Coffee with Flocky

Nice change of scenery and a few coffees and a chat and a few beers on the way home - all good stuff.  It's nice to get out and about.  New Year's Eve already - where has this year gone?  It's been one hell of a year and it all looked so different this time last year.  Here's last year's post.  

You can't tell (of course) what will happen and whilst some of it was inevitable some was openly speculative and didn't quite turn out like I had expected.  I will again go for some more lifestyle changes as soon as the next few weeks and this mountain of food is eaten.  It will be a combination of a number of things I think.  Almost certainly the Low Carb diet and this time with some exercise and also using the juicer too as I used it a lot but then it was put away and didn't get used at all for a couple of months.  

As for friends, family and work well that is a different matter and needs to be worked on speedily as I can't get my head around it at the moment.  I feel I'm doing the wrong things for the right reasons and vice versa and my usual logic and thoughtful approach isn't working as emotions are getting in the way of my decision making.  

2013 will I hope be a healthy one and I'm just trying to work on the other stuff too to see if it can be better than 2012 - let's hope there aren't as many traumatic times ahead.

Bump bump bump

Bumping along the bottom and I've been somewhat down this Christmas - even been noticed by some people that I'm not my normal happy cheery self and indeed I'm not.  I'm kind of in a strange old place really as I have many roads that I can choose to go (Oh sounded like Stairway to Heaven for a moment).  Of course you can't predict the future and you can't always work out what is the best thing to do.  If you did, well we'd all be rich and happy and satisfied with our lot.

I had the most awful vision as I climbed into bed last night, it was of my father dying and lying helpless in his bed at the Hospital and it really took me aback and unsettled me.  Somewhere there was a shift in me last night that brought that on - I believe it was from a couple of programmes that were on TV and it sort of flashed in front of me and made me quite anxious and upset for a short while.

It's New Year's Eve tomorrow and I'm hoping that I can finally get some sort of cut off point and sort myself out.  I have all these ideas and opportunities and yet I know that until I get the stuff that's messing in my head out in the open and discussed I won't be committed to making proper and well founded decisions.

Wonder when

My mobile phone will be fixed.  I'm using the old trusty Nokia - you know the one that lasts for a week on a charge and allows you to talk to people!  :-)  The other one died when I was at my mums and looked pretty terminal when I took it into the shop last Saturday.  Let's hope that they can fix the damn thing.

Lots of people around tonight for a party which will be fun (I hope).  Still communicating in mono syllables here at the moment and will need to tackle that pretty soon.  Pretty fed up in myself though - not sure but have been very flat this Christmas.

Just got news that another relative has died this year - that makes three (excluding my dad) and this one also died of Pancreatic Cancer.  I'll write a little note to his widow - I hate it when you don't know and send a Christmas Card to someone who's died.

Have had assurances that the Piano will go in January - let's hope so and also hope that the temperature change by sticking it from house to garage won't overly affect it.  There was no way we could get 14 around the table (tonight) with the Piano in situ.

I'm just having a breather ready to commence preparing the meal for tonight.  I just need to go and work out a schedule for that. It should be easy as it is sit down and easy to prepare stuff, Italian Anti Pasta, Seafood, Cheese, Cold Meats and that sort of thing.  I think I may be cooking some Chilli and some Lasagne but need to find out from Mrs. F.

Shattered

Shattered indeed and also not in a great sense of humour this morning either.  I do tend to work at keeping everything going during the day and do whatever is needed in terms of cooking, drinks and so on.  Today, whilst there are people in the house I think I've actually only had a one word exchange and it's gone midday!  Today is a rest day as we have another day full on tomorrow with our friends over.  There's plenty of food to be eaten and my smelly cheese is lined up ready to be tackled too.  Plenty of beer in the garage as well.

I will see if I can hold back my current feeling that I want to rip someone's head off :-)  

Christmas Eve - Bam that came around quickly

Last year we had a good Christmas as I recall but tinged with some sadness as we knew dad would be unlikely to see this one.  He was recovering from a massive operation to sort out the infections he was getting regularly and whilst this did give him a little respite and probably prolonged his life I'm not sure how he would have balanced that out himself.  I suppose at least we didn't have his death at Christmas because of this.

I'm marching off down to the Hospital to get my blood test done - I admit to engineering this in this way because I'd gotten into a habit of going at Christmas time and it means the place is almost empty.  I will go in a short while, get my test done, wander back to the Greengrocer and pick up some odds and ends and then I might pop into the Cafe for a Bacon sandwich or something similar.  I can walk home or go via my local pub for a beer and say hi to the Landlord and staff.  Then back here for preparation for tomorrow.  Party tonight is also on the cards.

It's highly unlikely that the piano will go and so I need to put some pressure on after Christmas for that to be sorted out.  I think otherwise I will re-offer it to the family and if there are no takers I will see if I can just get rid of it or break it up - it's a sad thing to do but it can't sit in my garage for ever.

I'll probably sign off here for a few days so Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  Let's see what 2013 brings.....

Almost upon us once again

Christmas that is.  Final bits and pieces are being picked up and acted on - a bit of shopping here and there, some gifts as we may have an unexpected guest on the day and odds and ends like that.

I'm busy transferring my music from vinyl, tape and CD to my hard drive and also now the stuff I got from my mum (dad's stuff).  I must have doubled my DVD collection and have a hundred CDs and Cassettes to rip and store.

It's actually quite nice that dad and I had similar taste in films and music although I doubt he ever got my French and bizarre film collection - not many people do :-)

I'm having trouble being "nice" to people - it is the same every year - why on earth people get all stressed out about things is beyond me - no one expects it to go as planned surely that's part of the fun?  Taking out their stress on me isn't the best way to make me sympathetic or help out - I tend to have to bite my tongue very hard indeed.  At least stuck up here by my PC I'm not going to get involved too much!  :-)

Early Morning

Some idiot trespassing on the lines so A can't get to work, what is wrong with these people?  Anyhow, meant a rude call and Mrs. F. has gone and picked her up and taken her to a parallel line into town so hopefully she can get to work on time.  I could go on about our transport system especially having used it for 30 + years myself.  The number of incidents you get that stop the damn thing working are a joke.

So that's us up and about this morning.  Let's hope Mrs. F. is in a better frame of mind than she was yesterday - you'd have thought I was some sort of mass murdered the way she treated me when she got back from work - I've hardly seen her all week and all she could talk about was the couple of boxes I'd brought back from my mum to give to A so she could sell them.  Rather than leave them and look in the New Year it had to be unpacked (and then re-packed) there and then, on the spot, in the hallway which then means your sort of cut off from getting anywhere else in the house.

Christmas has arrived

My Turkey arrived mid morning and is sitting in the fridge ready to go along with other bits purchased and all the veg I bought yesterday.  So at least we can eat :-)

Business partner came over and we had a few beers and lunch and a chat which was nice.  I need to take my mobile phone in to the local shop to be sorted out - perhaps I will do that on Monday (if not tomorrow).  Will try and arrange to go to the Hospital on Monday too so I can get my blood drawn for the Doctor so I can go see them in the New Year.  Also need to see the dentist too - both of these are at least 6 months overdue but I really wasn't in the mood I have to say.  I think maybe I can use 2013 as a "turning point" allowing me to move on a bit.

I'm concious that the inaction has gone on long enough and now is the time to declare interests and to make decisions.  At least I don't have too much to worry about at the moment apart from the Piano which is now in the garage.  I think if I don't get an answer or the thing moved that I will just recycle it.  

Back from Mums

Not a sign of the Piano being moved and so glad it is stuck in the garage.  In some ways it gets rid of one problem for me and reasserts my belief that if you want a job done - you'd best do it yourself.  * sodding months it's taken and it still hasn't been Moved!

Had a good couple of days at my mums.  Amused me going out with my brother, the one with the really important well paid job where he took a 5 figure drop in pay a few years ago which equalled the money I earnt in a year!  For the 4th time in a row I've got him to come out and meet me and I've bought the first round, My mum bought the second and his father-in-law bought the 3rd.  I notice things like this the tight sod!  Of all of us in the room he's got the money to buy a round but even with the empty glasses staring him in the face he waited until his father-in-law offered.  Oh well, why am I not surprised by this?

The rain has caused chaos on the roads but my journey was uneventful until a Dutch lorry rammed a car outside of the Dartford Bridge in the narrow roadworks!   Crazy stuff but as luck would have it I was about 20 cars behind so managed to get through and keep moving.  I've done all the veg shopping and see that my Christmas is on its way from good old DHL.  I hope that it will arrive in the morning which might allow me out for a beer with a friend.   Fingers crossed.

To make things really bad my phone has died on me :-(  It is pretty annoying as it looked as if the battery needed charging which I did and then the phone just wouldn't work and kept turning itself off.  So I need to get onto the manufacturer and sort that out - it is just annoying though.

Commitment

Not  where they stick me in a home!  No commitment where you ask someone to do something and they do it when they said they were going to do it and how you agreed to do it - the sort of stuff I've lived with all my life as a Project Manager.  Why oh why can't people just commit and that's it instead of saying one thing and saying or doing another?

The words I used to dread were "I've used my own initiative" or "I decided not to do it like we agreed" or "Did I say I was available tomorrow? Well I'm not now"  Call me old fashioned but this is just another one of the failings in modern society no one (sorry over generalisation but I'm having a flame and it's justified) just gets on and does it these days there's always some stupid excuse or they want some sort of commitment from me when they aren't willing to give one themselves.

Had a good evening out with Flocky down in Sussex and had a great meeting and good fun with the lads (we tend to all meet up on "the circuit" as we call it).  Luckily it wasn't a Christmas meal but a really nice Beef Bourguignon and a fabulous cheese and fruit board afterwards.  My nemesis is a cheese board.  Once Christmas is over I will need to get back onto the diet and cheese and many other things will have to be put to one side and only had on cheat day.

It is getting towards Christmas - one week on and it will almost be over for another year!

Glad I'm Going Out

Sometimes I wonder just what I'm meant to be able to do when I get whinged at because someone hasn't done something, hasn't got time or hasn't done something.   Can you drive me to ..... well no actually I can't I'm getting ready to go out at that time.  They made the appointment 5 minutes ago, it's been known that I'm gong out for months and that this week is a bit of a difficult one.  Suddenly I'm the villain of the piece or is it peace?

Once one starts on me then it's fair game for all of them to round on me.  That's the one that rattles me, suddenly I'm the whipping guy for all sorts of sh1t and when I try and assist or suggest there's always some sort of reason that won't work.  So I end up telling everyone to forget it and walk away.  It just annoys the hell out of me and I was in a pretty good frame of mind this morning.  Now - well I'm going to leave earlier than I would normally have done and get an extra hour in at the pub waiting - I can at least have a drink and work on some notes and important stuff. 

I'll be back late so at least I won't have to interact until tomorrow - I have a friend coming round so I can sort out some problems they have with their computer and then the hairdresser and then we are off out for a meal in the evening.  I'd better pack my suitcase too I suppose as I'm off to my mums.

Crazy week.

Hell of a week coming up

Out Monday and Tuesday Nights off to my mums on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday my food arrives.  I also hope that the Piano gets shifted this week - after all it's only been about 8 months!  I need the space for Christmas.  

I still need to make sure that I have case available for odds and ends - I'm buying all my veg up at my mums where there is a great big farm shop and the stuff is at least half the price it is here if not more.

I need to do some more paperwork too.  Suddenly the time pressures are back on!  Oh well keeps me on my toes I suppose.  

In a better frame of mind at the moment and Mrs. F. is getting better though not 100%  Just fingers crossed that none of us goes down with it - it was pretty disgusting I have to say.

Mrs. F's Birthday

She's a bit better than she has been and at last was able to get out of bed - have a bath and eat something.  Poor lass but at least none of us have it which is a good thing.  

So we had an interesting day eventually and it's nice to have L home from University as she is very good around the house and good fun - I miss her as she is good company too.

I've convinced Mrs. F. not to go to work tomorrow - she is too weak and the last thing she needs to do is to either pass on what's she has had or just get completely knackered trying to do a full days work with kids after being stuck in bed for close to 2 days.

Tomorrow I'm off to Sussex for a meeting in the afternoon and then on Wednesday off to my mum's for a couple of days.  Mind you one of the roads I normally use is now flooded and so I need to work my way around that somehow.

A little calm restored

Mrs. F. is a lot better this morning and at least able to take some food (well Rich Tea biscuits) and some water and now some tablets for her headache.  Poor girl has had a horrible day and night but a good night's sleep.  I also managed a good 7 hours sleep but did have a few Ginger Wine snorters before coming to bed :-)

I have had a headache for a couple of days now but that's being stuck inside and doing the Thursday overnight vigil.  Anyway, so far I appear to have gotten over having the same things so I hope that it is an isolated incident and more food poisoning than Norovirus - but time will tell I guess on that.

I've now catalogued my DVDs, have decided to discard my VHS tapes (those that remain) and see if I can transfer them to DVD - not hopeful about that - I may as well just buy the DVD replacements for the odd ones I have still.

It's a bit like going through my Cassettes and Vinyl records and making them MP3 before selling or dumping them (whichever is most appropriate).   I was meant to be out tonight but just in case this is viral or can be transmitted I'd best not as giving it to a further 20 or more and their families is not a good Christmas Gift.  If I can keep well then I am out on Monday to my last meeting of the year.  We are out Tuesday and then I'm away Wednesday and Thursday to see my mum and then Friday - Christmas arrives (well my Turkey and all the trimmings).  Now to hope that the Piano gets sorted too.

Not been a great day

Poor old Mrs. F. has had a horrible day today and can't keep anything down but at least she is sleeping now.  I'll hang around downstairs for a while and then try and get a bit of sleep - I've been disinfecting all day and running water up and down the stairs.  I've also managed to start to catalogue my DVDs at last and that's helped me to work out where some of them have gone (like in my daughter's room) and some I've lent out.  At least I can now track them.

I think I'm OK but haven't felt great all day - perhaps that's because Mrs. F. has been so ill.  I've cancelled tomorrow's party just in case I've got anything.  

Sleepy and heady

Ever worked right through the night?  Well if you have you'll recognise that slightly heady and very tired feeling you get.  I've had a couple of hours sleep I reckon but poor old Mrs. F. is throwing up regularly at about 1 hour intervals so after I've sorted out cleaning and resetting and then nodded off the poor woman is off again.

I don't feel good myself but then I've never liked to see anyone suffering.  I've forced some food down my neck, had my tablets and can definitely feel slight cramps in my stomach but that just might be something else - I sure hope it is.

I've cancelled going to a party for a friend tomorrow - if I'm carrying this I don't want them to catch it.  

On more mundane things I'm planning to get back to some serious diet and exercise in the New Year mainly because it makes sense to do so after the excesses of the Christmas period are gone.  I've been careful about what I eat but with 4 to 6 weeks of being out and about I've noticed a big increase in my weight and also in my physical appearance.  I'm also puffed out coming up the stairs etc and so out of condition.

I intend to get back to the Tim Ferris diet (a modified Atkins) and to get back to using my juicer, my exercise X-Trainer and Vibration Plate on a regular basis.  It just goes to show that when you get sidelined by an event it is quick to fall back into bad habits.  This time I actually hope to take my weight back to before I was ill and if possible back beyond that.  

Yes, it IS 2 in the morning

I'm up and awake as Mrs. F. has been ill for the past 2 hours or so.  Not good - looks like Norovirus to me and that's scuppered a number of things.  She wont be going to work like this in the morning and from what I've heard, despite all my clinical precautions I'm next in line for it as is young A as we have all been in contact this evening.  That also probably means that I ought to cancel going out on Saturday night as I may well be a carrier if not already have the damn thing by then....

That's one of the problems with Mrs. F. working with young children and also today was the school play so potentially anyone could have brought this in with them!  Oh well.

I'm not going to disturb her by trying to go to bed so I'm going to hunker down in the office a few yards away and I can at least fetch water, clean out buckets (yep - yuk) and try and keep the bathroom sprayed down with disinfectant etc.

It was all going so well up until then too :-)  I thought we had managed to miss it altogether.  

It appears that most people have been put on this earth

To p1ss me right off.  The craziest of which today was when asked to confirm my date and place of birth with a call centre (which getting to a live person past "speech recognition" suitable only for Martians and those of Eastern European dialect).  I correctly go my birthday right and where I was born but did sub-district, post town, region.  Then asked what my password was I said I didn't know.  They they suggested it was where I was born.  So armed with that I gave the 2 and 4th letters or each of the originally correctly answered questions before and guess what - there's no way it was any of them!

So when I had the conversation that how did they originally say where I was born was OK but now it was different I had to call back and speak to security.  What a pain as I asked for a direct line as I didn't want to go through all the nonsense a second time.  But yes I did have to go through it all but made sure that I spoke like a Ukrainian this time which appeared to work some of the time.   Eventually things were resolved but it was entirely unsatisfactory and I can see why Mrs. F. is normally loathe to leave me to deal with this sort of sh1t on a day-to-day basis.  

Surely there must be other pragmatic down to earth people out there :-)  Whoever thought of voice recognition on the phone needs certifying as the experience was painful to say the least and just serves to make customers angry.

Christmas is wrapped up and ready to rock and roll and I'm just completing copying over my CDs to my hard drive so that I can use that to stream music in the house.  Apparently my dad's collection is coming home with me next week (CDs, Cassettes and DVDs) I already have the record collection but have been unable to find a suitable buyer for that although there are some good albums in there.  Maybe in the New Year.

I suppose I ought to start moving all my Vinyl over to hard drive soon too - there'll be a lot of that to do I guess.  It also needs some attendance on the tracks as well to make sure that the record isn't jumping and to clean up the hiss and pops from the surfaces.

I have my accounts to complete as soon as it is the end of the year too so I may as well get started with those too as I have some time available.  It's actually nice not going out but that all changes again on Saturday...

All Wrapped

Yes - I managed to get all Mrs. F's birthday and Christmas presents wrapped up and stored away and I just have one more set of presents to complete - once I've worked out a little poem to go with them.

Other than that - I am busy ripping my CDs to my hard drive and onto a pen drive so I can play them on my surround sound downstairs.  I've now got the ability to stream music and film but don't have the devices to actually play them (to the quality I want).  I have a number of cassettes and vinyl records I need to transfer too at some point.

Later today I need to concentrate on my remaining tasks.  The company that I was meant to do the test for have now confirmed that I am waiting for them to get back to me (not vice versa).  I wonder do I really want to work for a company where this has happened.  Mind you it probably means that no one has questioned it before....

Somehow I need to start having a meaningful conversation about the future with Mrs. F.  neither of us has much time and I've been out and about for what feels like 4 or 5 weeks now and hardly around and so it is difficult.  However I need the conversation and to make some decisions.

Bait not taken

I decided not to go to London today - I'm a little bit wary about what the Charity want to talk to me about.  Mind you, I wouldn't rule out doing something active for them as long as I'm not expected to be in the office all the time.  But I digress.

I shall see what they have to say but probably in the New Year.  Actually a part-time role may be good and I've digressed again - you see the way my brain works filtering and reassembling to make things fit? :-)  

Oh well - now to make use of today and go and get presents wrapped up and sorted out ready for Christmas.  It is also Mrs. F's birthday and so we have to get things that are non Christmassy for her and then only after her birthday can decorations and the like go up.