That was an awkward moment

Spoke to my Dad. Danced around and sort of half laughed at the seriousness of his situation. I think he wanted "my blessing" that he wasn't going to go through the major operation that would be needed to potentially sort things out. I think my brother thought it wasn't the right thing to do but I guess I'm a bit more pragmatic about it than that. The operation for Pancreatic Cancer is a pretty heavy one even for a young man. Steve Jobs had it done and you can see that whilst it can be effective in an 80 going on 81 year old man what exactly would it do?

It's a Quality of Life thing if you ask me. But it took me back a bit as I wasn't expecting to talk to Dad at all for a few weeks but he appears to have bounced up and is putting a little weight back on and isn't stumbling over any more and his mind is back - he was very worried about losing that. In fact we noticed that to start with.

So it's put me in the tiniest little tail spin.

On the big upside - a good friend got his results today and they are all OK so that's good. Very pleased for him too. It's all the hanging about and worry that you could do without...

As a final whinge today, the brand new PC we have just decided not to take the password we set for it and I've had to go in and do a registry hack to change it. It's cost me another 3 hours that I didn't want to lose! Crazy - it did this after it updated itself. Crazy.....

Ramping up

Even more now as we get right into the guts of the business plan and the ideas come together and the plan begins to fill up with content. It takes some time to do small parts of the document, like the area I've just done showing share ownership and the changes in that over a period of time. Somehow you need to illustrate this n a useful and meaningful way - not easy as some of this stuff is pretty dry in terms of what you can say about it and we don't want to be stating the obvious.

On top of that it's been a pretty disruptive day all around and I've just been tide to my desk. The TV man came and replaced the set top box which is great because it has an optical output which is now plugged into my surround sound system :-) So Grand Prix racing is going to sound great on it as do films - I've tried it out a little but it is late and so don't want to wind the sound up too much. The sub-woofer makes a pretty good rumble though and so I'm looking forward to trying that out in anger later on.

Back to business and my head hurts

I was working with an old friend this morning who wants me to get involved in a deal with him that would be a pretty useful little sideline to what I'm doing now. Crazy isn't it, nothing comes along for ages and then, just when your doing well in your own thing, along comes another that I really ought to get involved in mainly because it would help out my friend and who knows, there may be something interesting at the end of it too.

Then I started working on the valuation of our business and the share distributions, dilution and so on. I've been building a series of models that allow us to model potential scenarios in that area.

Then my head decided it was about to explode so I stopped :-) Thank goodness for that!

Then the TV Set Top Box decided to die so that needs to be fixed in the morning. It looks like we are going to get a good old summer storm tonight with 50mm of rain (2") predicted it should be a hairy old night!

That's reassuring then

Spoke to mum this morning and I could hear dad in the background being, dad! Mucking about, firing off one line jokes and all that. So that's good. A couple of days and they're over the shock part and I guess realising that they not going to know until 31st August what it all means and what to do about it so no need to worry on that front.

Dad appears to have got his balance back (or mostly) and his mind back which he was worried about. This really does interest me because I was pretty put out that he sort of ignored me last time we went to see him - he wasn't his normal self and he appeared to be more interested in the TV than me. Well it looks as if that was also part of this too. I remember being pretty put out at the time but in hindsight I can see that's wrong on my part.

Nobody else saw it because it was gradual. Me - well I saw it because I hadn't seen them in perhaps 6 months.

Anyway - it appears that things are settled a bit for the moment. The 31st will be a stressful time I'm sure. I'll be seeing if I can get up there sometime in September to see them.

Mary Archer's Bladder Cancer

In the Telegraph today - Jeffrey Archer's wife Mary has a new bladder to combat the disease. It is an interesting story but the words used by journalists are still - well emotive perhaps?:

• "Battle With Cancer"
• "It is a formidable operation for the surgeon, let alone the patient."
• "decided to describe their ordeal to inspire other sufferers of the disease"

It does show what a wonderful job they can do though for more advanced stages of the disease - thank goodness that I didn't need that although there was a phrase mentioning "exhaustive chemotherapy" which I can see in this case would not be a real option and this procedure gives hope for us all. It is a little different in the case of males as it also involves radical work on the Prostate (I think) which has its own side effects.

The Pursuit of Happiness

It occurred to me that one of the strange things about life is that you sometimes don't appreciate what you have. For example, L is in Cambridge, she's found her accommodation, she's making plans, she's getting to meet people, wander around where she will live for the next 3 years. She is SO excited and I know, just because of her personality, she will have the time of her life. It's what I said to her. You will look back on this time as the most fantastic time that you will ever have had. You'll be young, at the peak of your energy levels and you'll be with lots of people, some of whom, will be your friends for life. I didn't go to University, so how do I know this? Well, my friends that did go and our friend's children are changed forever by the experience.

I always regret not going but I don't blame the system that stopped me. In all probability, I wouldn't have the life I have now so it's academic (or isn't). What I then thought about is some of the people I've met in my journey. I've climbed the greasy pole, I've had great roles where I've managed massive change projects and indirectly affected millions. Sounds great doesn't it but does it make me happy? I have a smug regard for the good things I've done but when I worked at the Charity it taught me another angle. I could use my ill gotten skills for good :-) The stuff I learnt fighting my way to the top could be leveraged to "do good" and suddenly, work meant a different thing. Most of the people I worked with did great things and they did it for very little money and yet they appeared to be quite happy in general (of course everyone has a moan every now and then). What I mean by this is that they had a simple, happy life. They didn't need to think about too much, money was important but wasn't everything. They invariably had a strong family life and they just seemed to enjoy themselves and be 'happy with their lot'.

I'm sure that if you'd push them to be more ambitious and to get on and climb the greasy pole etc that they would but they were just happy where they were, doing what they did and doing it compassionately and happily. Work life was (in my eyes) drudgery and not exciting at all, there weren't difficult challenges and there were very few 'dramas' happening. For me I have to have the excitement, the challenge and the deadline - it's the the thing that I have always had - but am I happy?

Yes I'm happy but actually I do have a hankering for just doing a simple job and then ramping up my social life. I've often felt that a job that was local, somewhere in the country or near the sea would be lovely. Arriving home in time to sit down outside, look out over a fine Vista with a glass of wine. Having enough money to have friends around for get togethers and the like, wandering in to a local pub, having a beer or two and being one of the locals. All those things have a certain attraction for me. But the people I worked with had little but appeared to be happy with their life without all the things that make my life buzz along.

I'd like to think that the girls will have a happy life if at all possible. This current atmosphere of greed and the pursuit of more and more goods and consumables doesn't help to set the scene and it doesn't actively engage the whole of society. It drives a wedge between the haves and the have nots which actively exposes the disparity in our society and splits us. Perhaps we will all wake up at some time in the future to the ugly face of capitalism - I saw a picture of Victoria Beckham with an £18,000 hand bag. Some people don't make that sort of money in a year. At some point in time surely we might have an outbreak of sense somewhere?

If I can borrow from our American Cousins the phrase Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness set down in the United States Declaration of Independence. I think it would be nice to have a simple straightforward set of rules like this in the UK. Sure we have the Constitution, Magna Carta but I doubt that anyone else could quote from that. I doubt we'd be allowed to bear arms though :-) We are dangerous enough without that :-)

So as I see L being SO excited and SO pleased to have got the place at University and just turned 18, I see all the hope and wonder that we set out with at that age and I hope that that is what she gets. She is a very funny girl with a great sense of humour (and an opposite nasty side if you do ever upset her and go past tolerance level) so all bodes well and I'm proud and envious all at the same time.

The Curry Club

Off for a meeting of the Curry Club. 17 of us and I've decided to drive tonight and not to have a beer. It does me good not to occasionally - I have a few left over from last week in the Fridge so can have one when I get home if I'm desperate.

We only have a couple a year - it will be a good turnout with 17 of us there and will be nice to catch up with all my mates. I'll also be able to give the Jag a run out - I've hardly driven it this past year - so it will be fun to have a little drive around :-)

My back is almost back to normal and I hope to restart exercising next Monday - I actually miss it and was most annoyed about it early on but a few days off and a curry tonight wont go amiss.

Reflections on Dad's Cancer

Sooner or later we all have to come to terms with stuff happening to our parents. It's that sort of time of life when that's what happens - my friends have all gone through something like this. So now it's coming around to us and it's not a good time at the moment of course.

I'm pretty cold about it at the moment - we aren't going to know more until the 31st August and so I can't do much about it. I'd love to stick my oar in and get some FOCC going for Dad but it isn't my place to do that at this particular time. I may suggest it after we hear what is going on. It sort of sounds as if they will offer treatment but not an operation - not surprisingly you need to be young enough to handle the severity of it.

I was more upset when I first heard what he had - it's a precursor to Pancreatic Cancer (Jaundice) yet he had none of the other side effects. The upshot is that it is early days and that QOL can be provided. The downside is that it isn't a 'good' cancer to get - it has a pretty bad prognosis and Dad's indicated that he isn't up to fighting it.... His wishes must be obeyed but I think I'll explain some alternatives that I know of.

You know my take on it that it is all about living, you do everything you can to achieve it. Let's hope that he gets his head into gear and decides to take this route. But I have to respect his decision whatever it may be.

Oops - upset my brother

Come to look back on it, Mum was pretty matter of fact and told me what was going on and then said talk to my brother. So T has all the details and the nurse didn't know what stage (other than early) or much else really. We know there is no tumour and we know that at 80 going on 81 the full operation just isn't on the table for Quality of Life (QOL) reasons.

The next appointment is 31st August and so we hope to find out what will be on the table at that point in time. It's a long way off isn't it? They aren't exactly rushing and so that is a partly good sign I guess. However, as I said to my brother the problems are that, generally speaking, all the cancer patients I knew had a worse time during the treatment than they did from the cancer which, strangely enough, wasn't painful or even noticeable in my case. The treatment was the thing and then I realised that T wasn't really as with it as he made out.

Of course everyone is upset and I probably did my worrying 3 or 4 weeks back with a general lack of sleep and worry about my Dad. He's obviously upset and Mum and T need to come to terms with it. I already have and in a way I'm being very matter of fact about it because how else can you be? I suppose me saying to T that everyone has to die didn't help the conversation along too well now I come to reflect on it but he should know me by now. I've a healthy regard for being alive these days.

However, Pancreatic Cancer does command some attention with only 5% of those diagnosed making 5 years. That figure has been like that for years - it's a difficult one to tackle and so Dad's options are somewhat limited and the 31st will provide the answers. T invited me to go up for the day but I really don't want to do that - it probably isn't right that I do at that time and I'm not sure what, if any, value I'd be.

I'll get up and see them in a few weeks anyway as I am due to go up north and it will be a good opportunity to see them and to carry on to my cousin's birthday party.

So Dad's got Cancer

Not sure what sort of Cancer it actually is yet - they just gave the results and he has to go to the big Hospital an hour or so away to meet a team who will give him the low down and discuss what to do about it.

It is very early stage so that's pretty good and he has to see them in a week or two - which seems a long time to me. Dad didn't actually want to talk to me - not surprising after getting that news I imagine but he has told them he doesn't want major invasive surgery so they know that - he will have the stent replaced though and we just have to see what they come up with for him.

I'm waiting for my brother to call and have a chat later. I doubt he will be in a great frame of mind - he tends to take this stuff badly. I'm being pretty pragmatic about it as I tend to be and want to hear the results of tests and a bit more information to understand quite what he has and what the stage and grade are.

It's not great news of course - never is - the doctors will no doubt explain what it is all about. I'll hunt out my list of questions and see if he wants them. Not much more to say really at the moment.

Back Ache and Goodbye PC

I had a terrible back ache yesterday but managed to feel a lot better last night and into the morning but it's back with a vengeance probably as I was still dealing with the troublesome laptop. I've had to admit defeat - it's only the second PC I've ever had this sort of unsolvable problem on and I can only imagine it is something quite mysterious that doesn't appear on software testing. How anyone can sort this sort of thing out themselves is beyond me it was a mess and I worked about 20 or more hours on in it and completely rebuilt the machine! What a nightmare. So it kind of work to a fashion but even with a new operating system on it still crashes.

So I sat down tonight with a seriously bad back. Rewarded myself with a beer and a bacon sandwich! I know - but I can't do anything exercise wise so might as well.

Can't quite fathom out what is wrong with me though behind all of this. I think I'm worried about tomorrow and my Dad's diagnosis. More for the fact that he's talking all wrong. I heard a phrase tonight saying that "not wanting to die" wasn't the same as "wanting to live" - Dad's got a negative mindset and that's not a good thing to have. Of course, we don't know what that diagnosis will be, they didn't find any tumour and nothing looked wrong with his Pancreas but they took biopsies anyway. Well we will find out soon enough.

It is also A level results day tomorrow so the students will be getting those at 9 am. L will go and collect hers and let's hope she gets her results and can go to University. The accommodation is ready and all the paperwork is here. Other daughter, A, goes off to Edinburgh a little later in the morning and it all sort of kicks off.

To go back to me, I've been feeling quite emotional and strangely not right about things. I have moments of really emotional welling up that I can't work out what it is about - maybe it is Dad.

Also thoughts for a good friend of mine who is having some tests at the moment and another family member with a benign brain tumour. It's all happening.

Vibration Plates a Warning

Just a slight warning, I slightly overdid it yesterday on some of the twisting and bending and have managed to hurt my back again. I think this is also to do with sitting twisted trying to sort out a laptop which is positioned to my left meaning that I've been twisting to the left to attend to it and working at an angle. So a combination appears to have left me in a twinging wreck this morning :-(

The plate IS very powerful and will seek out any weaknesses and it was enough to give me a pretty painful tweak.

Why you should go to your Doctor

It was a strange chat I had with my Doctor - you see I hardly ever go to my doctor - I actually have to be ill and I have to have had a chance to get over it. So for around 30 years I really didn't go to the doctor as I wasn't really ill. My doctor told me that around 80% of the people they see are well, to put it bluntly, somewhat Hypochondriacs and that the see them a lot some every few weeks. Of course there are some who are ill ill.

Here's a damn good reason to go to the doctors HERE this is Chris Evans and his story is very typical of today's cancer stories and I like the way this is written. He's well known in the UK - not sure about elsewhere in the world but in a way this is the sort of story that makes people think and let's hope that he has saved a few lives with this particular story.

I'm reflecting on my father's choice of words about having treatment or an operation and saying he won't unless it isn't intrusive (the operation) - I have no idea what the specification is for treatment though. He finds out this Thursday and I hope that it is something he can cope with. I understand that treatment may be daunting but reading that article I'd also be aware of what not having treatment can do too.

My own treatment was challenging but I am sure that other treatments are far more challenging. I remember that I did put myself in a state of mind to receive them, that it was a positive step forward and that it was going to make me better. The side effects were not reflective of the efficacy of the effectiveness of the treatment (apparently) well you could have kidded me :-) Some of the reactions were bad and physically took a fair toll but I'm here and I lived to tell the tale. That's the result - if I hadn't of had the treatment or the operation - I'd be dead. That didn't fit my plans at all. No Sir, that wouldn't have done. I think myself quite a lucky guy really. I kind of wished I knew what I know now when I was in my late teens as perhaps I'd have not lived the life I did for many years. I didn't go the whole hog and do drugs or anything like that - neither was I a soak but I did enjoy a beer and a cigar and I worked like mad to build a certain lifestyle and it bloody near killed me!!!

Anyway - I find myself quite upset at the moment with my dad's status and his reaction to it. He just sounds negative and that's not what I expected really. The weekend with the family down for the party was also a bit of a hard time. They are great and turn up from afar and then ask where my mum and dad and my brother and his family are? I make excuses about not travelling well and all that, it's hard and I can see them looking slightly askew and wondering why that should be. I felt bad for not having been up to see my Dad but I'll arrange to pop in on the way to my cousin's birthday party next month which again they are not going to.

I'm not certain how all of that will go really. We don't really talk about me being ill. My mum and I talk a bit about it but I've tried not to overdo it and of course you can tell sometimes when you say too much or give away some of the "pain". In fact, it is strange that this blog has far more detail in it than even my close family know. I certainly wouldn't have made too much of a fuss but I know a couple of times after my BCG treatments they would have seen me not looking my best and some of the photos of me early on when I was ill look as if I've been photographed in black and white whilst everyone around me is in glorious technicolour.

In fact the one thing that I feel these days is sadness that I upset so many people around me through being ill. They must have also gone through some sort of worry about how ill I was. When I think of their feelings it really churns me up. I don't feel sorry for myself that much but I feel sorry for those whom I frightened with my illness. It seems a strange way of thinking but there you go.

Vibration Plate Progress

I used a higher setting today and it really racked up the exercise. It was just too much today and I was surprised how it shook me about. you could really feel the vibration tightening up my muscles especially the leg and hamstrings. My sides and back actually feel a little stiff and my arms fairly buzz after doing some press ups on the plate.

Dad has his appointment on Thursday afternoon - they say they want to discuss his treatment. Interesting times. He's told us that he isn't having any treatment but he doesn't even know what it is yet! Certainly, it will be interesting to find out what it is and what they are going to do about it. No use worrying about it now though.

This flaming computer I'm repairing has all but died, I'm having to do a completely new install to see if I can rescue the situation. Apparently they had a friend over who showed them how to download certain stuff which looks as if it has stuck some pretty nasty malware on it. When trying to get rid of it, it's killed off the malware checkers and virus checkers and wouldn't let them load and it has put in blocks as well. So I may not have been able to rescue anything by the looks of it - all their photos and stuff gone.... Sad.

Birthday Weekend

It's been a full on weekend and great fun for L as it was her 18th birthday and it has been a lovely celebration. She is quite a bubbly character and full of fun and laughter. She looked great in a "special" party dress. She can now legally drink and vote so tonight she went out with her older sister to the pub for a drink and the quiz night.

The trouble is that I was late to bed on Saturday morning and this morning too as friends came back to the house - then it was Sunday lunch with my Aunt, Cousin and her boyfriend who came down a long way - about 4 hours drive or so.

We are going up to see them in a month or so. This friend's laptop is still not working properly - it seems to be in a permanent death spiral loop of blue screens....

Diet restarts tomorrow as I've had the weekend off to have beer, party food and cake!

Oh Dear

I went to bed around 2:45 after working on the laptop and it still isn't fixed properly. It needs some serious work done on it. It isn't working properly at all and looks to be full of Malware :-(

So my daughter also decides that it is all so exciting that at 7:30 she wants the household up and about to open presents for her 18th - to say I have a thickish head is an understatement. The process of troubleshooting is a logical elimination of various obvious problems and taking those out after each investigation and ticking them off. Of course when it gets complex like this one - some logic goes out and a bit of intuition comes in followed by lateral thinking and just hit and hope if all else fails.

We have the party later on - I hope I stay awake long enough to enjoy that.

Still at it

Trying to repair someone's laptop - because I know a bit, I become the repair man something I hope our business, if we get finance, will make a thing of the past. The amount of time I've spent so far on this exceeds five hours now and at £60 an hour (that's what the help desk would charge you at a £1 a minute) it would be cheaper to get a new laptop! That's the reality these days.

If you haven't seen what we are hoping to do then you can look here. We intend to bring in a new era where you don't have to be a computer wizard to own a computer. In fact there won't even be a computer.

So spent hours doing this and found malware has screwed the computer and I'm trying to remove it and it is trying to stay on the PC. Grrrr.

L is back from her camping holiday in Cornwall and getting ready for her big day tomorrow - she is 18 bless her and a big party tomorrow evening at the local Golf Club will, we hope, be a nice way to celebrate. Let's hope that no ones gets silly...

The ouch affect

My friend's girlfriend's mother isn't well. They've managed to get her home from hospital and it will be for the last time and the children are sitting vigil and it's all pretty sad. These things are and I haven't experienced it myself but there's a certain bit of me that went through this realisation ust 3 or 4 weeks ago. Dad's experience is a reminder that this is where it is all heading and that somewhere along the line this will happen to us.

It's sad because my friend's daughter is due to get married in a few weeks and timing is not without it's irony.

I'm still reeling from Dad's illness and sudden recovery. It brought it home to me and it also made me quite angry in a way. As you may recollect - I was left to my own devices when I was ill, no one actually came to see me. It's been 5 years and a month. I have made the pilgrimage when I was fit enough and so sometimes, I do feel (whether justified or not) a little bit put out. I also found that no one turning up for my 50th birthday was a bit naughty too. Maybe I just don't get the hint :-)

There was I tonight worrying about not going up to see my dad or run them around, despite the fact my brother lives 5 minutes away (I live 2.5 Hours away roughly). And yet no one did that for me - do you see the problem? It may be me but I still feel guilty I didn't get in my car and go up and see them last week but it wouldn't have done any good anyway. I don't know - I'm confused.

Anyway it is L's 18th birthday this weekend and we are going to have a big party. She's going to be spoilt rotten and she will also be the centre of attention on Saturday evening as we have hired the local Golf Club for a party, food and disco. My relations will be there and would have travelled from beyond where my folks live. However, if they couldn't make my party, then there is little doubt that they'd have put themselves out for my daughter.

I'm not that bent out of shape about it but you'd have thought that once in a decade they could have made the effort?

I know that some of you will be worried about me - you have no need to worry - I'm not "that" put out about it, I do find that it sends out the wrong signals to my daughter and my wife though. we "laugh it off" but as you can imagine it would make you question the logic of it all.

Well it's time for bed and I'll probably think different in the morning. Of all the feelings I've had recently with Dad's illness and me - not being there - I have to reflect on how much they were there for me when I was ill. But I'm being unfair and unkind and your family are your family after all, no matter how bizarre they seem to act.

It takes time

Getting in shape and losing weight but I do like the encouraging signs. I was really thrilled with the FOCC (Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese) or budwig diet (well part of it). I've only missed out once in - however long I've been doing it. I noticed straight away that my blood pressure had dropped, almost as if off a cliff. Yesterday's and today's readings were pretty low for me and 117 over 73 is really getting it where I want it.

As I said yesterday the vibration plate exercise plus the cross trainer seem to be the ideal mixture now. Where I used to do 30 minutes or so on the cross trainer followed by some dumbbell swinging and a few press ups, I now do 15 minutes on the Vibration Plate and 10 hectic minutes on the cross trainer. What I've noticed is that my circulation certainly feels to be better and since the FOCC and this exercise, my skin is smoother (I sound like some commercial now!).

I would like to drop another 1/2 stone but cannot see that happening for a while. Most of the stuff that's easy to come off has already and now it is just plodding away at this gradually - you mustn't lose weight too quickly - and see how a few more months will work out.

A week of Vibration Plate Exercise

Well - it is a funny sensation especially today as I wound the power right up to around 75% capacity and nearly shook my insides out :-) Wow is this thing powerful.

So - what's the week 1 verdict?

Well yes, it appears to work as my little love handles have disappeared already and I'm feeling firmed up on arms, legs, belly too. I've realised that I need to do both the vibration plate and the cross trainer. The reasons are:

Anaerobic Exercise - is exercise intense enough to trigger anaerobic metabolism. It is used by athletes in non-endurance sports to promote strength, speed and power and by body builders to build muscle mass. This is what the Vibration Plate system does.

Aerobic Exercise - is physical exercise of relatively low intensity and long duration, which depends primarily on the aerobic energy system. Aerobic means "with oxygen", and refers to the use of oxygen in the body's metabolic or energy-generating process. This is what the Cross Trainer gives me.

So what I've done in the past couple of days is a 15 minute vibration plate workout (no you can't just stand there and let it do the work for you) followed by a 10 minute session on the Cross Trainer with this exception, because it is 10 minutes and not 30 I go hell for leather and really get close to collapse at the 10 minute mark whereas I used to plod on with the longer routine. So what does this do? Well they say a 15 minute workout is close to 60 minutes worth on the Vibration Plate. You must warm up a little but it doesn't take long and then you need to vary the speeds and all the different positions which you do for no more than a minute each and believe me, sometimes it is difficult to do them for 30 seconds let alone a minute. I do a series of workouts that cover the whole body and tonight the high speed squats I did were agony, such was the intensity of the plate at around 75%.

I can tell you that I'm around 1/2 stone lighter and that my Blood pressure has dropped to below 120 over 80 - I recorded 117 over 73 earlier and I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good. I didn't do two days exercises in full as I was out and because I was only lightly testing out the Vibration plate on Monday and Tuesday last week.

So I think it looks like a good investment - it is strange that you don't actually sweat doing the exercises or get out of breath but you do feel your muscles working. the press ups on the plate and squats and planks are really amazing as you can feel everything working together. You sort of notice things the next morning - if that makes sense? I feel really fit in the mornings and as I've said I've noticed quite a bit of weight falling off mainly around my stomach but more especially at the sides rather than the front. It is a bit early to make any great statements about the Vibration Plate but I do actually enjoy doing that for 10 to 15 minutes - it's a bit of fun although watching your body flap about isn't all its cracked up to be :-) it's like jelly on a plate - wobble, wobble :-) But it is good fun and also only holding and doing exercises in short bursts and changing them lots of times is great. I can then get on the Cross Trainer, burn out 2.5 kM and then do some weights and I do a couple of minutes on very low on the Vibration Plate to just cool down.