Had a long chat today about dad and it was quite enlightening "talking about dad" you see I found a photo which is here by my desk and whilst I occasionally get brought up short by it, the majority of times I look at it and smile. You see he was a a nice guy and he and mum were very close and that's great. It may not be my ideal of a relationship, I didn't know him at all well after they moved away and so that also meant that the time I had with him was very good.
Because of that, it's OK to be happy that he is no longer so ill as he was, that he is at peace and that he is troubled no more. We spoke about how "bad" things were over the 11 months he was ill. Whilst this is true, it isn't anything we could have changed, it wasn't in our power. Mum thought dad didn't know how ill he was. That's interesting as I reckon if you'd have been told it was terminal you'd have a bit of a clue. I did however concur that I never really took it quite as seriously as perhaps I might. By that I mean I had a life threatening, seriously nasty disease that did affect me a lot more than I thought but I never really realised that.
Anyway, it was nice to have a long chat and also discuss the possibility of going away for a week taking mum with us. Hope that I can arrange that a little later this coming month.
Now to get ready for my cysto tomorrow morning. I am going to just sit on my backside when I get back from that.
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