I reckon it has got to be a combination of the mid life crisis - the relief of getting past having cancer and the loss of 7 months work (my time) last year that is giving me these sleepless nights. This isn't laying awake worrying about anything. This is laying awake replaying past things, formulating plans and my mind going off on "what if" scenario plans. This is major activity and it isn't switching itself off like it used to. My brain does this all day long at the moment.
I cannot easily stop this processing of data though as it is pretty important if I am going to make a dash for the hills and get out of my past life and into my new one. I need to make sure I am making the right decisions. I mean after all, do I burn my bridges and just go off and do this (highly unlike me to do that)? Do I gradually change into this new role? Do I "big bang" this and emerge as if from a chrysalis Monday morning a new me?
It feels to me as if it is a mid life crisis fueled and brought on by the bladder cancer and the realisation that I am mortal. It is just such a big departure from my everyday cautious self - or is it? Let's face it all I am doing at the moment is typical due diligence and risk analysis - what I haven't brought to the surface or perhaps this is in the back of my mind is the risk and consequence of failure?
I think I think too much. Such is the curse of an INTJ!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Friday, January 04, 2008
Week one
Out of the way, some research started and some ideas are coming together now. I have an inkling of how I can bring this together and some ideas of costs to set up and prices to charge and how that could be achieved.
I'm just going to do some research on my own tree to see how difficult it can be to do the detective work for others. I am making it difficult to find the data by using wider searches and trying alternative spellings (something all too common in this business).
I'm hoping for a bit more inspiration over the next few days and to give myself an opportunity to work out a plan to get the idea to market. It is a little more complex than I first thought mainly due to the way that the web site will need to be structured and the high level of automation I will need to ensure it runs when I am not in the office. This will mean some time to specify what I need and a while to develop the site an the merchant account and shopping basket for it. It is good stuff - I just need to immerse myself in it a bit further so that it gets exciting. I'm not at excited yet - I am at skeptical still.
I'm just going to do some research on my own tree to see how difficult it can be to do the detective work for others. I am making it difficult to find the data by using wider searches and trying alternative spellings (something all too common in this business).
I'm hoping for a bit more inspiration over the next few days and to give myself an opportunity to work out a plan to get the idea to market. It is a little more complex than I first thought mainly due to the way that the web site will need to be structured and the high level of automation I will need to ensure it runs when I am not in the office. This will mean some time to specify what I need and a while to develop the site an the merchant account and shopping basket for it. It is good stuff - I just need to immerse myself in it a bit further so that it gets exciting. I'm not at excited yet - I am at skeptical still.
The morning blues
It is the 4th January 2008 and already I'm getting tested. A nice job came in the e-mail this morning. It would pay the bills, be easy enough to do and be a way of recouping losses on the previous venture but my heart just isn't in it. I really am quite anti getting back involved with anything to do with IT, project management or anything like it. I get tired of telling people what is wrong (what I am paid to do) only for them to yell at me and say I'm wrong and then their whole organisation comes crashing down like a pack of cards and somehow it is my fault.
You may detect a slight flash of anger in that last sentence :-) It does make my blood boil how many times this has happened and how often the problems are identified and various strategies are produced to manage around or past the problem and n one listens or does anything. When the worst happens no one can quite believe it and they all look like creatures emerging from the dark blinking in the sunlight.
So, better off out of it but it makes me feel almost empty to be leaving that all behind. I know I should do it for my health and for my sanity but turning your back on something you've done for most of your life is actually a lot more difficult than you'd think. Anyway, having said that there is an empty feeling there is also a growing idea for the new business which will keep me focused and hopefully get me over this uncomfortable period I am going through now. I imagine it is like getting a divorce or losing a loved one as it feels to be a great part of your life being removed.
You may detect a slight flash of anger in that last sentence :-) It does make my blood boil how many times this has happened and how often the problems are identified and various strategies are produced to manage around or past the problem and n one listens or does anything. When the worst happens no one can quite believe it and they all look like creatures emerging from the dark blinking in the sunlight.
So, better off out of it but it makes me feel almost empty to be leaving that all behind. I know I should do it for my health and for my sanity but turning your back on something you've done for most of your life is actually a lot more difficult than you'd think. Anyway, having said that there is an empty feeling there is also a growing idea for the new business which will keep me focused and hopefully get me over this uncomfortable period I am going through now. I imagine it is like getting a divorce or losing a loved one as it feels to be a great part of your life being removed.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Well I've gone and done it
Prompted by an earlier comment I thought why not? So I have put my name forward for consideration for this gig in Chicago in August. I have already written most of the paper and would have to add about another 40 minutes to make it a 1 hour talk.
It should be interesting to see if they fancy me delivering this piece as I'm not a recognised academic. However, I have been published using the same material on three separate occasions so who knows? I now need to wait and see what happens. Final places are awarded in March. Wish me luck.
It should be interesting to see if they fancy me delivering this piece as I'm not a recognised academic. However, I have been published using the same material on three separate occasions so who knows? I now need to wait and see what happens. Final places are awarded in March. Wish me luck.
Bigger decision than I thought it would be
It is quite a taxing problem to deal with. You can kick around all the pros and cons of running a totally new business and to make something that I am a "good amateur" at into a profession. My business training alone will allow me to control all of the day to day things that need to be done.
Surprisingly for what appears a simple business they are a bit daunting as the plans need to include for a level of web based automation as I wont be sitting at the phones or at my PC 24 x 7. This then leads onto the real difference between being an amateur and a professional and having put the time in to make a business that actually works and that isn't a hobby bringing in the odd bit of beer money.
It is taking the first step that is the difficult bit. I remember setting up my own business 10 years ago and having to do exactly that, take that first step into the unknown. Once I had done that, it wasn't so bad and I adapted quickly and the business went along nicely. this time, I'm that much older, in an industry that is potentially one of 80% amateurs and 20% who know what they are about. The first step is the one.
Then there is all the re-branding to be done - I would imagine that it would be quite a conversation piece and that word of mouth and networking will be useful but when was the last time that finding a researcher came up in conversation? It is more than that though - it is like moving away and leaving all your friends behind. Going to a far away land and leaving all the comforts behind, breaking routines, getting outside of your comfort zone and - more than likely - breaking all of those habits I've built up over the past 10 or 20 years.
That is where the battle is taking place at the moment - not that I can't do the job, not that the technical challenges cannot be met - as I know they can but it is the actual getting up and doing it that is hard. The biggest rut you have to get out of is the rut you are in. The most uncomfortable thing about this is that it is the unknown that holds part of me back and yet the other half of me is screaming "do it!" The rational and the emotional are having a good old fight at the moment. Breaking the bonds I can feel them tearing away one by one as I slowly pull myself out of the baggage of 30 years of supervising other people :-)
I'm sure it will all work out OK in the end. I just hate the procrastination bit I have to go through (the curse of the Project Manager's mindset) as I weigh the options the risks, work out contingencies and all that good stuff. Unfortunately that is me and how I am. It would be good once in a while just to go off and do something on a whim though :-) It would terrify me but a lot of people run their whole lives like that! Wow - exciting...
Enough thoughts for this afternoon - I am getting on with some much needed admin and cleaning up my office.
Surprisingly for what appears a simple business they are a bit daunting as the plans need to include for a level of web based automation as I wont be sitting at the phones or at my PC 24 x 7. This then leads onto the real difference between being an amateur and a professional and having put the time in to make a business that actually works and that isn't a hobby bringing in the odd bit of beer money.
It is taking the first step that is the difficult bit. I remember setting up my own business 10 years ago and having to do exactly that, take that first step into the unknown. Once I had done that, it wasn't so bad and I adapted quickly and the business went along nicely. this time, I'm that much older, in an industry that is potentially one of 80% amateurs and 20% who know what they are about. The first step is the one.
Then there is all the re-branding to be done - I would imagine that it would be quite a conversation piece and that word of mouth and networking will be useful but when was the last time that finding a researcher came up in conversation? It is more than that though - it is like moving away and leaving all your friends behind. Going to a far away land and leaving all the comforts behind, breaking routines, getting outside of your comfort zone and - more than likely - breaking all of those habits I've built up over the past 10 or 20 years.
That is where the battle is taking place at the moment - not that I can't do the job, not that the technical challenges cannot be met - as I know they can but it is the actual getting up and doing it that is hard. The biggest rut you have to get out of is the rut you are in. The most uncomfortable thing about this is that it is the unknown that holds part of me back and yet the other half of me is screaming "do it!" The rational and the emotional are having a good old fight at the moment. Breaking the bonds I can feel them tearing away one by one as I slowly pull myself out of the baggage of 30 years of supervising other people :-)
I'm sure it will all work out OK in the end. I just hate the procrastination bit I have to go through (the curse of the Project Manager's mindset) as I weigh the options the risks, work out contingencies and all that good stuff. Unfortunately that is me and how I am. It would be good once in a while just to go off and do something on a whim though :-) It would terrify me but a lot of people run their whole lives like that! Wow - exciting...
Enough thoughts for this afternoon - I am getting on with some much needed admin and cleaning up my office.
To be or not to be
And all that malarkey.
I've been invited to submit a paper for inclusion in a convention in Chicago in August this year. I'd love to do it. I need now to convince the wife and children that they would far rather go to Chicago than to New Zealand where I was originally planning to go. Of course - everyone also has an idea where "they" want to go as well - one is possibly heading for University and the other is probably old enough to go with her friends on a holiday with them.
Decisions, decisions. If I go to Chicago I can present some of the research I have been doing for a number of years and perhaps kick start my new career. That would probably mean that I'd be hanging around at a convention for a week whilst the other 3 might be bored out of their minds. Oh well - I have about 2 weeks to make my submission - wish me well as I am not sure who will win this round of "negotiations" . From a totally selfish point of view I really do fancy doing it this time - I was invited a few years ago but really could not afford it and I hadn't prepared my papers either. Since then I have been published a few times so perhaps that would sway the organisers.
I've been invited to submit a paper for inclusion in a convention in Chicago in August this year. I'd love to do it. I need now to convince the wife and children that they would far rather go to Chicago than to New Zealand where I was originally planning to go. Of course - everyone also has an idea where "they" want to go as well - one is possibly heading for University and the other is probably old enough to go with her friends on a holiday with them.
Decisions, decisions. If I go to Chicago I can present some of the research I have been doing for a number of years and perhaps kick start my new career. That would probably mean that I'd be hanging around at a convention for a week whilst the other 3 might be bored out of their minds. Oh well - I have about 2 weeks to make my submission - wish me well as I am not sure who will win this round of "negotiations" . From a totally selfish point of view I really do fancy doing it this time - I was invited a few years ago but really could not afford it and I hadn't prepared my papers either. Since then I have been published a few times so perhaps that would sway the organisers.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
All that Jazz
First Wednesday in the Month. For almost 20 years I have been going to the first Wednesday Jazz evening. Subsidised beer and a cheap entrance fee and as much live Trad Jazz s you can handle with warm real ale too! Heaven.
It was a good evening and well worth the walk out in the cold air. We will be getting snow tomorrow - probably the remnants of the US storms of last week - it usually is - and with a few centimetres of dust settling we will probably bring the whole country to a standstill! We can manage this on a few old leaves in Autumn (Fall) or a few flakes of the "wrong sort of snow". Global Warming has yet to kick in around these parts. Roll on the days of mediterranean summers, grape vines in the back garden etc!
I have to say that I am in a really good mood at last after this evening. I hope to have put most of the recent rubbish behind me for at least a day!
It was a good evening and well worth the walk out in the cold air. We will be getting snow tomorrow - probably the remnants of the US storms of last week - it usually is - and with a few centimetres of dust settling we will probably bring the whole country to a standstill! We can manage this on a few old leaves in Autumn (Fall) or a few flakes of the "wrong sort of snow". Global Warming has yet to kick in around these parts. Roll on the days of mediterranean summers, grape vines in the back garden etc!
I have to say that I am in a really good mood at last after this evening. I hope to have put most of the recent rubbish behind me for at least a day!
Deliberations begin
I'm starting today to set in motion my deliberations for changing my career altogether and taking on a researcher based role focused on family history. The changes to life and what I have done for most of my 35 year working life are immense although, to be fair, I have come a long way from being an Apprentice Electrician to someone who Manages IT and business projects and programmes.
The problem as always with such things is whether or not you have the willingness to change and whether or not you feel you can do it in such a way as to achieve your personal and family commitments. It is all very well having a calling or perhaps a vocation but if it doesn't pay the bills then it is a bit pie in the sky.
The next few weeks will be critical in sorting this out I suppose. I'd like to think that it is all a done deal and that I will do this. There is no doubt that I would enjoy it and make a good "go" of it too. It is the heavy injection of realism that I need to make sure that whatever I do I am not back in the same position as I am now.
The problem as always with such things is whether or not you have the willingness to change and whether or not you feel you can do it in such a way as to achieve your personal and family commitments. It is all very well having a calling or perhaps a vocation but if it doesn't pay the bills then it is a bit pie in the sky.
The next few weeks will be critical in sorting this out I suppose. I'd like to think that it is all a done deal and that I will do this. There is no doubt that I would enjoy it and make a good "go" of it too. It is the heavy injection of realism that I need to make sure that whatever I do I am not back in the same position as I am now.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
New Year here we go
I have been battling with the "what's holding you back?" question these past few days. It is that old nugget - the fear of change itself.
I think that the change will be a good thing albeit that there is bound to be an initial stress level caused by whether or not I can make a go of this. I think once I can work my way through these "obvious" objections I can begin to work out some more of the practicalities.
As is usual I like to plan and spend time making sure I understand the market and that I set things up correctly. I think that 2008 is going to be interesting.
As for health - well I go back on treatment in a few weeks time - another 3 BCG Instillations - Oh and I have to give a pee sample in a few weeks too. Then 12 weeks after I get to go back in for an operation for biopsies - Great - NOT! Oh well, all in a good cause.
I think that the change will be a good thing albeit that there is bound to be an initial stress level caused by whether or not I can make a go of this. I think once I can work my way through these "obvious" objections I can begin to work out some more of the practicalities.
As is usual I like to plan and spend time making sure I understand the market and that I set things up correctly. I think that 2008 is going to be interesting.
As for health - well I go back on treatment in a few weeks time - another 3 BCG Instillations - Oh and I have to give a pee sample in a few weeks too. Then 12 weeks after I get to go back in for an operation for biopsies - Great - NOT! Oh well, all in a good cause.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Another Resource
This is an excellent resource. I'd like to thank one of the people who kindly stopped by this site who obviously has a lot to do with putting together this excellent resource on Kidney and Bladder and the other related Cancers
http://www.kidneycancerresource.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
http://www.kidneycancerresource.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
Same but different
I looked back at last December's posts. There I am, still having problems getting to sleep and still thinking and wondering and planning. Mmmm, perhaps then there is a case here for letting things happen? My Mantra of "those who fail to plan, plan to fail" may be wearing a bit thin if, after all that planning last year, I failed anyway?
But, let's look on the bright side of this - last year I had Bladder Cancer, this year I don't have it any more. Last year it was a roll of the dice whether the treatment would work, now we know it did. I had a great job then, I don't have a job at all as far as I know. I can go and do what I want next year. Life is an opportunity this year coming not a lottery.
No matter what else has gone on, I need to remember and give thanks for the ability to even be here writing this blog on New Year's Eve 2007. Happy New Year to all in 2008.
But, let's look on the bright side of this - last year I had Bladder Cancer, this year I don't have it any more. Last year it was a roll of the dice whether the treatment would work, now we know it did. I had a great job then, I don't have a job at all as far as I know. I can go and do what I want next year. Life is an opportunity this year coming not a lottery.
No matter what else has gone on, I need to remember and give thanks for the ability to even be here writing this blog on New Year's Eve 2007. Happy New Year to all in 2008.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Well that didn't work
I am still up at 23:35 and unlikely to get to sleep much earlier than a few hours time. I have been working on whether to submit a paper for a conference to be held in Chicago later this year.
I wrote an article some years ago and a fellow researcher has been urging me for a few years to submit this for review and if it gets accepted to go to Chicago and present the paper to a conference of international researchers. It would mean altering plans for holidays around but perhaps it may be worth thinking about.
I'm not sure if Chicago in August is quite what I was expecting - I was half hoping to be in New Zealand!
If my paper got accepted then I would give myself a big leg up in terms of wanting to follow my new research based career! It is a lot to ask of the family - a little selfish or self indulgent but I think I would really enjoy it.
I wrote an article some years ago and a fellow researcher has been urging me for a few years to submit this for review and if it gets accepted to go to Chicago and present the paper to a conference of international researchers. It would mean altering plans for holidays around but perhaps it may be worth thinking about.
I'm not sure if Chicago in August is quite what I was expecting - I was half hoping to be in New Zealand!
If my paper got accepted then I would give myself a big leg up in terms of wanting to follow my new research based career! It is a lot to ask of the family - a little selfish or self indulgent but I think I would really enjoy it.
Another night of sleep loss
I don't know why my mind wants to start undertaking massive calculations and what if scenarios as soon as I get to bed? It just does these things and I end up awake 3 hours later!
I am going to try very hard to get to bed early tonight and to not do any work before hand that gets my mind buzzing. It is so disruptive to my normal day as I end up sleeping in and then missing breakfast etc.
I am going to try very hard to get to bed early tonight and to not do any work before hand that gets my mind buzzing. It is so disruptive to my normal day as I end up sleeping in and then missing breakfast etc.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Back on subject
I suppose all these things going on have a bearing on my well being. However to get back to the subject and the bladder cancer and all of that. I was surprised that I felt like I was overheating at my friend's house the other day, I had to keep stepping outside as I was too hot. I get this a fair bit and I think it is the treatment. My immune system appears to be able to cope with people around me all having colds and so far, I haven't had one this year.
I find warm houses a problem and yet I have not found problems with hot days? Strange. I am still feeling tired and can fall asleep in my chair at almost anytime. I then go to bed feeling tired and get the thoughts rattling around and cannot get to sleep. That throws me out for the next day time wise and the cycle starts again.
Other than that, I feel OK but I know that I am neither fit nor what I would call well. By that I mean that I know I don't have cancer and that I am getting better each passing day but I am not fit, nor do I feel quite right - out of balance perhaps is the right way of saying it. I just feel not 100% If I were to put a figure on it I'd say 75%. Something isn't quite right and it may be everything getting to me at once, it may be an imbalance in the way my body is fighting one particular area of problems and other areas needs some TLC. Who knows? I think that I will just have to work slowly to tackle each area. Fitness, Diet, Physical and mental agility, whole boy wellness.
It is quite a peculiar thing to say that I don't feel completely right I suppose - but it really is as if there is something missing or something not in the right place. You can't put your finger on it and it isn't all the time. Often it is a malaise or melancholy but generally it is a listlessness or a form of procrastination. I know once I get myself up and out that I will enjoy going somewhere - I just sometimes don't want to get up and do anything.
I'm aware of these things so I can deal with them - I doubt that it is any different for anyone else coming out of an 18 month fight - I would think your whole body and your mind are shot to pieces with all the things that have happened to you. Trying to keep up appearances and lead a "normal" life are probably as taxing as anything else you do.
It will be interesting to see how I deal with this in the coming months.
I find warm houses a problem and yet I have not found problems with hot days? Strange. I am still feeling tired and can fall asleep in my chair at almost anytime. I then go to bed feeling tired and get the thoughts rattling around and cannot get to sleep. That throws me out for the next day time wise and the cycle starts again.
Other than that, I feel OK but I know that I am neither fit nor what I would call well. By that I mean that I know I don't have cancer and that I am getting better each passing day but I am not fit, nor do I feel quite right - out of balance perhaps is the right way of saying it. I just feel not 100% If I were to put a figure on it I'd say 75%. Something isn't quite right and it may be everything getting to me at once, it may be an imbalance in the way my body is fighting one particular area of problems and other areas needs some TLC. Who knows? I think that I will just have to work slowly to tackle each area. Fitness, Diet, Physical and mental agility, whole boy wellness.
It is quite a peculiar thing to say that I don't feel completely right I suppose - but it really is as if there is something missing or something not in the right place. You can't put your finger on it and it isn't all the time. Often it is a malaise or melancholy but generally it is a listlessness or a form of procrastination. I know once I get myself up and out that I will enjoy going somewhere - I just sometimes don't want to get up and do anything.
I'm aware of these things so I can deal with them - I doubt that it is any different for anyone else coming out of an 18 month fight - I would think your whole body and your mind are shot to pieces with all the things that have happened to you. Trying to keep up appearances and lead a "normal" life are probably as taxing as anything else you do.
It will be interesting to see how I deal with this in the coming months.
An overactive mind
I seem to sleep during the day and lie awake at night. Last night I was running through the various scenarios for the potential litigation that I will be involved in at some point during the New Year. did I do everything right, have I acted to the spirit of the contract and all that good stuff. After 3 hours or so running the scenarios around in my head, challenging every possible defence and coming up with arguments for those I finally got to sleep. That must have been about 3 this morning.
It is one of those things I suppose - it isn't going to just go away and it needs to be faced and I am torn whether to just set to and spend a few weeks preparing the case or whether to wait and see what happens. Initially I am happy to let things take their course for the first week of the New Year as there are other forces at work and other creditors will be claiming their money. I can wait for that to happen and then make a decision or can strike first. Waiting is probably best but for no longer than a week.
I do find though that I am spending far too much brain power on that rather than on getting on with things here. Now that Christmas is over I can spend some time getting myself ready for 2008 and decide whether I take that career change or not. Tempting as it is to make the change - you and I know that it will take a lot of thought and planning to make sure that I can actually turn a buck doing it.
So that leaves me trying to work out ways not to keep consuming brain power on something that may or may not happen. It is a distraction I could do without at the moment. I just hope that the the situation gets resolved one way or the other and quickly too.
It is one of those things I suppose - it isn't going to just go away and it needs to be faced and I am torn whether to just set to and spend a few weeks preparing the case or whether to wait and see what happens. Initially I am happy to let things take their course for the first week of the New Year as there are other forces at work and other creditors will be claiming their money. I can wait for that to happen and then make a decision or can strike first. Waiting is probably best but for no longer than a week.
I do find though that I am spending far too much brain power on that rather than on getting on with things here. Now that Christmas is over I can spend some time getting myself ready for 2008 and decide whether I take that career change or not. Tempting as it is to make the change - you and I know that it will take a lot of thought and planning to make sure that I can actually turn a buck doing it.
So that leaves me trying to work out ways not to keep consuming brain power on something that may or may not happen. It is a distraction I could do without at the moment. I just hope that the the situation gets resolved one way or the other and quickly too.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Still tired
It really takes it out of me - I am nowhere near as fit as I was a year or two back. Someone suggested it was the Statins I am taking as they have gradually felt more tired the longer they have been on them. I'm not convinced - I do get some of the side effects and so perhaps I ought to consider this in the future. I will get back to a regime of gradually building up my exercises again in the new year and hope that it helps me to overcome some of these periods of fatigue. Perhaps it is still the "healing process" going on? Who knows, all I do know is that I am pretty lucky that I don't have to continue this round of parties and eating and drinking for too much longer now. The last one for a while is this afternoon and once that is out of the way I can perhaps just take a long rest.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A Call from US, NZ and some good news
Great to hear a few distant relatives (in terms of miles) on Christmas day. That cheered me up so much I had my Uncle on the phone from the US and my cousins from New Zealand. Christmas day was one of cooking and looking after my guests. They all seemed to have a great time and it was nice to get some "time off for good behaviour" with the phone calls from the family.
Today we went to my sister in law's house for Boxing day afternoon tea. It is close to midnight, I am back and feeling very tired now. I intend to get some time off tomorrow but we have yet another evening of celebrations tomorrow! I wonder if I can take the sheer level of food and drink battering :-)
Today we went to my sister in law's house for Boxing day afternoon tea. It is close to midnight, I am back and feeling very tired now. I intend to get some time off tomorrow but we have yet another evening of celebrations tomorrow! I wonder if I can take the sheer level of food and drink battering :-)
Monday, December 24, 2007
Gammon is done
The vegetables are prepared and just the last minute things to do on my check list and all will be ready for Christmas Day. Later, as we have done for every year for the last 17 we will be off to our friend's house. The children have all grown up together and so for 17 years they have met up at Christmas Eve and we have started Christmas off with bang.
When the children were younger we would get home about 9 - nowadays we are lucky if we get home at 1 or 2 in the morning!
It is always a great evening out and there is always far too much food and drink available. Once we are on our way then we will know Christmas has begun properly.
I'm pleased to be celebrating yet another Christmas. I feel very humbled that two of my fellow warriors who were diagnosed about the same time have died this year. I shall take some time out to remember them tonight at about 9 pm.
When the children were younger we would get home about 9 - nowadays we are lucky if we get home at 1 or 2 in the morning!
It is always a great evening out and there is always far too much food and drink available. Once we are on our way then we will know Christmas has begun properly.
I'm pleased to be celebrating yet another Christmas. I feel very humbled that two of my fellow warriors who were diagnosed about the same time have died this year. I shall take some time out to remember them tonight at about 9 pm.
At Last
The new keyboard and mouse have arrived and suddenly things are a lot better and the typing actually comes out how you type it! Nice one.
It takes a bit of getting used to but a wireless keyboard does mean you can move around a little which is great.
The Mouse also works well being an optical one so you don't need a mouse mat and it works on about any surface.
Well that should keep me busy for a while. Well it is Christmas Eve and there is work to be done. not least of which is working out how to set up DVD RW disks for recording TV on and also to go and prepare the food for tomorrow. I also spend the afternoon preparing the Gammon and other such things.
Best wishes for Christmas to all.
It takes a bit of getting used to but a wireless keyboard does mean you can move around a little which is great.
The Mouse also works well being an optical one so you don't need a mouse mat and it works on about any surface.
Well that should keep me busy for a while. Well it is Christmas Eve and there is work to be done. not least of which is working out how to set up DVD RW disks for recording TV on and also to go and prepare the food for tomorrow. I also spend the afternoon preparing the Gammon and other such things.
Best wishes for Christmas to all.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Career Changing Thoughts
I have been giving some serious thought to this changing career move I reckon I could actually do this given my determination and also a serous desire now to get out of all the trappings of the rat race. It still makes me see red that people take your service and don't pay the bill. I expect that later next year they wont be quite so smug about having done that The trouble is the sheer amount of effort you have to go to to get back what is after all yours in the first place.
Whether pursuing your dreams or having a vocation actually puts money in your pocket at a rate enough to provide for the family still needs to be worked out. I intend to do plenty of work on whether it is feasible over the next few weeks. I hope to inject a serious amount of realism into the plan but if I can I will branch out into a researcher for family and local history. That would encompass a lot of the experience I already have together with my interest in the subject. If I could get paid to undertake research for those who cannot get to the archives we have in abundance in London, then it would be great as I could pursue my passion for History with a job I'd adore doing.
Now to see if the numbers actually fit together :-)
Whether pursuing your dreams or having a vocation actually puts money in your pocket at a rate enough to provide for the family still needs to be worked out. I intend to do plenty of work on whether it is feasible over the next few weeks. I hope to inject a serious amount of realism into the plan but if I can I will branch out into a researcher for family and local history. That would encompass a lot of the experience I already have together with my interest in the subject. If I could get paid to undertake research for those who cannot get to the archives we have in abundance in London, then it would be great as I could pursue my passion for History with a job I'd adore doing.
Now to see if the numbers actually fit together :-)
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