Monday, February 11, 2008

Suddenly it is all matter of fact

I was just reading the previous post. It sounded more like a press release than me talking. Such is the ongoing normalness of such things like treatment and operations that it is just something that happens to me now.

Before I used to be all wound up about it but it appears to me to be part of my every day life now.

My friend in Canterbury asked me if I feared anything these days? I thought that was a strange question but I was able to answer that no I didn't fear anything now. I can still get angry or anxious but I don't fear things anymore. There is probably a good reason behind his question but there is something quite refreshing about being a cancer survivor. You don't take prisoners anymore and you deal with shallow people in a very assertive way. You don't worry too much about things - what is the worst that can happen?

Having said that - I am pretty bent out of shape by the stuff going on around the Tribunal but again, what is the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is that I lose the case. Is that fear or just anger?

Anyway, I am just surprised at myself for being so matter of fact about getting the treatment, having an operation and all of that. That is a big change in less than a year.

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