find myself sitting in the same seat or area of a train going up and back from London, I like to do things in a certain way etc.

I had quite an interesting time when I stepped on my parents scales in the bathroom which showed my as being 15 stone 12 lbs. OK that's 2 lbs lighter than I thought I was but - hold on - I was wearing my clothes and had my watch, wallet, phone etc all on me ready to go out. Surely the scales were wrong? Apparently not they are pretty accurate. This casts doubt on my scales in the bathroom which show me at 16 stone (or thereabouts). When I went to the Hospital they weighed me significantly less than I thought I was. Perhaps I never was 17 stone :-) Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise to find I was a lot less heavy than I thought I was. Our scales now need to be checked for accuracy.

Chilean Mine Workers

I felt really ill last night, a sinking feeling right in the pit of my stomach and actually had to get up and walk away from the TV as I felt so rough.

Those poor guys stuck down a mine who have now been found. They may have to wait for upwards of 4 months to be rescued, in the meantime they are stuck in a hole in the ground. Me, given my claustrophobia would have started drilling out with my own fingers by now or just have gone completely off my rocker. I suppose someone like me would never have gone down a mine in the first place. Then to find that they had drilled through and found you only to be told that you'd be down there for a lot longer than you thought you would - like 4 months longer.

It makes me ill just thinking about it - poor souls but at least they know that help is on its way. I guess, I'm second guessing what it's like here a bit like people second guessed what my condition is like. I suppose that thinking you were going to die and then realising that there was then hope and then a way out are pretty similar things, maybe they feel differently now but even so, stuck under 700 M of rock in a small space would just about freak me out!

You can see why this would work

In the BBC today "Drinking water before meals helps dieting, says study" explains how drinking two glasses of water before meals helps you lose weight.

It makes sense if you fill your stomach with water but I tend to go with a bowl of soup to satiate but perhaps I'll give this a go. You may have seen an email that suggests you should NOT have water after a meal as it solidifies the oily stuff in you stomach and may cause Cancer. This is NOT TRUE - see here.