Come to look back on it, Mum was pretty matter of fact and told me what was going on and then said talk to my brother. So T has all the details and the nurse didn't know what stage (other than early) or much else really. We know there is no tumour and we know that at 80 going on 81 the full operation just isn't on the table for Quality of Life (QOL) reasons.
The next appointment is 31st August and so we hope to find out what will be on the table at that point in time. It's a long way off isn't it? They aren't exactly rushing and so that is a partly good sign I guess. However, as I said to my brother the problems are that, generally speaking, all the cancer patients I knew had a worse time during the treatment than they did from the cancer which, strangely enough, wasn't painful or even noticeable in my case. The treatment was the thing and then I realised that T wasn't really as with it as he made out.
Of course everyone is upset and I probably did my worrying 3 or 4 weeks back with a general lack of sleep and worry about my Dad. He's obviously upset and Mum and T need to come to terms with it. I already have and in a way I'm being very matter of fact about it because how else can you be? I suppose me saying to T that everyone has to die didn't help the conversation along too well now I come to reflect on it but he should know me by now. I've a healthy regard for being alive these days.
However, Pancreatic Cancer does command some attention with only 5% of those diagnosed making 5 years. That figure has been like that for years - it's a difficult one to tackle and so Dad's options are somewhat limited and the 31st will provide the answers. T invited me to go up for the day but I really don't want to do that - it probably isn't right that I do at that time and I'm not sure what, if any, value I'd be.
I'll get up and see them in a few weeks anyway as I am due to go up north and it will be a good opportunity to see them and to carry on to my cousin's birthday party.
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