Shocking Review Of The Past

 I decided that I would look back on this blog to the earliest and darkest days right at the beginning and I have been pulling posts out to go into a journal.  This is not without it's own dangers of course.  I find posts that I made in 2006 and 2007 where I can barely remember who I was talking about or who in fact had died or what meetings I had and so on as I didn't say at the time who they were.

On top of that as I edit and tidy the posts I find that I was reliving some of those moments and recalling the highs and deep deep lows of the journey and I am only just one year into the journey.  The not so fun part is the hindsight.  Things that I didn't do correctly, advice I took (and subsequently gave) that I now know to be incorrect.  The most interesting is the job choice I took which turned out to be a bit of a disaster but actually and interestingly, I had that in the blog that I took the job as it was a start up and that it could go well or it could fall flat on its face (which it did).  It annoyed the hell out of me but there it is, in black and white, that I would learn a lot from this start up and that it would do me well in any way it worked out.

So it came to be and of course I've been involved in three or is it four now and falling flat on our face is always an option.

I was also acutely aware re reading some of these posts how ill I was.  Read between the lines and whilst I mention it, I think the way I wrote about it (and reading it now with knowledge) alludes to a darker time I was having of it all.

What I have taken away from it is how on earth I managed to work and have treatment and I see at one time I had three gigs on the go and was having immunotherapy at the same time!

It is slightly disturbing though going back over all of this stuff, half remembered occasions, the worry and concern, the highs (only a few at 2006/2007) and the lows, the mediocre and mundane and the frantic and downright craziness of it all.

Tucked in the late 2006 and early 2007 is a post that leapt off the page and it was about collateral damage.  The post wondered if the fallout from this would affect the family unit and would things ever be the same again.  In 2013 we found out the truth behind that.

I am giving it a short break though as it gets intense when you see the things you were going through and how (in hindsight) you'd wished you'd tackled things differently (or would you?).

Spendthrifts

 I recall my younger days and people living beyond their means.  On occasions I have bailed these people out only to find that they continue to not learn their lessons but often double down on them.

Finding a sum of money unexpectedly in their account they spent the (thousands) and then when the bank spotted the error they had to pay it back.  Surely you'd have spotted the error yourself and would know how much you had?  Others continue to go out for meals and get take away, buy things like pre-made sandwiches and bottled water etc.  

What am I driving at? Well the government are now looking to go for those of us who saved prudently, want to give something to our kids, put money away for our old age etc.  This is just another form of theft in my book.  You've taxed the money before and since and now you want to do it again and why?  WHY?  Because they are shit at running the economy, because they are the sort of people who cannot live within our means (it isn't their money is it) and because they just spunk the money they do have up the wall, waste it, throw it away, give it away, cannot control it and frankly do not look after or care for any of it because it doesn't affect them.

The waste is atrocious, the payment of I think they said 4 million sick days in the Civil Service, lobbing out for all sorts of freebies - I like that the free ice creams they tried to sort out for their staff ended up in both Ice Cream vendors being done for their vehicles, licenses and insurance and so no one ended up winning.  Then they are spunking £32 Bn into carbon capture that will (if the untried tech actually works) save 2 minutes worth of CO2 output per year!!!

They cripple the economy, restricting everything with red tape and overarching regulations.  And when the interfere it comes down to us to pay for the fall out caused.  If these imbeciles    had another brain ell they'd qualify as amoeba.

Every time that they f**k up, we pay.  They don't do anything to look at themselves and take a scalpel to their waste.  They whinge about black hole this and black hole that but are cowards when it comes to actually doing something about it.  Instead of cutting back on the supermarket offers of a "meal deal" and doing it themselves, they double down, instead of making economies of scale they come cap in hand (well they just take it actually) and expect us to have deeper pockets.  We no longer have deep pockets, we don't get anything from all the taxes we pay and it is wearing thin that this bunch of amateurs are allowed to run a country the way they have.  The smart money has gone, inflation is going up, unemployment is rising but not in the public sector where, miracle of miracles they are still employing people on great salaries and gold index linked pensions.  Many having had record pay rises last year are now going back to the handout bowl and asking for more huge pay rises.

It's like the 1970s again.  I am old enough to recall the dark days and the IMF intervention.  They want to take my money, take my children's future for ideological reasons.  I wonder what the uproar will be like if they do in fact bring in these measures?  How on earth they've survived this long in government I don't know.  It would be nice to think that this next round of tax the workers and aged into oblivion will pop the genie out of the bottle but no one seems to be that interested at the moment.  When they find that they can't afford ordinary food let alone their take aways, perhaps then it will matter?

Goodness Me 2006 was a bad year

 I decided that I ought to put the posts from this blog into some sort of order for no other reason than I felt my descendants might like to cure their insomnia! 

It's been quite a journey - I am around 10 months in and now in 2007 at operation 3 and following the first immunotheraphy sessions.  Losing my job and then getting a pre-diabetes warning after following "government guidelines" was a huge shock to add to the others.  In fact as I see it all play out and things less well remembered surface.  I really wished that I knew then what I know now.  Good old hindsight of course.  

The advice to load up on carbs and fruit and vegetables almost gave me Type 2 Diabetes.  FFS!!  There was me worrying about salt intake and I should have been worried about fruit, fruit juice and carbs in all their disguises.  

It is surprisingly (or not) a little upsetting to see the very ill me wrestling with diet, health, treatment, unemployment and so on. And it got worse in many ways before it got better.  

BUT, it did get better and whilst it took 15+ years - I made it and came out the other end.  At one time it looked as if I was going to be a yearly checkup but the science has moved on and so I was discharged a few years ago.

Bringing it all back I am not sure if I am actually enjoying the relived experience.  

Don't We Say Thank You Any More?

 I've probably said this before but it's worth repeating I think.  As a genealogist I look after the one name study and records for the family tree.

I get enquirers and I try and diligently answer their questions and try and give some more detail and suddenly that's it.  I've spent quite some time sorting out complex tree connections, telling them their ancestry sending them documentation and bang, you hear nothing back, not than you, not that they were interested or appreciated the data provided.

I imagine that is what it is like these days.  You don't get thank you cards any more either and you never know if they liked the money you sent them or what they spent it on, even a Facebook Message or email would be something.

We appear to have lost many things in the past 50 years and manners, politeness and chivalry are among the ones I miss the most. 

Well That's Worrying

I watched an interesting podcast last night and at close to an hour long it was a good investment of my time and whilst it reinforces my own views which I understand doesn't give me anything to debate those views it does make me even more concerned at the way we are tracking and how we are probably having our own little car crash where other countries may dodge the bullet.

For my own part I think that there is a global reset coming and a realisation that "the West" has brought upon itself some serious problems.  the BRICs setup is beginning to demonstrate why and the decisions made may years ago in the West are starting to bite (I'd like to say Bigly) as we understand the place in global supply chains.

But that is for another day I guess.  Here, in the UK, things are going to take a turn for the worse.  The podcast looks at the economic situation and of course the political situation too.  Socialist ideology is being applied to a problem of our own making and rather than correcting course it jams the heavy leaden foot onto the accelerator of our impending car crash or train crash or whatever else you want to call it.  I don't know if millionaires and business people are fleeing the country but I did have course to look at the Directors of a company in the UK and I was surprised that their Directors and major shareholders all lived in Dubai - this is a local butchers with an online shop and 10 or more large retail and a big wholesale business outlets.

So maybe those with the money are getting out from the higher taxes we are paying.  People are hunkering down and I am somewhat concerned that increases to corporation and business taxes will start to seriously kill off UK businesses.  A rate reduction down to 4% yesterday when inflation is increasing seems to be a strange way of trying to combat that and it seems that painted into a corner and allegedly, no one really understanding economics either globally or locally,  is going to do for us come October when the Budget is due.  All the indicators are really bad and the Laffer Curve appears to me to be in full play here as the Government spends its way out of trouble.  How on earth the OBR and the Government can get their sums so wrong is worrying and the ONS need to employ people who actually know about, you know, statistics. 

Quite where this leaves us, who knows?  Taxing your way out of a fiscal hole isn't really going to sort it out - I like that they use "Black Hole" as if that makes any difference at all, it is incompetence of the worst kind.  How can you go from £80Bn projected deficit to £121Bn in a few months is ineptitude of the worst kind, surely? (and don't call me Shirley).

Watch the podcast and shudder at what is coming down the line at us and goodness knows how we are going to pick up the pieces.  Finally someone has also talked about the VAT limits and how the vast majority of small trades don't really work beyond February as they approach the VAT Threshold and they don't start work again until 6th April when the new tax year cuts in.  It is blindingly obvious that this happens but as none of these Politicians has done an honest days work in the real world, they don't understand it.  

I suppose I shouldn't be rubbing my hands to see what these clowns do as I do recall the 1976 IMF things and it would be seriously bad to go back there.  If we do we will have something in common with Italy and Greece I suppose! 

I See No Ships

 Only hardships as my old colleague used to say.  A play on Lord Nelson's quote placing the telescope to his blind eye!  But it also encompassed the day-to-day struggles we had at work especially with useless management and people with a complete lack of vision.  People I hoped that I'd never turn into.  Hopefully I succeeded but I suppose that's for others to judge?

You see it all the time this inability to do the job they are paid for, to think ahead and plan for all eventualities, to get the materials for the job and the people for the job to be at the same place at the same time.  I recall being asked to have 20 men on site on a Monday morning which I did have and arriving late to site the customer opened his car boot and gave me a couple of reels of cable.  "So what do you want me to do in 5 minutes time?" I asked.  Where's the materials?  Long story he hadn't organised any or rather he had but it would arrive later in the week and so I promptly charged him for the standing up time and then showed him how to call in a favour.  I called my supplier who was local and asked them for every bit of cable and racks etc they had and could they get them to me ASAP.  They did, in sort measure and a couple of journeys he and I organised the delivery of equipment and we got the job done charging appropriately for the privilege.

It's how I got to work in the IT business proper as they saw I could sort this stuff out.

Today, it appears you don't need to do your job properly judging from the utter nonsense that is going on in this country, neither do you need to understand the actual job you are tasked with doing or be an expert in your field.  I watched the economic figures coming out yesterday and the total lack of awareness of the damage these people are causing by not understanding even basic economics.  Whole industries are having dire straits in this awful oppressive environment of taxation in all of its forms.  As the economy shrinks they believe it is external factors and yet cannot see that their policies are to blame and confidence is flat because we can see that they are driving us over a cliff.  Why they pursue policies based on ideology rather than good old fashioned common sense is beyond me and 99% of the population. 

Typically, the very things bringing the country to its knees is the thing they are keen to do more of!  It's not just this Government either, the previous lot sat on their fat arses and did nothing as well.  They cannot do the basics right, they have no plan, they have no clue how they are  going to get out of this and we are left watching the car crash in slow motion and they cannot see it.  How is that even possible?  

You can actually feel it at last.  People are fed up with this mismanagement and incompetence and it is affecting our safety and security now.  The underlying feeling is that they just don't care, that the more they tax us the better things will be and they miss the fact that external observations of our country, its government and tax regime put off investment.  There's no profit in it for the savvy investor and they can go elsewhere.  It isn't in the gift of the overburdened tax payer to invest into this country mainly because most of the spare money they do have is gone in tax, higher bills etc.  People are hunkering down now, they know what's coming and they aren't spending and that puts us into the spiral that the sown seeds of low confidence and oppression by this poor excuse of a Government will inevitably lead us to and that's a recession (let's hope it isn't a depression).  

These problems are of their own making and they can get out of it but their socialist, Marxist, spiteful policies blind them to the possibilities available to do so.  

Inconsistency of AI

 It amuses me when a website, basically a series of ones and zeros, asks me if I am human?  Likewise, realising that the developer has written something for the beauty of the code not for the easy operation of the user.  Fundamental stuff really.

AI works fine if you know how to use it but the inconsistency is annoying.  I am joining groups on Facebook, just buy and sell groups.  I noticed that after 20 a day they'd halt access thinking that I was a robot.  So I worked out that the most to join per day would be 16 and for many weeks now, I have limited myself to 16 a day and things are fine, I get to join the groups and they get a new user and participant but Oh No, not this morning, Facebook kicked off at me joining 12 groups (well 11 actually, I was trying to do the 12th when it decided that it would halt me doing that operation).

It's like my Instagram page.  I got a message saying that they liked content and I should somehow be encouraged to post more often.  So I upped it to twice a day, not a huge increase if you look at other posters who you know everything they've done since they woke up this morning.  Anyhow, upped the content to two pasts a day whereupon my account gets suspended for spam activity!!  I kid you not.  So hold on, you want content and then you don't.  You ask for me to up my posting for that is what Instagram is all about and you suspend my account for doing so?  I then had to go around the bloody houses and do all sorts of tests to prove I was human and of course, after the sheer inconvenience they tell you that they are protecting me and the users!  A short apology by robot and blow me down if two weeks later they didn't do it again.

This is what is wrong with the way they set up algorithms and the way that AI is used.  It's a lazy way that p1sses off the user - I'm surprised some of them have any users left.  Facebook is turning into a police state.  Oh well, just have to live with it I suppose.  

React Or Ignore

 When the seething anger has subsided and you reflect back on that and try to deal with the inevitable fallout then there's a point where you just no longer react or perhaps don't react so much.  It's a tightrope walk and balance between actually saying what's on your mind or letting the other party reflect on their actions.  I'd like to say that I ignore the bait but I probably react via a facial expression or just move away without any contact whatsoever.

There we are, the walking on eggshells trick and it's tiresome really.  Can I ignore it all or will I react at some point?  Who knows. 

Onward To Hell, In A Handcart

 With origins supposedly about the dead from the Great Plague it conjures a vision of bodies piled high and taken away to be buried.  All a bit Monty Python I imagine and my Tee-Shirt "I'm Not Dead Yet!" refers.  It was the Tee Shirt I purchased when I was ill as no one ever really wanted to ask the "Are you going to die?" question when you told them you had cancer. 

But I wasn't thinking of that, I was just looking at the state of the UK now.  Everywhere you look it seems that there is another car crash of an interview from a Politician who isn't on their game, is completely out of touch with the reality of the situation and who has no idea whatsoever what the problem is because try as they might they cannot see it.

Basic maths would surely assist along with logical thinking or critical thinking.  What we get is cognitive dissonance and surprised looks.  It's desperate out there.  I thought the way that they are handling just about everything is diametrically opposed to what they should be doing.  The record imports of Gas was interesting, it's to help with reaching net zero and we are paying to import it because the network really isn't robust and because we shut our own Gas supplies down?  Other people's Gas must be net zero Gas then?  Of course not.  The economy is just falling apart and "going for growth" probably implies fungal growth I presume as there is nothing growth like about the policies in fact, the opposite and we get ready to double down rather than review and change direction.

I have seen this behaviour all my life where a decision is made that can be plainly seen will end in disaster and yet the manager goes headlong for it.  If you say "That won't work" you are the one who is called out and they increase the speed and the likely impact to smash their project to pieces.  My job, as you may well know by now was to stop that happening or pick up the pieces and Code Red the project.   What surprises people is that sometimes, you cannot save a project and have to close it down and walk away despite protestations it just isn't viable.   A badly specified piece of software, an engineering project that would never work, a project with no defined end point and so on.  

The job was all about risk identification, monitoring, mitigation and review.  I was horrified that not many businesses actually run projects properly (or Programmes for that matter).  People lose sight of what the project was for and all the planning around it was not properly set up at day one.  In today's situation, running the country, there is agreement from many what the problems are and how to tackle them.  I think that today's politicians have no balls, certainly no courage and no experience to do the job we expect them to do.  Brave politicians are few and far between.  Faced with the blindingly obvious issues that they have to deal with, they shirk or side step them.  They do not grasp the problems perhaps and for that alone they shouldn't be in charge.  Neither do they measure the consequences of their actions or more likely inaction and they blink as if sun-blinded at the chaos they themselves have accelerated because they have dealt with it incorrectly.  They throw fuel on the fire and wonder why it burns even more fiercely.  

So here we are, still driving at full speed towards the rail or car crash whichever your preferred method of destruction is.  People are yelling advice and they aren't listening to them.  We, the men and women on the street, at the coal face can see it but they cannot and the road to Armageddon is stoked by SPADs and Civil Servants who have never been in business or practised risk and crisis management and couldn't punch the skin off a rice pudding or fight their way out of a paper bag.

It seems to me to be a disgraceful betrayal of trust for the public that these halfwits and shysters should have access to power and be making such a bad fist of it.  Hell in a Handcart it may well be but when will they actually realise?  I fear it will be too late and once again we find out that following the Dogma of socialism will make us all poorer, it always has and doing it over again hoping for the desired Utopian outcome never works.  But you try telling that to them.  Try showing them the facts and figures and they won't believe you until it all comes crashing down around them and they struggle to comprehend why?  How did this happen? We know it will not be their own fault, far from it.  It will be those useless voters who should have worked harder and paid more taxes.  It's never their own fault, never!

So You'd Better Watch Out!

 I've never liked threats and I have never liked being told what to do.  Threats are made by people who cannot articulate clearly what is going on in their head and lack a basic vocabulary to express this and so resort to physical or verbal (mainly) intimidation.  So I get they might be angry and upset but when did yelling at me either in person or second hand written ever settle whatever is wrong in their heads.  It may momentarily ease their angst but actually, in trying to put right whatever is wrong, antagonizing the very person you want to sort things out for you isn't actually going to get you far.  Not with me because when I dig my heels in, I very rarely move.

And then there's telling me what to do.  Expressed in a way that suggests team work and assistance and gratefulness for me doing something for you which I am not obliged to do and isn't what I was going to do can work.  However just ordering me to do something without a reasonable reason, thought through and encouraging me to do whatever it is really does not work at all and many have found to their cost that when I say no, I mean NO.  Very un-English of me I must say but it's not some sort of arse kissing exercise.  We say yes too often, we try and help out and generally, as I have found to my cost, I end up getting screwed to the wall for the other parties failure to recognize that they asked for me to do something in the first place.  I lose count of the disappointments and my time and money wasted on these people.

The recent flying off the handle coming out of the blue after years of looking after them is a case in point.  Who ends a letter that cuts off all future contact and commercial and contractual relationships with "if you don't do <certain action> or else!"  I mean really? In writing you threaten me although what "Or else" actually might be can be argued but I think "Or else" instead of "Yours faithfully" could be construed as a threat.  I had done the action, the letters crossed in the post and so whatever "Or else" might have been I imagine has gone away.

Doubling down on that some time later I wonder what thought process goes through people's heads that threats and accusations are necessary when to pick up the phone which I tried, isn't the very first thing you do stating what your problem is and let's fix it.  People don't act like that anymore do they?  I used to say that if there was any sort of problem, especially in business you've got to "Eat the frog" and go and sort it out, you cannot let things fester and you cannot ignore it especially if it is your customer.  So many people didn't get it.  They'd be frightened and sure some customers could yell at you or swear at you so just put the phone down and when they said we got cut off tell them that they need to discuss these things properly.  

It used to infuriate the boss when you'd find there was a problem, ring up the customer, go and actually see them, tell them what the problem is and how you intend to fix it.  If they were worth their mettle they'd understand and appreciate your candour and that you would sort it out, cr@p happens, deliveries get lost, things get broken and so on.  Own up and sort it out.  Of course, my boss who liked to get involved (this actually for 95% of the bosses I ever worked with) would go to the customer and not inform me or ask and come up with some pack of lies (never lie unless you have a great brain) and the customer would often let them know that it was all under control and they'd be exposed as liars.  Then the boss would get angry LOL.  I'd then explain why they should always ask the person in charge (me) before setting off on a Propaganda mission.  They'd never learn though and do something similar shortly afterwards.

So, I have found the recent set of threats quite disturbing but that's from the betrayal of the action.  You never really know people even having worked with them for over a decade.  The threats are all made and amount to nothing and are barely worth a worrying about now but it's taken me a good 5 months to regain my equilibrium.  The thing about people throwing accusations and the slings and arrows is that you can gather all the bile and hatred and return them with interest later on.  Again, telling me to "watch out or else" will come back to haunt them (if it ever goes that far which I doubt)  as you just turn the tables and present facts and figures without anger and hysteria back, arguing each point, stating the truths of the matter and one by one countering their claims.  There's no need to tell them to "watch out or else" as the point by point destruction of their points and the little outbursts dissolve from view.

Official I Am Clearly Too Old

 Yes, I don't feel any of my 68 years at all.  I'd say I felt 40 or 50 maybe.  It is strange, but of course things happen that bring you screaming up to date with your age and frailty.

I had to wait for help to put up some scaffold to change our light fitting in the high apex of our dining room roof.  Before I had used steps but it was precarious to say the least and I had scaffold available and should have used that really then.  Of curse the damn thing got a fault and we had to change it.  The scaffold was ordered to be used by the other half who rightly so, suggested that it would be safer (for a man of my age probably whispered).

It is very light and easy to assemble but I still needed assistance as the fitting is big and cumbersome and awkward to hold etc.  The first thing I noticed was that I had difficulty getting over the trapdoor and onto the platform.  I then had the problem of balancing and trying to support the light and disconnecting and reconnecting the new one.  This resulted in shaking hands - not good when trying to do up electrical contacts LOL!

So, it was all quick and relatively painless but I wouldn't want to do it again.  I find that things I used to do when I was younger like that are just difficult now, I am reasonably fit, I wasn't for example puffing and wheezing with the effort but it was the bending and stretching and lifting myself through the trap door that was difficult.  I could easily carry the scaffold and move it around but I must start to realise my limitations.

It's Tough At The Top

 It is and it's lonely too.  I like the references to my now solo business venture and to those who think it is easy, it's anything but.  It's stressful and a minefield of red tape and I haven't turned a buck yet!  Ten years it has taken and it still isn't finished and indeed I have had to compromise yet again and only get half of the product to sell because of the incompetence of one party and the irrational behaviour of the other.

It really is a bloody nuisance and I think I perhaps should have walked away when the irrational person threw his toys out of the pram and left me in the sh1t not that he thinks like that of course.  He wants nothing to do with it but keeps coming back for a little bite here and there.  Reminds me of these thugs who lose a fight and then come back and do something stupid to someone else in revenge (seen it loads of times).  I am now ignoring it and whether or not it will go away remains to be seen.

Everyone knows what you are going through and yet, in reality, no one does.  Full of advice about how to run a business when they never have.  The vast majority of my acquaintances were employees in large corporate companies or public sector and so have little direct experience of the angst of running a business other than reading about it I suppose.

So there we are, I am on my own, battling opposing factions on a business that hasn't any revenue and has only spent a shed load of money over the years.  Great, I was hoping that retirement would bring something other than this.  I hope that my fortitude will shine through but I am really beginning to have my doubts about it as it has slipped another month and soon it will be a whole year since we made a go no go decision to launch at Christmas last year!  

Disheartened and somewhat lonely sum it up and they have the cheek to ask me what I have been doing when the business has had three false launches and we look like incompetent idiots and all the work has been done to launch with all the sales and marketing available and poised.

Not a good day today at all.

A Quiet House

 It is quiet, just me here since very early and I've got all my chores done and it isn't even 9 am - so the rest of the day is my own.  I'd like to go for a walk but there is a threat of Thunderstorms and torrential rain so that is out of the possibles list.  Perhaps I will tidy up some of my office to get started and perhaps do some work on my clothes which need sorting out - perhaps put away my winter stuff at least.

The scaffold is moved into the house for me to change the light fitting and so tomorrow I can change over the central light fitting to one that works and doesn't flash intermittently! 

Yes, I can get some stuff done here with just me to get in the way of progress :-)

None Of Your Business

 People can be bloody strange.  I follow someone on Facebook, I doubt you'd know him, but he's an excellent singer for a Prog Band.  He's interesting, funny and a great vocalist.  So he posts about his friend who has been his best friend for 30+ years and some follower says "Tell me you're not gay?"  which got a very good response but who are these people?  What business of theirs is it that you feel you can ask that question, in that way?  I follow him because he is a great vocalist and an interesting person and how he lives his life is totally up to him.  I wouldn't even question that out of malice or curiosity. How dare they.

That's the problem I also have from people who seem to want to know my inside leg measurement although I haven't been asked if I am gay yet!!  So the madness of the chap that totally disassociated himself from me has reared it's ugly head yet again and he wants to know stuff that he's no longer entitled to.  Wants reassurances about this and that, how I am doing things and performance data to which he is no longer entitled.  The various interpretations of "I never want to deal with you again" come down to one undeniable interpretation of that statement I would have thought?  I entertained the first request but this shall go ignored as it is none of his business, literally.

So there you go people are strange and emboldened by letter, text and social media.  It's none of their damn business and it is creepy too.  Why do they want to know, what "rights" do they have to that information, why are the sitting in judgement over you?  Who knows what goes through their heads - probably nothing, they don't consider or think.  Arseholes! 

Who Are These People?

 I have to ask this as the past 15 or more years the "quality" of politicians has eroded to such an extent that the lab rat joke now applies to them.

The Rat Lab Joke?  It goes something like the fact that they have substituted Lab Rats for (lawyers) Politicians.  It's no great loss to society and the Lab technicians don't get attached to them!

These myopic, ideologists do not appear to have any moral compass or any analytical abilities.  They cannot think in big terms and so they make stove piped decisions that screw up other areas of the economy or international relations.  They don't resign when they are wrong or when they do something wrong.  Gone are those days where a politician would resign over a matter of honour or because they disagreed with policy or indeed they had done something wrong either in the job or on the side!

They have no grasp that they are there to serve the people and not themselves, they lack empathy and cannot work out why people are angry with them and the decisions they make.  The ivory towers of political life and the do what I say not what I do hypocrisy is off the scale.  "The Foreman's job is mine at last.... The working class can kiss my arse!" as the old song goes and the slow and painful car or rail crash is still happening in very slow motion and they are the only people who cannot see it.  I say slow motion but it is beginning to mount up now and shades of 1976 are ringing in my ears.  I had not long started work and this country shipwrecked itself and was salvaged by the IMF.  Have a look at THIS Debt Clock and we are potentially £4 trillion in debt and this clock shows the debt running up.  They have to take a loan to service the debt.

Of course, their policies are now reaping the opposite of what they wanted, high energy costs, upping minimum wages, increasing National Insurance and all the other measures finally brings the rewards that they (I hope) didn't plan.  High Streets look quiet and shops are shutting along with hospitality venues too.  The solution I imagine will be to tax harder and deeper and so eventually it will destroy what's left.  They never learn this lesson.  Every time they come in to power they do this.   More public services does not bring money into the country and the Laffer Curve proves right, once again.

Nothing I can do about it other than watch the crash and hope it doesn't overly affect me and my family.  Mind you, our politicians presiding over running the country into the ground and letting it go to the dogs cannot see any problems and are totally disconnected from the very people they say they are there to serve!

Keto Carnivore Or Diet Bore?

 Here's an interesting thing.  I am losing weight, not where I want to from around my stomach although the side handles are almost gone.  I am losing weight on my arms and legs, neck and some areas at the side of my body.  I decided that the beer drinking had to go even though I was losing some weight even whilst drinking and that the Keto diet I was on seemed to work for a while using the LCHF, (Low Carbohydrate High Fat) approach.  So I have switched to the Carnivore (including Fish) diet, high fat, high meat and fish and low to zero carbs.  I don't have any vegetables now and I do have butter, cheese and the like. In place of beer, fizzy water and coffee still plays a part.

I also intermittently fast which takes the form of not eating until (as long as I can) gone midday even as far as 2 pm. 5 days a week.  Two days a week I have breakfast but I then try and last until mid to late afternoon.  So far so good, if I get hungry then I'll eat, if I don't I won't.

Results?  weight loss around 2 inches around the waist, noticeable looseness around wrists and wight off of the thighs too.  midriff side handles almost gone.  Blood pressure down significantly now around 120 / 80 most of the time. 

So I am pleased with that.  I am going to keep on the carnivore approach (some call it Paleo or Caveman diet).  I feel good, my skin feels good, I just need to lose this middle stomach bit which is going down gradually.  AS I often say, you didn't get fat in a week so don't expect to lose it all in a week or a month.  It will slowly work its way off, you just have to follow the process.

Missing the beer of course but I think that I can just have the occasional one or two when I am out and as long as it is occasional it is manageable.     

Taking Back Control

 Yes, the process of taking back control has begun and just a small victory so far in consolidating a load of electrical bits and throwing stuff out.  It is a little victory but it is also a start and it gets things moving slowly and steadily.  Of course, I found the fuses I was looking for last week and had to reorder! So I now have hundreds of small glass fuses!   Oh well, at least the car adaptors are working once again.

All the lamps are now together in one box which starts to help and the fuses are in two locations with the electrical tools and the small tool box with all the hobby tools in it.  So now, I can start to do one or two things a day and get organised and also start to make a little room.  It's no use doing it all at once as that would be a little depressing and a lot of hard work and the task is monumental.  Little steps, little victories, gradual reorganisation and results will come.  

I feel a lot better, no booze despite the temptation to have some and now the next stages gradually come together as I tackle a little at a time.  I think the overall thing is daunting but if you can just tackle small areas at a time it can get resolved.  I now need to also start throwing stuff away which will make room and giving stuff away too.  It's sat here for months if not years just in case...

"Slowly, Slowly, Catchy Monkey" or sometimes "Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey" comes to mind.  An old phrase you used to hear a lot but not so much these days.  We will get there and if I only do 10 minutes a day - it will be progress.  

A Few Days Away - What The Doctor Ordered?

If you can ever see a Doctor of course.  Yes, apart from a hold up on the M25 on the way and one on the way back adding 3 hours and 1 hour respectively, it was OK.  The carnage of traffic controls ill thought through and the sight of workmen not even working on the road but sat in their vans was annoying to state the least.  It was a bit anxious sitting in crawling traffic surrounded by huge lorries and I hope the Police dealt with the cars and lorries going through the Red flashing lane closed signs.

So I saw my mum, she's looking frail and walking slowly now with her trolley.  Bloody lock-down did for our elderly as she was quite fit until they imposed restrictions and made her more sedentary.  So where we used to quite happily wander around town she now needs to take short breath stops every 100 yards or so.

The good thing is that I am feeling much better, my shakes are almost gone and I feel a lot better and a lot of the stress has gone too.  This is good and I hope that I will now build on this and I have a few ideas what to do and how to tackle things.  There's a lot to be done and I need to motivate myself to tackle it.  Elephant eating will have to be the name of the game and a gradual tackling of tasks will be needed.  

Feeling better so that's good and the main thing, certainly I am not feeling nearly as stressed out as I was before I went. 

 

General Observations

I am definitely not firing on all cylinders at the moment, my voice is gravelly (stress) and I have idiots all around me and worse than that, they appear entitled, opinionated, loud and wrong.

This entitlement is bordering on the absurd and is in no way reflective of the reality of the situation (Recollections May Vary).  When you paint yourself into a corner the only way out with any honour is to understand that you've done the deed to yourself and then to apologise and try and work your way out.  Fighting may be a cornered animal's option but you should have the wit to work out what you've done and how to get out of it but, no, you can't because you are full of hatred and the sad, very sad thing is, you completely did this to yourself and then doubled down - twice.  

I've another who doesn't get that he hasn't delivered once on his schedule in 8 years.  Not once have we hit a deadline or milestone even if I have given him room to review, thinks about it and still, still we aren't there.  A person who slips a deliverable a day before it is due by nine months surely doesn't know what he is doing?  You can have bad luck of course but so often and so similar?  

Hypocrisy is another thing isn't it.  Telling me that you stand for certain inalienable rights and support those who are severely affected whilst at the very same time delivering the coercive behaviour to me you say you so abhor?  Strange that and the irony isn't noticed and once again, it's my fault!   

So 4 days away will sort me out a bit here.  I'm OK with it and I'm sure that I can iron my head out a bit whilst I am away.  I know what I need to do, I just cannot face the reality of that at the moment.  If that seems logical?  It's "Eat The Frog" time again and I'm putting it off and trying to believe that it will all be right when of course it never is, never will be and I myself am now painted and backed into a corner.  I know the way out of it, but I'm a little too cowardly to face the truth of that and do anything about it.  I know just how disruptive the answer is going to be! 

A few days will straighten that thinking out and we will see where we go from there.  

A Short Break

 I'm looking forward to a short break I have to say.  I need it and the pressures (inevitably that I heap onto myself) are just making my life a bit of a misery at the moment.  I still feel a little sick, I notice my hands shaking and I know that I need to do something about it.

Hopefully it will get a little easier if I do not think about it too much?  The trouble is that it makes me inactive and I don't do anything to get out of the rut.  It's been like this on and off for years.  I have to come back from this break with a plan to actually do something about it all, the business, my life, where I want to go from here.  

Fingers crossed that I can sort it out on my return.