Friday, January 04, 2008

The morning blues

It is the 4th January 2008 and already I'm getting tested. A nice job came in the e-mail this morning. It would pay the bills, be easy enough to do and be a way of recouping losses on the previous venture but my heart just isn't in it. I really am quite anti getting back involved with anything to do with IT, project management or anything like it. I get tired of telling people what is wrong (what I am paid to do) only for them to yell at me and say I'm wrong and then their whole organisation comes crashing down like a pack of cards and somehow it is my fault.

You may detect a slight flash of anger in that last sentence :-) It does make my blood boil how many times this has happened and how often the problems are identified and various strategies are produced to manage around or past the problem and n one listens or does anything. When the worst happens no one can quite believe it and they all look like creatures emerging from the dark blinking in the sunlight.

So, better off out of it but it makes me feel almost empty to be leaving that all behind. I know I should do it for my health and for my sanity but turning your back on something you've done for most of your life is actually a lot more difficult than you'd think. Anyway, having said that there is an empty feeling there is also a growing idea for the new business which will keep me focused and hopefully get me over this uncomfortable period I am going through now. I imagine it is like getting a divorce or losing a loved one as it feels to be a great part of your life being removed.

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