Finding yourself with nothing to do and in addition waiting for something to happen which is completely out of your control isn't a good place to be I've decided. As luck would have it, as I started this post, Flocky Bicep reminded me that Coffee at Costa was on the cards and I walked up to the local shop - missing the rain - and had a nice couple of coffees. Not sure I was the best of company - I'm not really great to be around at the moment - I'm sort of not my usual cheerful, funny self at all and I've gone into my Introvert side which I am prone to do at times like this.
I suppose it's that realisation that I'm not now suited to being back in Corporate life any more, I'm too difficult to handle and too much the Maverick to find suitable employment in an ordered and structured environment. Although I create order and structure as part of my job, I cannot live in a place where I'm doing "business as normal" the same thing day in and day out, I have to be building, troubleshooting or just doing something constructive.
Coming to terms with this is what's making me the brooding inward looking me at the moment. Not a great place to be for me or anyone else around me. I do lift myself out of it but for only very short periods of time before getting back to this mourning for a life that I can't have any more. Oh well, it's only temporary and I'll get over it eventually :-)
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