Weekend

That was fun - a weekend in Margate with Flocky Bicep and another friend and we had our usual strange times there. It is always a bit of an unusual experience in Margate, I don't know what it is but you meet a whole swathe of different people. We had an interesting crawl of the pubs including one that we always go and see as it is just, well, how can I say this, weird would be an understatement. We then wandered into town but it looked as if our favourite Chinese Restaurant had close down so we ended up at an Indian Restaurant which was OK but I have to say I wasn't particularly clever the next morning. We went to a micro brewery which was nice - some great beers and ciders but the last cider I tasted was so dry that it felt like a Harry Potter Death Eater was sucking all the soul (and moisture) out of my body. I had to leave half of it which is almost unheard of.

We were up early next day for the Provincial Meeting and met a lot of people we haven't seen for some time and then had a beer with friends (after the lunch) went back to the Hotel and went to Broadstairs for the evening. Our taxi driver was great giving us a running commentary on where to go and what to see, she warned us away from the "youth pubs" and suggested places to eat etc. We eventually ate at a very nice Restaurant which was reassuringly expensive and had a wonderful meal. The local pubs however weren't that good but the wine bar we frequented last time we were there was very good.

We had breakfast this morning and came home in time to allow me to see the Grand Prix and to fall asleep in my chair for the remainder of the afternoon. These late nights and all day sessions do take it out of you though!

It was nice to sit outside the Hotel on the Terrace on both nights and chat to my friends about my dad and what's going on. I have some ideas that I can pass on based on things they said and also I don't feel quite so bad about myself as I did before I went. Let's give you a flavour of why I should feel bad. I phoned my brother and asked where they doing anything for dad's birthday in a couple of weeks time. The reasons was that it is my father-in-laws 90th and my Nephew's 30th that same weekend and my sister in law was planning a party and that was one of the days. "No we aren't planning anything" was the reply so I went ahead and have now booked that all up, the girls will be coming home and everything is planned and Friday I hear from my brother that they now are planning something and can I come up? So there you go, it's probably his last birthday and they are having a meal and I - and none of my family will be there.

I also had one of "those" conversations with my brother's wife. When I phoned up on Friday to let him know I was away for the weekend but on the phone she answered which surprised me. I said that he's normally working at home on Friday and then got the well because of your dad and us running him around he had to go in today. I can't impress upon you the way this is said to me but so far, I've been pretty good about it, I've been pretty much one for giving the benefit of the doubt and for exercising the very real possibility that I'm pretty sensitive about my father dying. Therefore, it may well be me that has the problem. However, I was pretty put out with the way these things are happening and the way that I'm being made to feel guilty about this or that there's some "conspiracy" which is just ridiculous right? When I spoke to my brother I told him that I was somewhat surprised that, after I'd spoken to him about being up for dad's birthday, explaining my situation etc that they'd gone ahead and booked it and that I'd just found out about it after organising or agreeing to a date down here. It had been a last minute decision apparently - well in two weeks time it would be a last minute decision.

I gotta stop getting worked up about this. I'm really waiting to hear what the outcome of the meeting on the 4th October (don't worry we'll look after your dad) exposes. Dad says he doesn't want invasive surgery, my brother says that he may now have slightly altered his opinion on this but we shall see. My brother tells me that dad now believes that there is something wrong with him, by which I understand that he now realises what he has, is coming out of anger and denial and beginning to think sensibly about his options.

I just hope I can get some sleep again tonight without the aid of alcohol as I hardly slept a wink on Thursday night.